Thanks shebsy. I wish I did have someone to do the cooking.
It's not just the housework. The kids are draining too. Although they are teens (and one 20) they still need so much attention. I have to help them keep an eye on their grades and teach them about taking care of their money. The two older ones have cars. They all need medical and dental care and appointments. The younger two have band concerts and other school activities to attend. My 20 year old daughter has a boyfriend and wants to talk about him and her college problems all the time. I have found that when you have teens you have to constantly be on the offensive. If you don't keep a tight eye on them, then troubles develop and you have a bigger mess on your hands.
Don't get me wrong, I love my kids. But it all takes a lot of energy. When I had my three kids, I was in a good part of my life. I felt good and things were fine. I stayed pretty good until about 7 years ago. Then things have been off and on. Luckily my husband has been here to fill in the gaps and the kids have done well. Most of the last 7 years I've felt fine, but I've had bad periods where I laid in bed a lot. But I still talked to the kids and supported them. I did the best I could.
I think Americans ( and maybe BP people) are too hard on themselves. I know I feel guilty a lot too. But what can you do?
Thanks for responding. It helps to "talk".
i can certainly relate to the delemmnas described in this thred about trying to do too much, how much is reasonable for a person with BiPolar illness, or any chronic illness, for that matter. It is both an individualized matter and a temporal matter. Some times when we feel better, we can do as much as anyone, sometimes more because we try to compensate for other days we've not been able to contribute much. But there is a fine line that needs to be observed when deciding to take on additionsl responsibilities. As we add to our load, we need to build in safe guards for those days and times when we simply cannot function.
We will have those days. other than being methodival about taking our meds, our bad days are part of this disease, and even though you might not look sick on the outside and you may be falling to pieces, inside. If you were insulin dependent diabetic and didn't have access to the insulin, say you realise you're out on a long holiday weekend, are you going to get angry because you can't function. No, you'reing to do whatever you can to take care of yourself.
Dear BP Hubby: I'm glad you have come here to gaina perspective on this disease and how it wipes it's victims out. Do you swim? If you do you probably enjoy swimming in the ocean when there is a bit of a surf, you can body surf, like wait for a wave just about to break, throw yourself into it and let it carry you to shore. If you haven't done that maybe you have used a "boogie board", a small much lighter version of a surf board, but made of styrofoam, not wood and not resin, just styrofoam.
I've done both, it's great fun. However well I can manage to do it, I certainly would not attempt it in seventeen ft. seas. That is your dear partners illness. Sometimes there is a foot of water pooling around her feet. She can slosh through it, inconvenient yes, insurmountable, no. Slightly inconvenient walking around in wet shoes all day but not impossible.
Sometimes the seas are very high. Try as she might, she cannot do more than curl up in a ball in bed and hang on tight, to her life raft I hope, that's you. She isn't being lazy or as my mom wrote to one of my teachers back in 5th grade, she isn't "malingering". This is a very serious illness and a very unpredictable one. A person can be functioning at a very high level, there are many geniuses with BiP, but underneath the facade, it's very unstable. If you know physics, you know this: what goes up, must come down.