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Rocky Hardplace
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 20
   Posted 12/14/2008 1:44 AM (GMT -7)   
Hello. Anyone info will help. I'm just figuring out what's been creating hell in my marriage that at times is also the most heavenly marriage in the world it seems. I've been convinced that I've been Married to two separate women for a while now, but now I'm pretty sure she's bipolar. She's 42 and has known something wasn't right since early teens. She has dealt with depression over the years and started exercising and eating healthier to make her feel better about a year before we met. After months and dozens of "almost" divorcing and falling more in love afterwards it seemed like it was about to go too far to recover. Out of desparation and last resort I talked with her mom to seek any advice I could get. Being aware of probably all our problems from frequent calls from my wife she has noticed a pattern and has done research on bipolar, along with her own experiences with her husband,who she believes is bp also, has suspected my wife was victim to this cruel condition. I started reading about it and was amazed as I read all symptoms. After reading enough to convince me, I gingerly approached the subject when I thought the time was right and she agrees that there's a problem. I'm not sure if she's suspected bp and she's trying to self treat, or if she just thought it was depression alone. She knows something has to change and said she would be willing to seek help. I assured her that she's not alone and I'd do whatever it took to get my wife back. It's been 3 days since and I am scared to death. I really hate to read all the negative reports on almost unpreventable divorces associated with bipolar and marriage. Is love enough to make this work, cause I love her beyond words! Or will all my efforts and pains end up in vain? I am overwhelmed at all the uncertainty about the cause of this evil disease and the hit and miss treatment of it. If anyones had a simialar experience that has a positive outcome please give me some hope because I don't know how much I have left. Thanks!

serafena
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Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 12/14/2008 11:35 AM (GMT -7)   
Bipolar and married, please raise your hand! Count me in!

Hi Rocky,

Welcome to HealingWell and to the bipolar board. We're glad you're here. Hopefully you can find some more information and some support here.

You absolutely can make a bipolar marriage work, but it takes cooperation and a huge effort and commitment on both your parts. She needs to agree, as you say she has, to getting treatment and doing her level best to manage the disorder (if that is indeed what the problem is). You have to agree to do research (as you've already started doing), supporting her because not everything she experiences or does is her fault, and be part of her wellness team. It takes a strong partnership to make a marriage with a strong emotional illness work, but when it works it's good. The parts of her you love are still there, and medication and therapy can help manage the parts that are hard to live with. But it's not easy or guaranteed. She will still cycle, she will still have bad spells, but they hopefully won't be as bad when she's being treated.

You should also know that bipolar also "looks" like other disorders and personality disorders, so a psychiatrist may find something else wrong instead. But nonetheless, now that she's agreed, make sure she gets to a psychiatrist, not a general practitioner, for an evaluation.

Good luck,
serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II


mommy.michele
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 369
   Posted 12/14/2008 9:06 PM (GMT -7)   

Rocky it sounds like you have a lot to swallow right now.  The first step would be to talk to each of your MD's to have you referred to a pdoc or a therapist and get diagnosed by a professional.  You seem to have done a lot of research and are probably close to correct on a lot of your assunptions.  But with the right kind of therapy, and the correct medications you both can start out on this new road together.  It sounds like you both are mentally in the right place (meaning you both see that something is wrong and needs to be looked at further).  I know you said you are self employeed...do you two have health insurance?  If so, this diagnosis does not have to break the bank, but check on your coverage.

I, like your wife had dealt with depression a lot over the years and had been on Lexapro for the 2 years prior to being diagnosed with bipolar.  When I was finally diagnosed as bipolar and put on the correct meds I found out that...being bipolar and only being on an antidepressant basically made my mania worse for those 2 years.  So the correct diagnosis and medication is very important.  I wish you look as you begin this journey.


