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maggiern
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 223
   Posted 1/28/2009 8:25 PM (GMT -7)   
I feel so angry today I feel as if my skin is crawling.  I take so much crap from all the people around me because I do not want to rock the boat, that the anger just eats me up inside.  I have been so stressed out with these so called friends and family that I have been perging and my stomach is killing me, and that makes me angry.  I just feel as if I am going to lose it. Truly it is not what I am doing it is what they are doing to each other without remorse.  To top it off I have Crohn's disease and I am making myself even more sick with the way I am feeling and what I am doing to myself.  I just wanted to share how I am feeling because if I just kept thinking it over and over to myself all it does is upset me more.   What is really funny is that it is not all in my head, these people have no regard for there fellow man or woman as it may be.  Why do I a Bipolar have to take meds when all these others that are just straight trouble makers and idiots say they are normal.  Just makes me say why.  Thank you all that read this for putting up to my ranting and ravings. confused

serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 1/29/2009 9:26 AM (GMT -7)   
Rave away, maggiern. It's much healthier to write about it than to purge. Don't hurt your body over their idiocy. Take an anxiety pill if you need to.

You're sensitive to other people, like I am. I'm very keen to my environment and I have a terrible time letting other people's behaviors and emotions just roll away. I'm hyperaware, as my therapist puts it, and take their emotions on myself, try to fix things, or if not, I let the emotions tear me up inside. I can't relax. They trigger my SI, I can't relax, I get irritable.

We have to practice letting other people just have their own emotions and actions and not feel responsible for them. They are their decisions and have nothing to do with us, no matter how stupid or ill-conceived they are, we can't stop or intervene in ever action every person makes. You'll drive yourself nuts. You don't have to rescue everyone. You don't have to take so much crap. Rock the boat a little -- tell them to leave you alone, you're not feeling well.

This is where therapy comes in useful. Are you seeing someone?

(((hugs)))
serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II


maggiern
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 223
   Posted 1/29/2009 11:53 AM (GMT -7)   
I go to a clinic and there is not a lot of help to access due to the overwhelming amount of people that go to the clinic.  I did take a visteral, and ativan last night because I could not breathe or sleep, that is anxiety to me.  I am kind of out of it today, but that is how I want to be.  I do not even want to talk to any of them and this feeling makes easier to do.  Thanks for your feedback.

bipolardude73
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 24
   Posted 1/29/2009 2:38 PM (GMT -7)   
Is it your family that is giving you are hard time? My mom and dad does the same thing with me. Sometimes they make off handed comments for instance, my dad says that I am really messed up in the head and my mom sometimes is just very cruel and standoffish towards me. 99% of the time, I don't do anything at all to provoke their behavior towards me. I just mainly stay to myself in my bedroom all the time so I don't provoke anything- if it wasn't for my piece of crap computer, I think I would really go insane. I just wanted to say that I know where you are coming from- why should we be labeled Bipolar and forced to take meds when there are jerks out there that are much worse than we are. Take care and try to not hurt your body by purging- God Bless

I edited your post for language. Serafena.

Post Edited By Moderator (serafena) : 1/29/2009 3:54:42 PM (GMT-7)


not on a positive trip
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 14
   Posted 3/22/2009 6:07 PM (GMT -7)   
serafena

Its like you were reading my mind. I think I am very hyper aware and it bothers me that other people seem so oblivious to their surroundings. I cant let my have her own emotion, I have to own it. I mostly react to fear or anger, I just ramp right up and get snappish and hot tempered. Its been a real problem for me because I jump right in to "fix it." Thats bad too, a double-whammy. This gets me in a lot of trouble. I am looking for help and advice on this topic as well if anybody has any. Its like a reflex and I need a management strategy.

maggiern

Im sorry you have to deal with all of that. Its so hard when you dont feel like you have a reliable support structure. Use this board, Ive been posting like mad this weekend and I feel so much better with the fellowship thats here. Chin up!

maggiern
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 223
   Posted 4/6/2009 7:26 AM (GMT -7)   
I was just going through my post and since I wrote that I had a terrible episode.  I took too many ativan and shaved all my hair off because someone at work said something bad about it.  I just put this all together after what my family told me and what little I can remember.  When I took the pills and cut my hair I can't remember anything, not even taking the pills.  I am feeling better each day, my husband did not take me to the hospital and so him and my son took turns watching me.  I still feel as if my skin is crawling at times and got a wig to go out, but rarely leave.  I only work once or twice a week so that helps.  But now reading your posts thank you.

Kimberly88
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 13
   Posted 4/6/2009 12:06 PM (GMT -7)   

My husband is very negative also today, and that is not him..He generally is a very optimistic person. Everything is getting to him today, grumpy, depressed and negative! It is very good to vent, let it out! You need to, we are here for you!

 

Take care


Kimberly88
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 13
   Posted 4/6/2009 12:28 PM (GMT -7)   
If I may ask, is that a "normal" s/s of bp feeling as though your skin is crawling?  My bp husband c/o the same symptoms of itchy skin, feeling as though his skin is crawling!

poodles
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 180
   Posted 4/6/2009 4:00 PM (GMT -7)   
Kimberly,
Absolutely. Crawling, or itchy skin is very symtomatic of my manic episodes. I also understand reacting to someone else's anger, or other strong emotion.
I used to not understand the term "manic" because I thought that meant feeling great and up and hoo haa, let's have fun! But anger and irritability, and my very skin not feeling right is part of it. Overreaction too.
Yikes...I got on a run there. Sorry.
Vickie
Fibromyalgia, Bipolar Disease, Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome, Clinical Depression, Arthritis, High Blood Pressure, etc.
Who ever knew I would be defined by my diseases??


serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 4/6/2009 6:33 PM (GMT -7)   
Yes, poodles is correct. It's a common complaint, I believe. Many of us feel too much energy and emotion and feel trapped inside our skin, hence the crawling.
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II


Kimberly88
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 13
   Posted 4/7/2009 7:21 AM (GMT -7)   
Thank you! So I now know that when he is having the skin crawling episodes he is in a manic episode...Which has been a lot lately, wow. He scratched his legs so bad this past weekend it left abrasions.

Kimberly
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