Well, the start to my 2009 has not gone well. My job is suddenly not going well due to the fact that my boss, who I got along famously for the first 5 months of my job is now hostile, rude and unprofessional to me for no apparent reason. He seems to suddenly be taking all his resentment in life out on me of late – of which he has admitted doing and has even said he doesn’t know why he has picked me. I came back from time off which I earned, and he seems QUITE resentful about it and has begun insulting my job performance now. I have been yelled at consistently for the last 2 months, cursed at repetitively, and a general growling at every turn. We had a talk about it Monday and even though he has acknowledged it as inappropriate and wrong on his part, to various degrees he is still doing it. His behavior strikes me as quite BP out of control as it shifts around constantly, but as I am not a pro, other than being the wife of one and mother to another, therefore I can not make that call. I do know that to stay in this environment is not acceptable. On the flip side, I am making good money in this economy and feel an obligation to my family. Now, my H says he wants me to resign; we'll handle the money somehow – but I am carrying the insurance now and COBRA is costly.
Then after this accelerating even more this week and lasting throughout the week consistently, I got a call Friday morning that a dear friend committed suicide. This has taken me completely by surprise. I was unaware that she suffered from mental illness, a few friends in out group knew but never shared it with the rest of us, and I had known her since high school! We are talking 34 years now. We spoke together about my S and H both being BP, and the challenges I faced dealing with this. The challenges they faced having it, and we all faced as a family. She was always loving and supportive. What she didn't reveal however was SHE was also BP and when through our lives together she was ill, it was due to debilitating depression. I was always lead to believe it was something like a blood disorder or cancer type of thing as she claimed it was nothing anyone could help with she just needed to rest. So, as our wide group of friends started to speak to one another trying to cope with this tragedy, a different picture than the one I knew was slowly being revealed. I am SO very sad. Not only I am considering seeking new work, I now have to face the loss of my friend.
As I sit here and write this, I recognize that I have to get some sleep to go to work tomorrow and face the day of whatever may come my way, and possibly quit. I was proud of the work I was doing and was acknowledged for it being excellent. But I can not continue to work for a man who, while brilliant in his own right as a doctor and the medical corporation he has built, would be so heinously unprofessional to behave as he has to me. I have worked hard for him and his company, and I am clear it is HIS issue. But I am human, and it still hurts, and I can not allow it to continue and I have no control over him.
I also know that I will have to find a way to say goodbye to my friend and reconcile in my heart what she did. I will miss her. I am angry she didn't trust me to share she was struggling with this given how much experience she knew I had with this, and I am angry she did not reach out for help. As a mutual friend said, “She chose a permanent solution to a temporary problem!” There was so much love available to her from SO very many who loved her, support was at her fingertips…all she had to do was reach out.
Sadness is in my heart at the start of 2009… The one bright spot has been that my H has been wonderfully supportive and kind throughout.
Thanks for listening. LFW
As far as the job...it sounds a bit on the borderline of harrassment. I wouldn't blame you for checking into your legal rights regarding your working conditions before you quit. No one deserves to be treated such as you are at a job!
I can just hear your pain in your words, LFW. I am so sorry you are facing such hardship right now. As if you weren't dealing with enough already!
It's heartbreaking to hear about your close friend. I lost a close friend of mine to MS not too long ago, and I understand how you feel. I wish she would have realized what a support she would have had in you if she would have turned to you for help.
As for the job, that makes life rough as you are there everyday and should have a pleasant work environment and boss. Life is too short if he keeps acting that way. I would definetely have a calm but firm talk with him, and elaborate that you love your job and feel you bring value, but you cannot continue to accept the treatment you have been receiving lately. Hopefully he'll be receptive!
Just wanted you to know you're in my thoughts and I'm sending wishes for strength and guidance your way...
My sympathy to you again for the loss of your friend. Life can be so rough, can't it? God Bless.
I’m really sorry for all you are going through right now. Never mind that it is the first of the year. This is no indication of how the rest of the year will be for you. It started off terribly and that is that. You must continue to forge ahead and believe that things will get better for you.
I’m am very sorry to hear about your friend. It happened so suddenly and I’m sure it is a shock to learn all that was involved with her that she never shared with you. She was mentally ill and no one in their right mind can take their own life away. I’m sorry it came to that for her. I can understand a little why she would not want to share things about herself even with those close to her. It’s not your fault or anyone’s that she didn’t share this information. I too do the very same thing. It’s a very personal decision.
As far as work is concerned, I feel very bad for you. I understand that we all face great difficulties financially during these tough economic times and I totally understand your stand about needing this job for your good income and affordable health insurance.
I would have another discussion with this person and let them know, as you have told so many of us that you do not deserve this type of treatment and that if he doesn’t change his tone with you, you will be forced to discuss this matter with his superiors. You already spoke to him once and he settled down a little bit. Maybe it is time to just go over his head and speak to his superiors now. You are happy there and well respected for your contributions by others and NEED your job. Jobs are very hard to come by right now. Don’t let this one person do so much possible damage to you and your family’s life.
Good luck with everything. Please keep us posted. I wish nothing but the best for you and your family. I understand all the pluses of holding on to this job. This person needs to shape up and it’s time somebody should take actions against him.
P.S. I just read the post before mine from "4support". I really like what this person said. They picked all the right words!