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BD_spouse
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 175
   Posted 1/23/2009 11:45 AM (GMT -7)   
Well, last night I cried out a letter to my husband that i'm prepared to read to him the next time he calls me.  It explains how much I love him and how much I want him to come home, but not until he's better.  That if he chooses to leave treatment then he'll have to find somewhere to go.  It explains how scared I am if something ever happened to him all because I didn't stand up to him and ask him to stay in treatment, I could never forgive myself.  It tells him how hard this is for me to do, even though I know it's hard for him to be there, that he needs to remember why he's there and really try to stick it out.  That I know he'll be mad at me but when he's ready, he can call me and i'd love to visit him - but only when he's ready.
 
I say I cried out a letter b/c it was the hardest thing I've ever written.  I spoke out loud as I typed as if I was speaking directly to him as I typed.  It's all from the heart.
 
cry  
 
I just want my husband back - healthy.  I'd hate to post an update one day stating that he OD'ed or crashed his car and if it means letting him go now so that I can have him back (hopefully) in the future then i'm willing to make that sacrifice.  Then the decision is up to him.  If he chooses to leave treatment then he'll have to find somewhere to stay and take care of himself, but I can tell you now that none of his family will have him.  My gf went to rehab and she said for the first month she called her mom everyday telling her how horrible it was and how she didn't need to be there, that she considered it like prison but only something she had to do to get her kids back... etc... she's been clean and sober for 1.5 years now.
 
I'll let you know how the conversation goes...
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do."
--
MARK TWAIN


Rocketman
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 156
   Posted 1/24/2009 7:40 AM (GMT -7)   

Wow,

I am sure that was hard for you to do. To finally come to the point of making that decision. That is a real low point when you finally get to the point of realizing that you're done. But reading it too him will be even tougher on you, be prepared because he probably isn't going to be very receptive of this. I am hoping that his treatment is going well so you can have your hubby back healthy again.

Hope you have a great weekend;

Rocket


"The struggles make you stronger, and the changes make you wise, and happiness has it's own way of taking it's sweet time.
Gary Allan- From "Life Ain't Always Beutiful"


BD_spouse
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 175
   Posted 1/24/2009 8:07 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks Rocket:

So far I haven't had to read the letter to him, which i'm thankful for, but at least I know that I'm ready (well, not really ready, but at the end of the rope) so that if he tries to leave treatment I'm prepared to persuade him to stay. He can't catch me off guard...at least I hope.
It helps that the doctor has prescribed him an anti-anxiety medication. AND - he said he still wants me to go and see him today. hurray! lol
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do."
--
MARK TWAIN


Rocketman
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 156
   Posted 1/24/2009 10:51 AM (GMT -7)   

BD;

I hope you have a great visit today! If everythingn goes well & it is an enjoyable one, it will be an incredible lift to both of your spirits!

Hve a good weekend & take care,

Rocket


"The struggles make you stronger, and the changes make you wise, and happiness has it's own way of taking it's sweet time.
Gary Allan- From "Life Ain't Always Beutiful"


BD_spouse
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 175
   Posted 1/24/2009 5:35 PM (GMT -7)   
Oh it was so good to see him. I got to meet his little network of friends and they are all really great! He looks a little more settled - more accepting of the situation.
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do."
--
MARK TWAIN


Rocketman
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 156
   Posted 1/24/2009 7:07 PM (GMT -7)   

Awsome! I am so glad everything went well! The longer he is there the more settled he will get. I am sure it is very unnerving to be in his situation. My wife said her first night in the hospital she just cried all night fearing the unknown. But after a day or two she did much better.

Hope things continue to go well;

Rocket


"The struggles make you stronger, and the changes make you wise, and happiness has it's own way of taking it's sweet time.
Gary Allan- From "Life Ain't Always Beutiful"

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