Can someone help me?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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hurtandconfused
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 1/6/2009 7:53 PM (GMT -7)   
     Hello, I started on this website a few weeks ago. I am trying to make sense of everything that has been going on. On November 4th of 2008 my husband and I separated because I accused him of cheating. He asked me if I wanted him to leave and I said yes. Of course there were a few things that brought me to this conclusion. He went out bowling with a 19 yr old from work (he is 24) and did not tell me. I knew she liked him. Anyways, my friend texted me and told me he was there with her. I went psycho and called him and screamed at him. Well, he didnt come home until 6a and told me he was sleeping in his car in his mom's driveway. Then when he came home he told me I told him that if he ever cheated I would cut of his b****. Well, I found out he was calling her and she was calling him and to be honest it drove me absolutely crazy. Then 4 days after we separated he finally told his mom that we had separated and he was crying, but then 10 min later he was joking with his brother in law. Then the next day he came back to our house and we were supposed to talk things out. Well, he told me he loved me, but not in love with me anymore. And that we were going to have to do the whole dating thing again. Well, that lasted for 3 weeks before it stopped. Then on New Year's Day in text message form because he will not talk on the phone I told him I did not know how to act or what to say around him anymore. Then he decided we were going to get a divorce and that we could be friends. However, he stopped talking to everyone including his mom and sister. Well, on monday everything hit the fan and his mom and sister had him committed into a psych hospital because on Thursday he threatened to hit me. And that is not like him. He also accused me of him making $50,000 this year and he has nothing to show for it. Also, he wanted one thing and I did not give him a baby and he jumped through hoops and also we fight all the time and we don't live together. Well, on Monday when he was talking to the social worker at the hospital he told them that he spent so much money on me for Christmas because he loved me and then he told them it was because I wanted it. Also, he said I would never trust him and he wasn't willing to go through everything again. He also told his mom and sister that he would never talk to them again if they didn't take him home right now. Then his sister and I also found out that he told his friend that he is staying with that he was a marine and he told his sister and I that he was stuck in traffic on New Year's Eve when in fact he was not. Please help me to make sense of everything. He is currently admitted to the hospital and has not been on his meds for 2 years. His family is blaming me of course because of everything. I need some advice please. I still love my husband and I know he is not himself.

serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 1/6/2009 8:05 PM (GMT -7)   
I forget, HurtandConfused, has your husband been diagnosed already? You said he hasn't taken meds in 2 years. Was he on meds before?

Unless he is a threat, he will be out in a day or so, won't he?

serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II


hurtandconfused
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 1/6/2009 8:45 PM (GMT -7)   
 he has been diagnosed since he was 16 yrs old. He was on meds previously, but quit taking them because he was feeling better. Duh that should have been a clue to me. It is court ordered that he has to stay in the hospital until he starts taking his meds because he is a danger to himself and possibly to others. I just don't know what to think. His mom and sister had him committed and now they blame me and it is not like I wanted this to happen.

4support
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 76
   Posted 1/6/2009 9:35 PM (GMT -7)   
Dear hurt and confused,

I'm also wondering if he had previously been diagnosed as Bipolar? If so, not being on the medications that he really needs to stay well would explain the out of character and irrational behaviour. I am married to a BP husband and I keep hearing everyone tell me not to listen to the things he says when he is not doing well, that it's the illness talking. It's the most difficult thing to do, but it may help you to know that.

I am very sorry to hear you are going thru such a rough time with him, and I can understand your emotional pain and sadness and confusion.

What is the likelihood that he will get back on his medications? Are his mother and sister not educated about this illness? I am curious because they are blaming you for everything, unless he is giving them that information.

One of the reasons this board is so amazingly comforting and helpful is because I truly don't think anyone I would choose to talk to about what we go thru (married to BP spouses) would understand, unless they were in that situation. Here, we can all talk objectively back and forth and help eachother understand, and in turn support one another. I have tried talking with my MIL because she is more like a neutral party, she cares about both of us, and she knows about her son's illness, and she knows how much I love her son. Although she means well, she still doesn't get it, she understand the illness, how it affects her son, or how it affects his family. All she ever says to me is..."well I just don't understand it, he was always such a sweet little boy"...geez.

Keep hope that the hospital stay may help your husband get back on track.

Hugs,

4support
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