"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending" ~ Maria Robinson


serafena
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Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 12/15/2008 8:31 AM (GMT -7)   
It sounds like you have a better handle on your disorder, Rocky, than your wife does, and I think there's a little bit of danger in diagnosing yourselves. At least fund the diagnosis part and find out what would be involved in the treatment. There are options for ongoing care if you don't have insurance. We can help you a bit there. Many of us have been there.

serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II


loving frustrated wife
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Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 865
   Posted 12/15/2008 8:44 PM (GMT -7)   
Rocky, I only have a moment to share with you that your honesty with yourself can only be viewed as a positive. Now with that said, here is my best advise for you (BTW, I am the wife and mother to BP's and my H got dx'ed after my son when HE got honest about the similarities while our S was being dx'ed). Okay...the BEST thing you can do for yourself is find the BEST pdoc you can who is experienced with complex cases of BP. Seek university professors who are still working pdoc’s as well. If you ask around, you will hear a variety of names...eventually the same one will come up again and again. Call the mental health hospitals in your area and ask them their input of the best ones for complex cases with the most consistent positive outcomes in long term care. Then, at the same time, make 2 eval appointments and start together. Get properly dx'ed with WHATEVER it is for each of you. Begin with agreements about how you will support each other on your journey, but that it is one that EACH of you must also walk for yourself. If you lay out good guidelines with each other, you have a better chance of succeeding. Yes, being married to a BP is possible, but cooperation is KEY. No secrets! Both being involved with each others wellness team. Ownership of ones own "stuff" (if you get my drift). Good luck to you both, it IS possible. Keep expectations realistic, keep forgiveness for yourself and each other present, and BREATHE. LFW

Rocky Hardplace
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 20
   Posted 12/15/2008 11:19 PM (GMT -7)   
Hello again. I have lost 3 separate replies that were almost complete today due to service on my iphone so I'm a little frustrated at the moment. But lovingfrustratedwife ,by ones own stuff what exactly do u mean?? I just took it a coupla ways and wanted to think on it as intended. And thank you so much for the moment you took!!! I have a lot I'd like say but I'm afraid I'll lose it again. That was perfect timing LFW because I was wondering where and how to start. This board is awesome!! Is there some sort of website where there's a list of bp specialists in specific states ?? Well I better go to bed. Thanks again everyone!! This is the beginning of a long journey I think...

loving frustrated wife
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Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 865
   Posted 12/16/2008 10:46 PM (GMT -7)   

Rocky, "Ones OWN stuff" is taking responsibility for one's own issues, choices, difficulties, etc.  As in, not making another person responsible for how you (a person) are feeling, behaving, reacting...etc.  Owning the "me, myself & I" of it all.  Sharing how one feels is fine, but blaming, making another responsible, taking a mood out on someone else and looking for ways to justify that as "okay"....is not.  Think of it this way, BP or not, other issue or not, each one of us is responsible for ourselves, how we communicate, respond, behave.  When we share how we are feeling...i.e."I am feeling really angry about xyz....", that is different than, "You really are pissing me off, you're making me angry".  Believe me when I share (I've been married to a BP for just shy of 17 years) when my H "owns" his own stuff, and is responsible about NOT blaming me as his moods shift around, I can remain patient and supportive back.  If he blames me, or "takes his mood out on me"...all I want to do is get away from him and not talk to him.  I, being a human being, have feelings too.  My feelings can get just as hurt as anyone’s.  Therefore, I as a spouse, count too. Make sense?  Therefore, if you and your wife are BOTH finding that you are going through stuff, and potentially going to be dx'ed with similar, or separate issues, you both have a road ahead of you that you EACH need to own and be responsible for.  You will weather it all easier, and more lovingly supportive of each other, if ground rules are in place (and adhered to), and you "own your own stuff".

As to finding a good pdoc...start by calling your family doc and ask who is the BEST pdoc he knows dealing with complex emotional issues that may involve BP.  Then call any friends, family or even therapists in your area and ask them the same question.  Then call the closest university with a strong pdoc MD program and ask THEM too.  Eventually, the same name will begin to pop up.  Call the psych centers and ask them.  Tell them you are seeking the best pdoc experienced in dealing with complex cases, with a focus on BP as part of the mix.  Then, call them and ask for a consult and interview them.  Ask them how many of thier cases are BP related, with other psych components.  When you find one you like, ask to be evaluated, and then whatever the dx is...begin treatment.  Get a support group, a good therapist, and be ULTRA consistent with any meds.  Work WITH your pdoc's as part of the same team, and make sure you stay in excellent communication with them.  You should see them consistently (weekly, bi-weekly, monthly...whatever is deemed appropriate by them) to start.  Once you are stable, it can be every 2 or 3 months.  But, you are creating a partnership for your wellness with them.  Not speaking up, both as the patient, or the spouse, works against a positive outcome.

