My wife was diagnosed bipolar back in 2004, after the birth of our second child. She went through a bad time and had to get ECTs in the end. That seemed to help for awhile, but nowadays things are spiraling down again. She "manages" it without meds on her own. That obviously doesn't work well, she has a lot of lows, but she masks it from me a lot. She stays in her head and is very removed from our life sometimes and others she's right there.
Our kids..she loves them so much. She is right there for them almost all of the time. I can't complain about that.
but our marriage...its been bad. I don't deal well with her being mentally ill. I want to help her..to fix her..and even though I know I can't, it doesn't make it any easier. Its caused a huge strain on things between us for many, many years...and I don't know how to "deal" with all of this. I feel like a huge jerk. I know I should be there for her, but its really hard. I don't know what to do and I don't handle it well. Its just not fair, during our good times, things are perfect..just wonderful. We can never have any money, or a house or really any dreams to speak of on a larger scale.
I have tried to leave her many times, but can't..because I love her. But I don't know what to do. I want to be happy in this but its hard when she is unhappy most of the time. Not with us, but with everything because of her mental state. I tend to retreat into my own head, because I feel so alone. I'm very conflicted. There is one half of me that feels so badly for her having to be like this and the other that resents her so deeply for it.
HELP! Any advice or insight is appreciated.
Post Edited (Omadad) : 12/16/2008 10:10:14 AM (GMT-7)
Post Edited By Moderator (serafena) : 12/22/2008 1:50:29 PM (GMT-7)