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inertia
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 48
   Posted 1/19/2009 10:31 PM (GMT -7)   
so...my husband spotted my having SI the last few months and weeks. I'd been trying very hard to keep it from him, he realized i did it back in '05 and freaked out, which he did again tonight. we'd been drinking and went our seperate ways for sleep when he game in to say good night; then he saw it.



He began freaking out..baning on the door and crying. then walked out of the room for a while and said that hiim destroying my TV, killing my dog, and destroying my computers in the room wouldn't help any so he'll be in another room. he wants to know what i can tell him to fix it. i guess thats a male (or at least his) trait...have to fix it no matter what. my dr knows and my therapist knows what i do,i've made sure to tell them everything up front for my treatment to go smoother, i offered for him to join me in counceling wendsday to talk to my therapist about it but i don't think he'll do it. so, he made me take a photo of the injuries and email them to my mom....his mom...amd him all as cc so he can make sure i do it. i dont' think that was the right thing, but he is bigger than me and pounding on things, i wanted to keep them inatimate. when he spooted them back in '05 i guess its a button for him, he said never before had he so much wanted to hit a woman. hes not normaly like this, let me please stress that. hes typicaly the rock that keeps me from going deeper into depression.



so...damage control...any ideas?



i have a PDF pamphelt on SI but don't know if they'll read it. just do the whole shes crazy lock her up recation (which is a fear).

Post Edited By Moderator (serafena) : 1/20/2009 8:53:23 AM (GMT-7)


inertia
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 48
   Posted 1/19/2009 10:32 PM (GMT -7)   
crud..i'm sorry. tere was a orginialy a subject (SI & family) but it got deleted. i had lost my internet connection while making the post. sorry, sorry

BD_spouse
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 175
   Posted 1/19/2009 11:06 PM (GMT -7)   
what is SI?
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do."
--
MARK TWAIN


serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 1/20/2009 8:51 AM (GMT -7)   
Self-injury
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II


serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 1/20/2009 9:12 AM (GMT -7)   
Oooh, boy. This is a hard one. I have been here too. My husband freaked out too, but he didn't "out" me to the family. Clearly he's trying to let the mothers know so it takes away some of the secrecy of your actions and helps him feel comforted, and to bring them in on keeping you from doing it. I don't know if it's the right thing to do either, but I can understand his logic a little. I'm sorry he got so upset.

What I did was I turned over all my "tools." I went to all my hiding places with him and handed them over one by one, and promised to work on getting it under control. That seemed to appease him a little bit. I wore short sleeves for a while so he could see my arms (where I injured). And I worked really hard on it in therapy. It took me a while -- a good year and I had slip ups -- but I did get over it. You can do it too.

(((hugs)))
serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II


inertia
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 48
   Posted 1/20/2009 10:26 AM (GMT -7)   
yea i know its tough to recover from. and i apreciate the hug :)

I think his plan backfired though. my mom is gungho to drive through 3 states to get me and bring me back home with her. what he did was very hurtful to me, i think some time apart would be a good idea. I know that he loves me and in his mind somewhere he was doing the right thing but the few friends that i've talked to already and myself all agree he went about it wrong.

i have another therapy session tomorrow so i'll talk to her about it too.

serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 1/20/2009 1:36 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm so sorry. Clearly he crossed the line then. Make that clear to him, as well. Are you thinking of going with your mom for a while, then? That would be very hard on both of you.

serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II

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