I really, and i mean REALY apreciate your support. I sadly failed my resistance to SI today. its so wierd to me almost hitting 30 yeas old and still doing this...most peole think of teenagers hurting themselves. I dont knw how to expalin it to someone who does not understand the pain I as a BI goes through; I know my pain is nothing special i jsut go about
it in aother way. the Dr. at the clinic i went last week who recomended i got to the councelor was very worried about
the condition i'm in and said i need to get on SSID (i dont blame him, i have been doing alot of reserch into mental health clinics in my area to for help and boy...i never relized how dibilitating my situation was). i can at least say that even in my darkest moment, i know and wait for the light to come trhough.
when i was a teenager i tried to commit suiced, i havn't tried sice; i dont think i want to try again. and now as an adult...even if i feel like i want to die, ithink of my husband. i don't want tha tfor him....ever; so i don't think about
I've been keeping a diary and completing a mood chart for each day to try and help with my diagnosis, support or whatver;even picutres if they need it. I live in terror of beign put into an inpatien facility, my blood pressure was so high when i saw the dr he almost wanted me on pills. i've been on paxil for a few years now; i'll give the another week but they dont seem to be helping at all. i fnothing improves by next week ill chek for other options; i know i can't go on like this. but :) none the less!
(Hi inertia -- I edited your post to bring it in line with Forum Rule #1: No discussion of any illegal activity or threats of violence. (ie. illicit drug use, including medical marijuana use, threats of suicide or self-injury, or threatened or intended physical harm). Discussions of suicide or self-harm that are deemed negative and therefore potentially injurious to others are also not permitted. --Thanks, serafena)
Post Edited By Moderator (serafena) : 1/8/2009 8:58:33 AM (GMT-7)