Good luck to you.  LFW

 

 


Post Edited (loving frustrated wife) : 12/16/2008 10:51:32 PM (GMT-7)


Rocky Hardplace
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 20
   Posted 12/16/2008 11:09 PM (GMT -7)   
thanks LFW! I am dealing with being the cause of every thing that's not perfect or making her feel that way right now. This is going to be nearly impossible. I have never seen situations this irrational!! Misinterpretations and assumptions and so much negativity all at work and against me, Her #1 supporter. And I catch it all!!! And when she calms down and she can talk sensibly I still sense her apprehension and it's driving me insane...

Rocky Hardplace
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 20
   Posted 12/16/2008 11:22 PM (GMT -7)   
Her stuff is all mine at this particular moment so I can really see how owning someone elses is impossible to do for too long. Guess I have to put my stuff in storage. Is it possible for someone to rapid cycle like depressed during most of the day, then something triggers hypomania or mania, then just kinda fade into reality for a little while then still have depressive thoughts that restart the viscious cycle all over on a daily basis?? With fatigue a constant plague that 12 hrs of sleep won't even cure.

loving frustrated wife
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 865
   Posted 12/17/2008 9:03 AM (GMT -7)   
Rocky, Her stuff is HERS to own. Your stuff is YOURS. You can't OWN someone else’s stuff, you can be the whipping post for it, you can have it taken out on you, but you can't own it. Only they can...IF they are ready to be responsible. If they are not, create some space between you - perhaps she needs to sleep in the other room tonight type of thing - and YOU just get on with gaining your own wellness and YOU being responsible for your own "stuff". You can support her, you can love her, but you can not do this for her, and you do not have to "buy in" to the irrational stuff she is dishing out. Stay calm, stay as balanced as you can, and get on with taking care of your kids if you have them. Let her be responsible for the outcome. If she is cycling fast (mind do as well) take a deep breath and say you can talk to me, and I will listen, but if you yell at me, I won't. Then walk away if she doesn't pull herself together. Plus, I caution you to NOT dx here if you are not a professional. Just stay open to learning and observing all you can so when the pdoc asks you questions, you are not coming from any pre-assumed assumptions you have made that may or may not be correct. Let the pdoc figure it out. You will do her the best if you stay her H not her parent or doc. Make sense? LFW

Rocky Hardplace
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 20
   Posted 12/17/2008 6:06 PM (GMT -7)   
Hello .... All that makes lots of sense. It sounds so simple when I read it. But It seems like it's gonna be almost impossible to do. I feel I have to carry her through these times if I really love her. And I do! She acts like I am the source of all her pain. And she can be so convincing when she is in hate mode. Sometimes I think if I just disappear like I feel she wants me to she'll be happy , but I know better. Today was a pretty good day, so far. But I have to tiptoe around in fear of saying the wrong thing. This situation has me mentally and emotionally drained. It eats up all of our time when things are like they are lately. Things stay so chaotic that priorities seem to take the back seat. I avoid phone calls from friends and family because I feel so out of it all the time. My mind is never on what it needs to be and it is affecting everything. I have really been trying to not show weakness but that is so hard to do. I have never hurt so bad!! All of the things she says she feels I am doing to her I feel also cuz this affects both of our lives , but she sees it as I'm the cause of it and can't see that I feel just like she feels ... A prisoner! But I have been in prison before so I know I can handle it. And good always seems to come out of even the worst situations. I have never been in love till I met this special lady and this has shown me what love really means!! I will pick up the pieces that have been scattered and get through whatever is left. I know noone really wants to read about my problems but it feels good to write and put it out there. Thank u LFW for ur advice and time. Even the impossible is possible if it's done from the heart.

