Pdoc appointment tomorrow

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tyno3
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Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 1081
   Posted 11/20/2008 12:22 PM (GMT -7)   
i am feeling really nervous about seeing my psychiatrist, tomorrow. i am feeling much better since he has me on 150mg. of zoloft daily, however, I still get cripling anxiety and have been taking benzodiazapams to level me out. Also, to allow me to sleep because my system doesn't respond to the whopping dose of amyltriptilene I take at bedtime. I find, sometimes when I'm in a flare, (fibromyalgia) the amyltriptilene, can make me much more comfortable, but it's not getting me the uninterrupted 8 hours I need, each night. Invariably, I am wide awake at three AM. The benzodiazapams, at bedtime relax my muscles so I can get to sleep, and stay asleep, as well as help me level out a bit when I get that hypomanic state of fear and anxiety, uable to sleep scared to do anything, talk to anyone. My pdoc has been aggressively limiting the Valium, which is a lifesaver in fighting the sleep disorder and the fibro,as well as balancing out the highs, which we all recognise means there's a crevace awaiting us when we feel that high.

Precious Gem
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Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1139
   Posted 11/21/2008 7:18 AM (GMT -7)   
I hope your PDoc visit went well. I hope you feel better soon. I have been very unstable lately as I am hypersensitive to any pharmaceuticals but I just started a new med and even though it has only been a few days I am feeling so much better. It truly amazes me that you can try different meds for months on end, feeling like there is nothing out there that will help you and then wow, you hit on the right combo and you actually feel yourself again. Now I know that this may not last, but I try to just enjoy the good when I get it. I hear alot of people say they do not like going to see their PDoc and that they get very nervous as you stated. Funny, I never feel that way because the first two I saw I never clicked with so I just did not quit trying until I found one that I felt comfortable with and could communicate with openly and honestly. I think that is very important to help you get well as you can be. I look forward to my visits, because his manner and reassurance always makes me feel better.

Hope today is a good one for you.

BP Gemini

Bipolar 1
PTSD

tyno3
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 1081
   Posted 11/21/2008 5:28 PM (GMT -7)   

Thank-you BP Gemini. Actually, I made it through the appointment ok and even got a little help. The problem for me is, I live in Nova Scotia, Canada, and there is a serious shortage of pdocs. It took over eighteen months to get an appt. with this one so he could be Atilla the Hun and I'd still have been thrilled to see him. It isn't easy to shop for pdocs here. He actually used the f word on my first visit and I didn't call him on it. I just let it go by. I don't know if it was some kind of test or what. The mind games. My mother is a retired pdoc and she plays lots of mind games. I never really had a childhood. I was doing her homework for med school when I was ten, as well as looking after her other two children, catering parties, managing the household budget and going grocery shopping. No wonder I'm mixed up. Anyway, I was able to get to discuss the meds with him (the pdoc) today and wasn't intimidated by that cold stare which he gives over the top of his glasses. We ended the session in a compromise which i feel was progress b/c last visit he cut my anti-anxiety meds by two-thirds. This visit I got one third back and can live with that.

One problem I am having with all my doctors is that I'm caring for my aging father who has stage two, Alzheimers. Every one of my docs say "put him in a nursing home". We are from a farming family and we care for our aging parents as long as we possibly can. Both my grandparents, my Dad's Mom and Dad, were angels and asked only that they be allowed to pass in their own home. My father and I made sure that happened. Now it's my Dad's turn and I cannot envision putting him in a locked unit. He is an big man, physically very strong and has a fierce temper. He would die very soon after he loses his freedom to go out, play with the dogs, look at the sky, the trees, etc. So, I cannot be totally honest when the pdoc asks if I have taken steps to turn dad's care to the gov't. His name is on a waiting list but it's a very long list, and I'm not pushing the issue. My sibs are self-absorbed and not in the picture. One is also BiPolar but won't get help, so she is a destructive entity. The other, a brother, considers himself depressed but functions very well, in his own little world. So, here I'm beginning to ramble. Forgive me. I am glad you found a med combo that is working well right now. It is a wonderful thing. 


serafena
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Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 11/22/2008 8:22 AM (GMT -7)   
Tyno,

I'm glad to hear your appointment went well. Glad you're holding your own with your doc. That's all you can do is stand up for yourself.

I think it's a very personal decision what you do with aging parents and you must make that decision for yourself, regardless of what docs and everyone else tells you. You must know the stress probable adds to your bp mood swings, but if you're willing to take that on to take care of your dad, more power to you.

serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II


tyno3
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 1081
   Posted 11/22/2008 9:16 AM (GMT -7)   
Thank-you Serafena: I am pleased also that I won't need to see him (pdoc) again until February. I am grateful for the help, but I feel, I'm as well now as I've been in several years. Also, I have a bottom line re.: taking care of my Dad. Right now, it's workable, although stressful. If his deterioration accelerates dramatically, I realise there is no happy ending to this story. I will have to place him if he becomes physically aggressive. Most of the time, he's a *****cat. Occasionally, he turns into a lioness protecting her territory. It is a very personal choice, as you say.
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