Well, last night I cried out a letter to my husband that i'm prepared to read to him the next time he calls me. It explains how much I love him and how much I want him to come home, but not until he's better. That if he chooses to leave treatment then he'll have to find somewhere to go. It explains how scared I am if something ever happened to him all because I didn't stand up to him and ask him to stay in treatment, I could never forgive myself. It tells him how hard this is for me to do, even though I know it's hard for him to be there, that he needs to remember why he's there and really try to stick it out. That I know he'll be mad at me but when he's ready, he can call me and i'd love to visit him - but only when he's ready.
I say I cried out a letter b/c it was the hardest thing I've ever written. I spoke out loud as I typed as if I was speaking directly to him as I typed. It's all from the heart.
I just want my husband back - healthy. I'd hate to post an update one day stating that he OD'ed or crashed his car and if it means letting him go now so that I can have him back (hopefully) in the future then i'm willing to make that sacrifice. Then the decision is up to him. If he chooses to leave treatment then he'll have to find somewhere to stay and take care of himself, but I can tell you now that none of his family will have him. My gf went to rehab and she said for the first month she called her mom everyday telling her how horrible it was and how she didn't need to be there, that she considered it like prison but only something she had to do to get her kids back... etc... she's been clean and sober for 1.5 years now.
I'll let you know how the conversation goes...
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do."
-- MARK TWAIN