loving frustrated wife
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 865
   Posted 12/17/2008 9:35 PM (GMT -7)   
Rocky, exactly what you are describing is WHY I said let her own it. Go neutral on her during this time - DON"T make yourself more available for her to vent all over you. Get on with your own life. Take a break from her, which can be done even in the same house. If you have kids...focus on them and maintaining normalcy for their lives and shower them with love. If you need to explore your own "issues" do a lot of journaling and recording your own observations about yourself, get on with finding help for YOU. Leave her to her own company. Stay rational…one of you must. Take this time to be nice to YOURSELF. This is how you don't burn out. It IS exhausting. But, if you don't make yourself available for her spewing and blaming, but you respond only to rational kindness and respect, AND you get on with it for you....she won't want to be left behind. And if the goodies look good for you...she'll want some too. Do you understand? Loving someone does NOT mean we should allow them to vent all over us. Loving someone is not shown by allowing their illness to rule the roust and not insisting they be responsible for themselves and how they treat others. Loving someone does not mean isolating our lives from friends and family that we love. Find other ways to spend time with them. Arrange to go out to dinner (even if just to meet and visit for an hour at McDonalds). Go to a movie you want to see with a sibling or parent. Tell her to have a good night, where you are going, and if she needs you what time you'll be home. Say it kindly, no blame or malice. But, take the time to enjoy your life, and if she says she doesn't like that you are ignoring her, tell her (again nicely), "you’re sorry, but you don't like being treated badly by someone who is blaming you for everything and clearly doesn't want to spend quality time with you. You were leaving her alone because that is what her actions and words communicated she wanted from you right now." You are simply honoring her wishes. In the meantime you intend to focus on your life, wellness, future, and loved ones. If she wants you, as you love her very much, she just has to let you know by being kind....etc. There is no malice in this, but kind honesty. Make sense? Got to run, take it all one step at a time...LFW

Rocky Hardplace
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 20
   Posted 12/18/2008 6:24 AM (GMT -7)   
As I'm laying here in bed, I have all my thoughts to myself. Today was a good day... It started out kinda iffy, and a coupla times it couldve went either way, but it ended good without any hateful vibes. But I stay so tense that the only way I can seem to enjoy the"good days" is to recollect them later. That's not how I wanna enjoy the rest of the good ones but at least I didn't see the fire breathing dragon today. Today is the first day in a couple weeks that the cycle missed a lick. I hope it stays calm for a while. I have done a lot of thinking lately on where this could go, and I have been torn trying to come up with reasons to stay and keep things together when they're crashing down around us, or just give her the thing she acts like she needs. My absence! I always catch the blame for everything anyway and I have gotten used to being the bad guy to the point where I feel like I am just a source of her problems. Who knows where it will go from here??

Rocky Hardplace
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 20
   Posted 12/18/2008 6:29 AM (GMT -7)   
LFW, I can imagine what you've had to deal with in ur circumstance. And how many times you've felt like just giving up just as I have. But somehow managed to pull yourself together and make it work regardless of the ridiculous nature of what causes so much strife with mood disorders. There is so much wisdom in your replies and not just knowledge. I respect every word I have read that you wrote. It gives me comfort to know that it is possible for life to go on in this situation. At first it felt extremely impossible to deal with but just visiting this board and getting input from those who have been dealt this hand but refused to fold gives me that extra little something I need. I will take what's left of my reserve and use it to get my stuff back in order and hopefully our stuff will still be there. I want you to know that the time u spend at your computer is not just wasted.People are put places for a reason and one persons strength and perseverance can be used as a model to create the same for others. I don't know where things are going from here but I know there's hope . And I'll have some of that!!!

Rocky Hardplace
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 20
   Posted 12/18/2008 7:16 AM (GMT -7)   
sorry for the double posts!

Rocky Hardplace
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 20
   Posted 12/18/2008 4:54 PM (GMT -7)   
Hope is so hard to have when u don't feel loved ! Is that a side effect of this illness or is her true feelings just coming out a little more with each new episode?? She has told me she is sorry for causing me so much pain and can't imagine life without me but then the next time she gets upset, once again I am the problem. I know that sometimes she can't control this but isn't there a moment when she feels it coming on that she could remind herself that she loves me enough to not get so hateful?? And is it possible for her during those hateful times to only hate me but talk and smile to everyone else ?? Or is that the answer to my questioning of her true feelings?? I really wanna believe that she does but when she's "normal" she's still distant. I am losing a battle that I can't even fight! The only thing left is to not say anything about what I feel or need. 80% of the time that's what causes It to escalate out of control. She has a problem with communication and immediately gets unreasonable when I try to talk. Then it's all my fault for wanting normal communication that a marriage can't survive without. To her I'm starting a fight when all I want is for to listen to what I'm saying and respond to me. But it just keeps going and going till In her eyes I am the devil himself... And all I want is to feel the love she used to show me. Maybe she is just not feeling me like she used to. If this is just a common side effect there may be hope left for me. If not I won't be the punching bag anymore! I just don't know where I really stand anymore... And I would do anything to have my wife back. This is starting to make me numb. And that's exactly what I need to get on with my life!

