Post Edited (BD_spouse) : 1/19/2009 8:26:05 PM (GMT-7)
I was afraid you would be posting something like this, just didn't think it would be so soon. It's great when they are doing well & hurts terribly when they slide back. Don't take this hard, it isn't your fault, but you know that. Some one with a drinking problem is going to drink, until they make the decision on thier own to get help & stop. We was over at the in-laws one time for her dad's birthday, he had stopped drinking for several months, he had went to the store before we got there & told us when he got back that he had some ice cream along with his 6 pack, but put it back. He said something was telling him to not buy it because it would make him sick, BUT THE BEER WOULD BE O.K.! There had been so many times that he would quit for a few months then start back up again, but would never actively get treatment for it. I know that drinking is a hard thing to beat & I am sure it is even harder when you have a kind of condition like his. Hopefully things will turn back around & he will start moving foreward again.
Hope you have a good day,
talked to his parents and he never showed. called his nan and she hadn't heard from him either. chances are he goes to his nan's in a while. i just want to know he's ok. i don't care about the rest, i do realize that he's sick and needs help but i just need to know he's alright. he had no money and no phone and his memory sucks so he doesn't have any numbers memorized so he would have had to walk somewhere.it's such a beautiful day today. the sun is shining so bright, yet, i just want to cry.
this time i have NO idea where he could be.
Post Edited (BD_spouse) : 1/19/2009 8:48:03 AM (GMT-7)
I hoe this morning finds things better for you. I know you can't help but worry about his well being, especially given the bad choices that can be made when someone isn't stable. Keeo your head up, your eyes & ears open, and your hearts strong, & things will work out. Keeo us posted!
Good luck to you!
Man I am sorry you had such a rough weekend. I'm sure you are heartbroken right about now. I have to agree with serafena on this one. If he doesn't get some treatment & see that there is consequences to his actions, they will just keep on, or get worse. It is a very strong need in us to want to take care of our spouces because we love them so much, but that requires some pretty harsh actions sometimes. It isn't something that is enjoyable, but it still has to be done. If you truly want to help him, then think about what will really help him. I hope he gets his meds straitened out & comes back around, but you know deep down that there is only one way that is going to happen. First HE has to decide that he wants to get control of this & get better. Then HE needs to realize that going into the hospital & being honest with the docs is the only way that can happen. Until HE decides to do this, there is only so much you can do to help. This condition is hard enough on them & the people that love them, but when you add an addiction on top of it that puts a whole new dynamic onto it.
The best advice I can give you other then that is to make sure your heart doesn't override your head. I have seen first hand what enabling behavior for years can do to people & the people that love them & I can promise it isn't pretty at all.
Please keep us posted, I'll try to hep any way I can.
Wow! That is great news! I sure hope this helps him get back on track. I'm sure you have a whole range of emotions right now, but the overriding one is happiness that he will be getting help. BTW, no you aren't being stupid, you are showing how much you love him. Bet you anyone that know your situation would agree.
No, we aren't totally cut off. Except the first 7 days he can't have any contact with anyone. It's the first 7 days that he does his orientation and kind of "dry's out" from whatever he did last. The first week he has a chance to get to know other people in the facility without any distractions. Visiting hours are Sat and Sun so I'll take the boys down once a week to see their Dad and after 21 days he's allowed an overnight pass to come home. That means that maybe he can come home overnight for Valentine's day!! xoxoxox
Thanks for all the support - the good and even the stuff that I might not want to hear - I do want to hear it all. I need to be realistic about this and not in denial which is so easy to do when there are "fluffy" answers (which thankfully no one here gives!!) thank you for your honesty.
I'm so thankful for you all and all the support you have provided for me in the short time i've been here. Even though he's gone for now, i'll keep you posted on his progress!
I am so happy for you guys. This will be hard on you, but will be 10 times harder on him. Compared to what you have been thru thought, this should be a cakewalk. This will help you as much as it will him thoough. Take the time to get yourself well & give your emotions some rest. This time will help you get your batteries re-charged. Take advantage! Kepp yourself busy to keep your mind off of missing him & just remember that this is the best thing right now. If he comes home cured & the person you remember won't it be worth it. You know it will.
Keep us posted on his progress, and remember we are here if you need us.
Best of luck to you guys!