The Meany BP Wife's Update

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Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 94
   Posted 1/23/2009 12:13 AM (GMT -6)   
Hello everyone,
Went to my second therapy session today.  She kept repeating that my husband's nastiness towards me has nothing to do with me personally.  Why do I find that hard to believe?  She kept repeating that I have to keep repeating to myself that he's not ok and that once we get the meds all taken care of he will be a different person and if he's not I should dump him.  Ha ha ha.  
That is my biggest fear.  What if he is still not ok on different meds?  What if he really doesn't "come back" to his old self?   
Monday seems even further away than ever.  That's when we go see the doctor.  Meanwhile, I fake being ok at work.  I fake pretending his words don't sting.  I just fake.
She did recommend a good psychiatrist for him and then I call and he's not taking new patients!  Ugh.  I begged and said I was in crisis.  He's suppose to call me back. 

falling apart
Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 61
   Posted 1/23/2009 7:23 AM (GMT -6)   

Hang in there!  I am also wondering the same thing!  How much of the nasty husband is BP and how much is his personality?  My therapist has never claimed that my "old" husband will come back.  She said all you can do is deal with the here and now and build a future together.  I wonder if I read between the lines she is telling me he will never be the same?  I willchave to ask her next week.......until then I will stay in "wait and see" mode.

So that I don't hijack your thread, I will post my update in a new one.  I have been sort of MIA for a few days and A LOT has happened.

Hang in there and PLEASE take care of yourself!!!!  We are here for you!


Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 156
   Posted 1/23/2009 8:54 AM (GMT -6)   

Hey whyus;

That can be a hard thing to believe. Even though you know that it is his condition you have to wonder how much of it they really feel, even knowing it is their condition, that still doesn't take the sting out of it. As you have probably read, finding the right meds are crucial, but the even bigger part is him following the docs advice & doing his part. After the last meds increase a couple of weeks ago, my wife seems to be doing much better, although she has slipped back a little the past few days. Maybe monday can be a turning point for you guys. hope you have a good weekend.


"The struggles make you stronger, and the changes make you wise, and happiness has it's own way of taking it's sweet time.
Gary Allan- From "Life Ain't Always Beutiful"

Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 1/23/2009 11:22 AM (GMT -6)   
She's right. His nastiness is not your fault. You haven't made him be mean to you. It has nothing to do with you. He's just being mean because he's bp. Hopefully that's all there is to it. And if the meds don't take care of it and he stays nasty, then you have to make bigger decisions about what to do. But for now, I'd just work with the hope that it's just his bp talking.

Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II

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