Rocky Hardplace
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 20
   Posted 12/18/2008 9:46 PM (GMT -7)   
well I thought I was doing the right thing by educating myself and trying to get support from those who have dealt with this but I have wasted my time here for someone who doesn't and apparently can't have the capability for love. This is an evil disease that steals happiness and points fingers. It has ruined my marriage that seemed so promising at one point. The devil has to be behind the bipolar mask and he loves to see the destruction it causes, the confusion it creates and the aftermath it leaves behind, taking love and turning it to hate. Taking happiness and making it into every kind of sadness there is. I have personally watched it turn a loving Godlike woman into an insensitive and hateful human being. I have never witnesses such a transformation cuz she was once full of love. I have tried to bring her back many times but she can't see past her assumptions that have taken over her thoughts. She will always be a source of my pain becuz I will always love the woman she used to be. This affliction has made me understand that when it comes to some things , love just isn't enough. I don't know if she'll ever get past this or even try but I know that she has taken someone out of her life that would have walked through hell for her if only to hear her say... I loved you ! Thanks for the advice and time. Sorry it was in vain!!! This cancer of sanity and relationships is too much for some people to survive. I hope things turn out better for those who may read this but it ended in hell for me. But it's still my fault so I can't complain! I lose .....

loving frustrated wife
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Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 865
   Posted 12/18/2008 10:05 PM (GMT -7)   
Rocky, thanks for the kind words. I am going to recap for you what I understand of your situation...Your wife is experiencing some kind of emotional disturbance you "think" after researching is BP as there is a family history on her side. In the process of investigating what could be going on with your wife, you realize that so much of this fits you as well; it’s likely you may also be suffering from some kind of disorder as well. Neither of you has seen a pdoc, been officially dx'ed with anything, but by what you can see....you think it all is a variety of BP type conditions. You feel if it is BP for your wife (or some derivative) she is also a rapid cycler. Do I have this part correct?
I ask because, right now you are struggling to make decisions that IMO should probably not even be looked at yet. First needs to be finding you both an excellent pdoc that is excellent with complex cases. But instead, you seem somewhat hyper focused on your wife - her mood, her treatment of you, how SHE is making you feel...etc. I am not saying this as ANY kind of criticism, just observation. If you can ….imagine this scenario, try it on and see how it feels.....

Your wife is swinging from somewhat nice to neutral to mean and back again....You stop requesting of her to be the woman she use to be for you (as right now she can't), you accept this with compassion....you stop focusing on her and leave her alone (no deep talks, no expectations for the moment, you take care of you, and let her take care of her for a bit)....You spend your time seeking a good pdoc for you both, visiting here, having dinner with family or friends....watch some funny movies, focus on work and making your career the best it can be, catch up on paperwork…etc.....You go to the movies with some good guy friends (a good testosterone rush...a comedy...etc.)...you come home and say Hi...your greeted with not much....you smile and say "boy I'm tired...I'm heading to bed...night sweetie".....and you realize you are okay. Not perfect...but making progress. Then finally, you find a GREAT pdoc...you make some appointments for you both....you come home and share with your wife that you did this and that you are having yourself evaluated as well....she agrees to go or not....you stay committed for yourself and go....You get a proper dx for yourself, if medication is required you find the right blend in time (not an easy process but you stick with it…maybe join a support group, get a good therapist…etc.) and POOF, life inside you feels stable, your own feelings begin to feel trustworthy. You are READY to evaluate your life with your wife. You start asking hard questions of yourself as to what kind of life you want for you, and if she has joined you on this journey and together you have both stabilized you find answers come easier as to - if staying together is right for you both. But if she has not joined you on this journey, has not stabilized, you are ready to decide if this is the life you want for you. You are ready to trust how you are feeling and whether you want to stay or go. You are ready to put up boundaries, support her towards wellness, as her husband, or just her friend (because love can exist both ways).

