I used to think cheating would be the deal breaker for me.....but it didn't really turn out that way. Ultimately, I may not be able to get past the anger, hurt and mistrust. It may be what actulaly does our marraige in.
The only reason why it hasn't so far is because it was obvious that my husband was so far out of control that he was truly on the verge of losing EVERYTHING (me, kids, sister, mom, his business, home, cars, etc). I felt that I really needed to help him stabilize and get back on track. So far we are taking those little tiny baby steps. Today he even went back to work! Yay!
I am still so hurt and bitter though. The kids and I are staying at my parents' house for the time being. We do, however, go home after school and stay through dinner (I cook and everything). I help him get prepared for the next day, make sure he takes his meds, etc. Then we drive up the road to my mom's for the night.
It is a bizarre situation, but we have adjusted pretty well. The kids would rather skip going to our house and go straight to MiMi and Poppa's , but they understand that daddy needs our love and support.
He is very depressed and I feel guilty leaving him home alone, but, you know, he has not even apologized for his affair yet. He has not dealt with how his actions have hurt me. I wish he would at least try to understand why I am not jumping back into bed with him and living like everything was fine. I try to explain it, but tonight he just got this blank stare and then started crying. It was sobering for me to see him just cry and not be able to express why he felt sad. Ah, I digress.........
It is going to take more time to figure out where to draw that line in the sand.......I will just have to live in uncertainty until then!
Thanks for listening (a.k.a. reading)!