I have to say that being 4 months removed from being diagnosed and treated i am completely at peace with myself. Oh i still have my urgers and problems, but they are very faint and i can ignore them most of the time.
I didnt go out and contract bipolar, i was prewired at the factory with it. LOL
I have learned to accept that my preceptions of the world are skewed and out of wack when i do not take my medicine, and that i am a much better husband, friend, and father on the meds. But mostly i have forgiven myself my past mistakes, allowing for the fact that even though bipolar isnt an excuse, its a heck of a handicap on the final score.
But i never, never want to forget the pain i caused my wife. I may forgive myself, but i need to earn her forgivness every day anew for the damage i have caused.
Thanks to my doctor and my therpist and my meds i have achieved a level of peace in my life and in my heart i have never experienced before. Its a sense of peace i hope all of you can enjoy each and every day. My life may not be perfect, but for the first time i feel like i finally have the right tools and the correct vision to make it a little more perfect every day.