The key here is where YOUR focus is...ON YOU! If you stand in one place and move your feet .25 degrees to the right...suddenly while standing in the same place you have a different vantage point. That is what I believe you need to do right now. If a person stands there and gets emotionally hit, it is going to hurt. But if you turn and focus elsewhere, your needs change and therefore so do your reactions....this in of itself creates space. Remember, you can not change anyone in life but yourself....but by changing yourself creates space for others to change. It is like the serenity prayer: God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change (this means anything outside yourself), the courage to change the things I can (everything within yourself - the only true thing under your control), and the wisdom to know the difference. Focus on you right now. Focus on work, focus on things that make you happy that YOU can do for you. If you need to talk and your wife is not available for you...call a friend, call someone in your family you are close to. Don't expect HER to be what currently she is not. An adjustment to expectations goes along way to keeping perspective during all the changes ahead for you....and that is meant positive not negative. I am thinking good thoughts to your progress here....LFW

Rocky Hardplace
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 20
   Posted 12/19/2008 2:33 AM (GMT -7)   
I will do whatever it takes to get her back !! That's what I've been trying to do all along but in the wrong way. I felt disconnections from her from the beginning and not understanding what was causing them , I eventually let them build insecurities in my mind that I felt in my heart also. This made me wonder why: was she having 2nd thoughts? Was she hiding from something? Is she cheating? I had no idea why she would get so distant and it really bothered me. All I wanted was love. The same kind I gave. It started a cycle of constant heated battles that were never won by either side. I was always seeking her approval by buying her nice things, doing things for her , and her kids. Spending time with her, always telling her how beautiful she was or how much I love her. And we've had the best times of either of our lives together. But the way she would unplug from me bothered me bad. I would ask her what was wrong. Nothing. I wanted to know why she was different but when I'd approach her to talk about us I'd hit a brick wall and that would start wars. Some bad ones with lots of hasty mistakes. But we would always reconnect. Well it was somewhat of a relief to realize she was suffering from some type of mood disorder. But the damage was already done from months of her withdrawals and my insecurities they caused. It seems the straw has finally broken the camels back. And right when we realize something could be done. And Christmas. She has left and doesn't wanna talk .as bad as I felt I couldn't make myself leave bcuz I love her but she is the one who's gone now. What has started as wrong feelings and lack communication has made her not love me anymore. And that is so hard to swallow amidst the bigger picture. I never meant to push her away. I was trying to get closer. But it doesn't matter anymore. It was so unfair that we went from being happier than ever to certain separation it seems. All really for nothing except what I felt was neglect which made me frustrated an hurt which created insecurity that ruined everything. she won't take my calls or respond to my painful texts. I wish she were right here because I would try and show her why things have been so hectic for us. Then I would just lean over kiss her cheek and whisper something in her ear and start our new road together! And if I could only say one word it would be.....

............KANGAROO!!!

Rocky Hardplace
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 20
   Posted 12/19/2008 3:11 AM (GMT -7)   
that word had a special meaning to us. It meant new beginnings to both of us... It was also a surrender of love and desparation. It is a word that I will always keep in my broken heart. ......Forever!!!


I found comfort in this forum if not only to get things off my chest. I know a million people don't care how a love story ends. Or care that it ever was. But a million people now know that I LOVE CHERYL!!! My beautiful and sexy wife... God bless y'all !!! !!!

loving frustrated wife
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 865
   Posted 12/19/2008 8:38 AM (GMT -7)   
Rocky, I am sorry for your loss. Now it is time to let go and get well for YOU. Now is the time to reconnect with YOU. Now is the time to seek answers about YOUR wellness. Now is the time to look forward and help make your life everything you would like it to be for YOU. Get the theme? I hope you learn to disconnect from her, and focus on you, and you find the pdoc you need to discover if there is an issue for yourself as you shared, and then gain the help you need. My best wishes for you. LFW

serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 12/19/2008 1:29 PM (GMT -7)   
Rocky,

I'm so sorry. This is terrible. It may be too late for her, but it's not too late for yourself. Get yourself into a doctor and to a therapist and get yourself the support you so desperately need right now. Try and figure out how this happened. Don't lay everything at the feet of a disease you weren't even sure she had. Get to the healing, and remember that none of us ever know how things are going to turn out.

I wish you all the best,
please keep us updated,
serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II

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