Thank you Serafena and Rocketman! That is some of the insight I was looking for!
Serafena, if I understand you correctly (knowing that you are not a doctor and that everyone is different), is it safe to assume that if there is no change made to his medication, his manic state will likely worsen or, at best, stay the same, but will not go away?
If that is what is to be expected, then it would be impossible for us to live under the same roof until something changes. Even if I channeled Mother Theresa and mustered up every single ounce of compassion I could, I can't take the verbal lashings any more. The kids cannot witness/be subjected to his behaviors any longer either.
If he continues his "I am fine" routine to the new psychiatrist, and the psych doesn't see through it, I don't know what will happen. And since we are separated right now, I seriously doubt he will allow me to participate in his treatment. But, it won't hurt to ask........
As far as the outcome I am hoping for.........of course I want it ALL!!
I want him stabilized and back in our life (mine and the kids). I know that may lead to more of the same later on, but I do love him and with the proper tools (the right meds, counseling, support groups, knowledge) I think we could keep it together. We have been married for 13 years!!! That is a huge investment to just let go.
It's a lot to consider.........One step at a time! I am anxious to see what Tuesday brings.
Just remember, he has to "want" it also. I had to hit rock bottom to realize i had issues. LOL and i really "want" to be better. However i ask if i am doing better, and take critisim lightly when i fall short. However my wife is learning that i wont "get over this" and that all i can do is my best and hope for the best.
It will take two to face this, and if he isnt on board, than there is little or no hope for your marriage. The ball is in his court, he has to want it, and in the absence of that than you have to protect yourself and kids first.
Hope this helps. Good luck. Bill
I am so sorry for this new turn your relationship has taken. I really don't know what to say. With my wife and I we have always held fast & agreed that there are 2 dealbreakers in our relationship. Cheating & substance abuse. With him being in the state he is in, & what you are saying, he is using the fact that you guys are seperated to justify his behavior. I haven't been in this particular situation, but close. Last year my wife had it in her head that I was cheating on her. She had it so much in her head that she had an online "affair" with an old friend. Nothing really major, just some pretty raw talking back and forth, & sending him some pictures (from the neck down) of her in tight T-shirts. That is all that really materialized from it, but if he wasn't 60 miles away, who knows what would have happened. She didn't really cross the line, but she sure was on it. She knows she was wrong & has very little contact with him now, as he knows she got caught & she knows I don't approve of their frindship. I'm not going to tell her who her friends can be, but at the same time, she has realized how she would have felt if things were reversed. Anyway, my point was, for the longest time she justified this by saying that she thought I was cheating on her(I wasn't). You know what your situation is better than anyone else, but If he gets by with this, then it will happen again. I wish nothing but the best for you and your kids in dealing with all this & you have some really tough choices ahead of you. Just remember that we are always here.