I just got another med added yesterday - now I am taking 100 mg of Lamictal and 5 mg Abilify. Although I have been feeling better on Lamictal, I was having some downturns, sometimes feeling down on myself for at least one day. I feel it is understandable because I lost my job, I have no medical coverage, I have a civil judgement against me, my mortgage is six months overdue, and both of my parents are in the hospital, two different hospitals. Somehow I am hoping things have to get worse before they get better, just how much worse do they have to get?
I write this to let you know that you are not the only one who feels bad, I think we all can relate, and I hope things do get better for you.
So sorry you are going through all of this. You know, it sounds like you feel like I feel alot of the time - I am just not myself and haven't been since early in 08. I long for the old Georgie Girl.
I am glad you are talking regularly with your doctor. Keep those lines of communication open with him/her and with us. All of us can relate in some way with your feelings and empathize.
I hope that you feel somewhat better today. I want to "ditto" serafena's 1st response to you,...I absolutely agree with her.
Twisted, I remember feeling the same way you are at the beginning and even the full 1st year of my treatment. It was very rough, but I kept in close contact with my pdoc and therapist. We tried a lot of different medications and combination of medications and different dosages. Unfortunately for most of us it does take a very long time to find the right cocktail. And to be honest, I still need my medications tweaked every now and then. But that goes with the reality of living with bp.
I remember longing for the "real me" to surface again. I even forgot what the "real me" was like! It takes time working with your pdoc, therapist and a lot of effort on our part.
I understand. I've been there. Please keep up the good fight. It does get better.
May you have a peaceful day.