WOW! I just arrived home to check to see if I had any responses and I am so thankful! Although I never wish anyone suffering of course, but it is so comforting to see I am definetely NOT alone! Because sometimes it really feels like it, ya know?
I have to leave again for a little while, when I come home I'll re-read everyone's comments and have more to say...please check back soon, it helps to keep the communication and support going...maybe we can all take away something which will help us...or better yet, maybe we can give strength to eachother!
One thing I've noticed - everyone on here deeply loves their BP spouse. For me the question is: When does it become unhealthy mentally and spiritually to keep fighting for the marriage when the hurt continues? I feel like I'm on a swing, I mean - one minute I want to jump in with both feet and keep trying to make it work, and the next I'm questioning everything, feeling horribly, dreaming about having a predictable husband who doesn't mistreat me, and ready to walk out! It's like I can't live with him and don't want to imagine living without him.
I am going to see my old therapist tomorrow (have to drive a bit to see him but it's well worth it), because after my 2nd session with a new therapist today, I realized she is not a strong enough counselor to really help me. I think it takes an experienced and very assertive counselor to help with some of these major issues. Unfortunately, sometimes it takes a while to find the right one.
Peace & hugs to you all, more later -
I can tell you with me, sometimes it is easy to let things roll off, & sometimes not so much. With my wife, rarely does she express any remorse or regret for saying the things she does, if anything she tries to reinforce it. She doesn't just cross berriers that you try to establish, she busts through them at full speed. I don't understand why this is, like I've said before, sometimes she is like dealing with a 12 year old girl, you know, around that age when they get that attitude for a few years. I totally understand how you feel when you are tempted to just walk away, but you don't. I don't know how many times I have wanated to just get in the car & end up where I end up, but I don't. I know for me I tell myself how much I do love her, that I have made a commitment to her & that she needs me (even though she thinks she doesn't), and she is lucky to have me by her side with this. I know that sounds smug, but I can't imagine anyone else putting up with all this. Although obviously there are plenty of others (like you guys) that do.
Best wishes to all, hopefully today will be one of those "good days" for all of us!
WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! do i stay??????????? tell me what makes me stay????????