Sorry to hear about your situation, been there. She actually did leave one time, went to a hotel, after I kept calling her continually she came back a few hours later, didn't even stay the night there. Hopefully things will turn around for you guys, If you haven't tried it yet, suggest going to couples therapy together, maybe that will get your foot in the door & the counselor will suggest solo therapy for her, and it will definatly help the both of you. I know it sounds manipulative, but this desease doesn't play fair. I understand how you feel when you say she turns things on you. My wife knows how to push buttons like you wouldn't believe, then when you get past your boiling point, pull the ol switcharoo & turn calm & collective, then you are the one out of control & the one that has a problem. We had a counselor tell us that we need a warning sign, like saying "yellow light" when you recognize things escalating. Tried that a couple of times, guess what happens at a yellow light, yep she mashes the gas. So much for that theory.
Anyway thanks for the reply & again hopefully things will turn back around. Maybe the time by her self will make her see how much you do & care for her & she will come back.
Happy new year to all.