Thoughts of suicide

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maggiern
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 223
   Posted 12/26/2008 5:30 PM (GMT -7)   
Last night when I was trying to sleep all I could think of was wanting to hurt myself. I did not do it but the thoughts are getting a little more intense. I keep thinking it is just a thought and I am not going to do it, because I try and rationalize my thoughts. I had a counsler say to me that it is only a thought and to try and keep it just that. Has anyone thought that and got through it without any adverse actions. I really do not know why I am feeling this way, but I some times think that I can always kill myself if things in my life get too complicated where I can not stop the bad luck. Please let me know if anyone ever feels this way and idea on how to stop it. I can't put my finger on what precipitated it.
 
Maggiern,
I had to edit your post to keep it in line with Rule #1.  Sorry, serafena.
1. No discussion of any illegal activity or threats of violence. (ie. illicit drug use, including medical marijuana use, threats of suicide or self-injury, or threatened or intended physical harm).  Discussions of suicide or self-harm that are deemed negative and therefore potentially injurious to others are also not permitted.
 

Post Edited By Moderator (serafena) : 12/26/2008 11:16:27 PM (GMT-7)


Sharann
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 778
   Posted 12/26/2008 5:40 PM (GMT -7)   

I think you need to get more help. I have had similar thoughts but I know when I am fantasizing if you will and when not. IF you need to be in a safer place please call someone. Do you have a psychiatrist or just a councelor? Maybe your meds need changing.

Sorry you feel this bad, it does pass in my experience but we are all different.


I am a Certified Doxie Lover(Weinerdogs)


mommy.michele
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 369
   Posted 12/26/2008 10:21 PM (GMT -7)   
maggiern...I hope you contacted your dr. today.  I think if you are having suicidal thoughts your meds might need to be adjusted or changed.  Do you have a pdoc or a therapist?

"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending" ~ Maria Robinson


serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 12/26/2008 11:20 PM (GMT -7)   
Maggiern,

Please do as Mommy.michele has suggested and call your doc immediately. This really tells me you need your meds adjusted and you're not doing well. It's best to take care of this now before it is more than just a thought, and develops into something worse. I'd hate to see you end up in the hospital.

If you get desperate, though, please call a crisis hotline or come here for some reality checks. Here's a couple numbers:

National Suicide Hotline
1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433)
This is a combined network of the Amerian Association of Suicidology, the National Hopeline Network, CONTACT USA, and many other organizations. Call are automatically routed to the nearest crisis center to the phone from which the call for help is placed.

Helpful Web Sites:
Suicide Hotlines (listed by state)
Suicidal.com (includes Suicide Crisis Center and Depression and Suicide

Best of luck, and hugs,
serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II


tyno3
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 1081
   Posted 12/27/2008 10:52 AM (GMT -7)   
Maigiern; i am sorry you're in a dark place where you   feel impotent to affect the direction your life has taken you. many of us have been there. I always think of the people who are in my life, the ones I see daily (almost) and those that  are out there who would be deeply devastated, should harm befall me. It's actually a pretty selfish way to view the world. If your feeling are coming from not feeling "good enough"Take your behind to the closest foodbank and help out. Even if you're not 100% mobile, at least call someone to talk to. Think of others, get the focus off of you. Hang with us, rules or not, just keep posting.
Hypothyroidism, Fibromyalgia, Facet Joint Syndrome, High Blood Pressure, menopause, Migraines, Chest Pain, Anxiety and Depression/BiPolar II
Synthyroid .075mg., estradiol.5 mgs., Amyltriptilene, 100mgs, bedtime, Tylenol 3 PRN (six-eight, daily), Valium 7.5mgs. daily prn. Flexeril, prn (not so helpful), Zoloft,150mgs., Zomig approx. 12 per month, prn., Meds for High Blood Pressure, vary.


serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 12/27/2008 4:07 PM (GMT -7)   
Maggiern,

How are you doing today?

serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II


maggiern
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 223
   Posted 12/28/2008 11:14 AM (GMT -7)   
I seem a little better today.  Talked to my husband about my perging lately and also told about my suicidal thoughts.  He is staying close to me and helping me through my thoughts.  It is funny because sometimes I feel as if he does not understand, but sometimes he supprises me and is my support.  Thank you all for you words of help.  I am going to call my doctor Monday since it was the holiday weekend.  I will try and keep positive and work towards not hurting myself.

mogli
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1191
   Posted 12/28/2008 2:57 PM (GMT -7)   

Dear Maggiern,

I am glad to hear you are feeling a little better and that you plan to contact your doctor tomorrow--it's very important that you do.

I can relate to this way of thinking.  I reached a point in my illness where now the thoughts of suicide are only thoughts for me.  Basically I mostly just have the overwhelming feeling that I want to give up.  But I never want to do anything, just the thoughts of hopelessness are there.  It's a terrible, terrible feeling.  Who knows what brought all of this on...have you been depressed lately?  Anyway, focus on healing and feel better.  You are in my thoughts.


Mogs
 
Bipolar II, Anxiety/Panic Disorder
Clonazepam .5mg as needed, Risperdal .5mg/day & Lamictal 250 mg/day


serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 12/28/2008 7:08 PM (GMT -7)   
Maggiern,

I'm glad the relentless thoughts let up a little, but please do contact your doc tomorrow. I have totally been there. I know they seem like just thoughts but they're poison thoughts and it's a sign you need a medical intervention -- not that you necessarily need to go to the hospital or that you're crazy or anything like that.

I'm thinking of you.
Take care,
serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II


Precious Gem
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1139
   Posted 12/29/2008 1:56 PM (GMT -7)   
Maggiern,
 
I hope you are feeling better.  I have those thoughts sometimes as well.  Not that I would act on them, I am a chicken, but living with this dis-ease is so mentally and physcially exhausting that sometimes you just feel like you have no fight left in you.  Do not give up the good fight !  As was stated earlier, it will pass and who knows, maybe there is a cure for us just around the corner, maybe it would take someone that goes through what BP people do to be the very one to find a cure.  I will never give up hope and I hope you don't either!
 
BP Gemini
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