I have been married to my bp wife for 17yrs and have three children. My wife is also asking for a divorce. I am waiting it out as I think when she comes out of her mania she will change her mind. I like you, can't determine very easily whats bp and what's part of our relationship. The only thing I can be certain of is I didn't make my wife ill and her illness does affect her ability to maintain relationships with me or anyone else. I'm not going to divorce my wife but I am trying to set boundaries that will curb the excesses. Its long and hard but I believe it will be worth it in the end.
That said, if my wife divorces me that's her choice however bad it might be. If that happens I'll doing evrything I can to retain custody of our children for their sake as much as mine.
To try and get some normality from situation I have reduced my working hours so can spend more time with family, have realised that I can't keep absorbing stress without negative affects for me and have sought help from my Dr and church minister. Finally am being much more upfront with the mental health team to try and get them to intervene when things are bad rather than me and kids taking the strain.
Have you tried talking to your DR about what's going on, maybe he can get some help for you and maybe even your wife.
My wife is currently off meds. She had appendicitis 2 mos ago needed to stop the meds that made her constantly sleepy to avoid an "accident". She does not interact with the kids any more than she does with me. That is one of the things that tells me it is the BP. But she also is reluctant to talk about it. She makes no effort to help me deal with the situation or to help me understand her current needs. Last year she was very active and positive till this time of year when she decided she could do without meds and crashed ending up hospitalized. That fear is probably playing a part in my current struggle. Reading some of your posts and your words help make me feel like I am less alone. I have al ot of family support from her father, but sometimes that creates problems with her. If her dad is to supportive of me it has a very negative effect on her. He never involved in the things between us he just helps a lot with the girls.