I am so happy that I found this forum!

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hexe63
New Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 1/8/2009 6:10 AM (GMT -7)   
I have been married to a BP man for almost 3 years. I literally walk on eggshells in my own home, I never know from one day to the next what mood he is going to be in. Some days he will admit that he has a problem and wants to seek help, other days he says its "me" who has the problem and there is nothing wrong with him. When he is having a good day, it is so hard to believe him when he says he loves me, especially when he says such horrible, hurtful, spiteful things to me on other days. And although I do feel very bad for the other men and women on this forum who are going through what I am going through - I also feel some comfort in knowing that I am not alone.

Mackem
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 84
   Posted 1/8/2009 7:41 AM (GMT -7)   
Youre definitely not alone! Welcome to the forum! There are some lovely and supportive people on here! Anytime you need to talk there will gnerally always be someone around!! Mackem

Rocketman
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 156
   Posted 1/8/2009 7:46 AM (GMT -7)   

Welome aboard hex,

I hope you will find this forum as helpful as the rest of us has.

Rocket


"The struggles make you stronger, and the changes make you wise, and happiness has it's own way of taking it's sweet time.
Gary Allan- From "Life Ain't Always Beutiful"


serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 1/8/2009 8:53 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi hexe63,

Welcome to the forum and to HealingWell. I'm glad you've found somewhere that feels supportive to you. We have a mix of both spouses and bipolars on this board. I hope you find it useful.

serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II


BD_spouse
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 175
   Posted 1/8/2009 12:21 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm new too. And being able to come here and know that there are others going through the same thing as me has helped SO much with coping with my DH.
WELCOME!! :)

4support
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 76
   Posted 1/8/2009 1:00 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi hexe,
 
Yes, a warm welcome to the board. :-)
 
I've found this to be a wonderful place for support and insight from people who understand!  Doesn't it feel isolating something being married to a BP husband?  I know I feel that way.  It's not that I am ashamed or embarrassed to talk to others about it, it's just that I am more of a private person and feel this is our family's business and don't feel many would truly understand.  I also don't want people judging my husband or our family, and unfortunately many people are that way. shakehead
 
I love my husband deeply and we've been married 13 yrs with 2 young children.  He is on/off with his moods frequently it seems, and he is on medications as well.  I get very tired and upset of his hurtful rants and him blaming his own problems on me, or blaming me for being the one with the problem when I've finally had enough and get angry myself!  I've considered leaving many times, so much so that he is convinced I really want out of the marriage, when I have been fighting FOR the marriage for years since his diagnosis.
 
I am still hazy about what he means when he says all the hurtful stuff to me.  I don't even know what to believe anymore.

It seems we've been on an up/down rollercoaster for years.
 
It helps tremendously to talk with others who can relate.
 
Keep in touch with us and take good care,
 
4support
 
 

hexe63
New Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 1/10/2009 1:18 AM (GMT -7)   
My husband finally admitted to his brother/wife last night that he has a problem - and they were not at all shocked. He went to see a GP today - on his own - but the doctor only gave him a 30 day script for an antidepressent called LUVOX (I've looked this up on the net, but it doesn't seem to be a treatment for bipolar??), and the side effects are basically the same as the symptoms itself....
He didn't tell the doctor about his mood swings or his vile temper towards me, only that he feels a depressed (i.e. when the kids rooms aren't clean, with work etc etc). So I am feeling quite annoyed - I feel like he's gone to the doctor just to "shut me up", and he didn't get his script filled!!
I feel really horrible saying this, but I honestly don't know if I love him anymore, I miss his sweet fun side but I can't really remember when I saw that last. I think 'that' man has long gone and I'm left with an empty man who hates himself so much that he has to drag down everyone else around him. I can't approach him to talk, and I certainly have no desire to make love to him after all the rotten things he says to me. He's gone out with the kids tonight to a friends for a bbq - I faked illness so I didn't have to go - I just couldn't bring myself to play "happy families" tonight - plus he'll be drinking and he REALLY gets into rotten moods when he's been drinking.
I'm sorry if I sound like I'm whingeing, but it feels good to finally talk to someone about it. I've been keeping it all to myself for so long now (not even my best friends know about it).

Rocketman
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 156
   Posted 1/10/2009 7:50 AM (GMT -7)   
Hey Hex;

As you will see, the more you read & post here, the more you will see the shocking similarities in all of our lives. You can have friends to talk to all you want, but there is just something about letting it out to people who know exactly what you are going thru that really helps. Hang in there & keep coming back here to post & read, it really does help.

Rocket
"The struggles make you stronger, and the changes make you wise, and happiness has it's own way of taking it's sweet time.
Gary Allan- From "Life Ain't Always Beutiful"


BD_spouse
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 175
   Posted 1/10/2009 8:30 AM (GMT -7)   
BEWARE!

Antidepressants can actually make mania worse! My husband was on celexa (i think that's what it was called) for 6 weeks and guess what? In those 6 weeks he managed to blow $15,000 in one month, plan the death of his family and binge drank/did drugs every week (one weekend he wanted to drink so bad, he took off from our house while I was gone and left my kids home alone with the front door unlocked). On top of that, he was angry with the boys and hurtful towards me. He said he didn't love me, this wasn't going to work and anything else that you can possibly read on here that is hurtful/mean.

I would go back to his GP and tell him you don't want him on an antidepressent. Try to get him on some kind of mood stabilizer that treats the BD as well.

Good Luck
From the moment

From the moment i saw you,
I wanted to meet you
From the moment i met you, I wanted to know you
From the moment i knew you, I was in love with you
From the moment i loved you, I wanted to share my life with you
and from that moment to this moment and for the moments to come I will love you with all my heart.
-author unknown


shebsy
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 125
   Posted 1/10/2009 12:19 PM (GMT -7)   
My mood stabilizer dosage was increased when an antidepressant was added to the cocktail. Maybe your husband does not feel comfortable in admitting his irritability, his anger and other symptoms associated with hypomania. Depression has become more socially acceptable so he probably feels more comfortable in admitting that to his doctor. I refused to admit I had a problem even when I was psychotic and immensely hurtful to my family because I did not see anything wrong with what I was doing. It is hard for someone with a disease to understand the consequences of their actions so basically you will have to manipulate your husband into seeing a psychiatrist or get him court ordered to get an evaluation done. Getting him to a psychiatrist is the best thing you can do for him as well as yourself.
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