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pinkgirl82
New Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 8
   Posted 1/2/2009 1:49 PM (GMT -7)   
  I am a 26 year old woman with bipolar disorder.  I was finally diagnosed a year ago, which although scary, it was comforting to have some explanation to all of the ups and downs I have had since I was a teen.  I have been on antidepressants since I was 18 but had never seen a psychiatrist until last year when I was diagnosed.  Over the years, I have tried what seems like pretty much every antidepressant out there, most with little or no success, until I found Effexor XR.  I have been taking it now for over three years and it has been the best for me.  However, I was still having drastic mood swings until I saw the psyc who not only increased my dose of Effexor, but added seroqeul as a mood stabalizer.  This was like a miracle drug.  I began to feel better than I had in as long as I could remember, but this medicine is very expensive.  So a few months ago, I decided that I was all better and stopped taking it in order to save money.  This was of course a mistake as my syptmoms quickly returned and were sometimes worse than ever.  This was especially bad because I rapid cycle.  So a month or so ago, I decided maybe I wasn't all better.  I began taking the Seroquel again, but still had the problem of the cost.  So yesterday I discussed this with my dr and he changed my primary medicine to Depakote which is much less costly.  I still am able to take the Seroquel in a lower dose as needed for anxiety and panic attacks.  I have yet to take my first dose of Depakote and am a little nervous, as I always am when I start a new med.
  Until recently, I have never educated myself much on bipolar disorder.  I have found though, the more I learn, the better I am at dealing with my mood swings.  I have the dillema of trying to educate my husband on the disorder.  I know he sometimes gets fed up with me and my ever changing mood.  I am beginning to become more stable now that I have been taking the Seroquel again, but its only been a month since I got back on it, and now I'm changing meds and I'm afraid of if I will go through another destabalization period.  I really think he and I would both benefit from his gaining understanding on what I'm going  through, but I'm not sure how to go about educating him.  Although he is a wonderful, loving husband and father, he is not always exactly receptive to things of that nature.  I've tried printing stuff out for him but he never read it.  I've tried to explain littlle things here and there, but I get the feeling it's just not something he wants to talk about.  If anyone could give me any advice it would be greatly appreciated.

falling apart
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 61
   Posted 1/2/2009 8:31 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Pinkgirl! Welcome. I am pretty new here as well.

I applaud your attitude toward what you are dealing with!!!! In fact, I am amazed by it. I think it is important that you keep up your attempts to educate your husband. I wish I knew 5 years ago what I know now........and now it may be too late. I can't help feel that if I had the tools I needed to better unsderstand what my husband was going through earlier on, I could have handled things better. We were both in denial.

Just remember, his resistance to your attempts to give him information may be out of fear, not lack of concern. It is hard to accept/face that your spouse is dealing with something that can be very difficult and painful. I know I was terrified when my husband had his first major episode.

I am not an expert, but it sounds like you are doing the right thing. You sound like a very mature, bright 26-year-old........I wish you and your family the very best! With your great attitude, I am sure your treatment will be very successful. Best of luck! Take Care!

serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 1/2/2009 9:11 PM (GMT -7)   
Pinkgirl82,

Hi and welcome to HealingWell. It's good of you to join us.

You might invite your husband to come to one of your psychiatrist appt's with you. He might be interested enough to listen to the doc explain why he/she is asking the questions they ask and why they're making the med adjustments they make.

Try asking him what about your disorder puzzles him the most and answer those things first. Go by what his needs are and work from there. But he certainly wouldn't be the first spouse to be resistant to learning about the disorder, if he doesn't show any interest. If that's the case, I'm really sorry.

A great book is "The Bipolar Disorder Survival Guide" by David Miklowitz. It's for sufferers and their families. Both of you could really benefit from checking it out. You first, obviously since he's resisting.

Another thing I wanted to throw out there is that you should think about therapy for yourself. It's really crucial to have support while you're working to stay stable. If your husband can't do it, someone else can. I couldn't do it without my therapist (and I have a great husband.)

Hang in there! Best of luck,
serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II


mommy.michele
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 369
   Posted 1/2/2009 10:59 PM (GMT -7)   

Welcome Pinkgirl82...You sound a lot like me when I first joined the board.  My husband also seemed to not be that receptive to learning more about bipolar.  He did go with me to about my first 6 therapy sessions.  But I think it was more to be able to make sure I was telling the truth while there, honestly.  I also printed out alot of different things for him to read, or emailed him links.  He said he read them, but sometimes in arguments he has said things to me that told me that he must not have really read anything because he still acted like he knew nothing about bipolar.

So I finally gave up on educating him and concentrated non myself.  Which you should do too.  I hope you have some sort of therapy.  It was a lifesaver for me when ai didn't have that supportive spounce to vent to.


"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending" ~ Maria Robinson


pinkgirl82
New Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 8
   Posted 1/6/2009 4:22 PM (GMT -7)   

  Thank you so much for the replies and words of encouragement!  I cannot describe how great it feels to have a place like this in my life now.  Although my family and friends are great and supportive, they just do not understand the things I go through, and I don't expect them to having never been through what this disorder puts you through.  My husband does seem to be becomming more receptive, which is so great.  I am starting to see some differences in his behavior and the way he reacts to my mood swings.  I know that the more I learn the more I can teach him and the better we both will be. 

  Although I haven't read the survival guide you spoke of, I did pick up two books the other day.  One was Bipolar Disorder for Dummies (I couldn't help but laugh!) and the other was Loving Someone With Bipolar Disorder. I bought this one for my husband , knowing full well that he wouldn't read it since he is not much of a reader.  However, I have been reading it myself and I have found it interesting to gain perspective on what HE may be feeling.  There are a lot of great tips in this book and the information I have gathered from it so far has been a great start to some really good conversations with my husband.  The effort he is making has really shown me that maybe he is just afraid, confused, and unsure where to begin and what to do.  In past episodes, I have accused him so many times of just not caring, but I know that is not the case.

 


serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 1/6/2009 7:22 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm so glad to hear you're finding some useful resources. I haven't read "Loving Someone" but I recommend it a lot, because I hear it's useful. I'll keep my fingers crossed that things keep improving!

Please, keep us up to date, and feel free to ask anything.

serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II

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