A couple of issues I need input on

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bipolardude73
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 24
   Posted 1/29/2009 2:24 PM (GMT -7)   
Hello everyone! I hope yall are doing well. First of all, I would like to say thank you for all of the wonderful responses and emails I have received. It is nice to know that there are other people out there just as crazy as I am and it helps me by seeing how yall deal with the nightmare that is Bipolar Disorder. I have a few issues that I need advise on:

First of all, I am going back to the doc next week (Thursday) and this will be a new shrink that I will be seeing. The place that I go to has 2 docs on staff- my old doc wasn't helping me and wasn't listening to me at all- I felt more like a guinea pig for meds than anything. So, my care coordinator suggested that I change docs. Anyways, I was wondering if anyone could suggest a combination of meds that are actually HELPING you or your loved one that I can ask the doc if she would put me on. I am currently supposed to be taking Geodon (for hallucinations and sleep), Tegretol (cannot take because it gives me awful headaches), and Traxodone (does not help at all with anything). Several years ago I was on Haldol, Depakote and Serzone so I am thinking about asking to be on these again. The only thing is that I am like a zombie when taking all of this but at least my moods are stable but I sleep all the time. Also, I need something that isn't going to make me gain weight as I am a pre-diabetic already. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

Also, with everyone on here that is Bipolar, I was wondering, is it remotely possible to be Bipolar and have a successful relationship/marriage with someone? I read all the posts about wives being miserable and husbands being miserable so I am just wondering. My craziness cost me my wife and daughter back in 2001. My wife divorced me after I had a psychotic episode and took all rights to my daughter away from me. I have not seen my daughter since 2001 when she was first born. Anyways, once I finally get my Social Security Disability approved, I would love to date again because I haven't dated in a very long time and quite frankly, I get lonely not having anyone to talk too other than my parents who I live with and all they want to do is watch reruns of Green Acres and Andy Griffith all day long UGH! My question is, when should you tell someone that you want to date about being crazy? Is it possible to have a relationship being Bipolar? Should I seek out someone that is Bipolar themselves? Any advise would be appreciated.

Also, has anyone on here successfully signed up and been approved for Social Security Disability for being Bipolar and if so, how long did it take you to FINALLY get approved? I signed up back in December and I am just wanting to know what to expect.

Yall take care and please reply back or email me when yall have a chance (can you tell I am Southern? LOL) smilewinkgrin
Diagnosed with Mixed Bipolar Disorder with hallucinations, PTSD, OCD and Major Depression since 1994.

Always feel free to email me- sometimes an email just to say Hello is the highlight of my day.


irishheat13
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 25
   Posted 1/29/2009 4:35 PM (GMT -7)   
Whats up man. I have had bipolar since it was called manic depression ( 18 years ). I have been on just about everthing you can think of. I also had problems with all the medication that you mentioned. I was also dx with ms 3 years ago so I have to really watch my med mixing. The up side was 5 years ago when I was put on Seroquel, this has worked wonders for my mood and sleeping. I did not have any problems with it from the start, but so people had an issue with weight gain. This is really the only bad thing I have heard from other people on it. I hope this helps. PRESS ON MY FRIEND PRESS ON. IRISH13

serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 1/29/2009 7:37 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Irishheat13,

Welcome to the board. I see you have posted on different forums before -- well, welcome to ours. It's good to have new voices.


Bipolardude:

I take a whole handful of meds, but my symptoms don't sound anything like yours, so I'm not sure it would be helpful for you. Everyone is so different. But for the sake of being helpful, I take Lamictal (a good mood stabilizer, I think) and Topamax, Serzone and Lexapro, and Abilify. But I'm bipolar II with strong depressive and anxiety problems.

As to the relationship question, I am happily married. Yes, it is totally possible, but you have to go into it with your eyes wide open and being totally honest about your issues. I wouldn't mention it on the first date, exactly, but early on. Be very clear about what your superpowers and your weaknesses are. (I jest...) She needs to be willing to have a partner who is bipolar and she needs to be willing to understand what that means and be a part of your life. And you have to do your level best to make sure you are doing everything in your power to be well -- check ups, meds, therapy, listening to her when she says you're not acting right. You can't afford to just have the random mood swings any more. You have to be in control as much as you possibly can. And as long as you're trying, that's all anyone can ask of you.

I'm so sorry you lost contact with your daughter. That is very sad. I hope you can connect with her again someday. Until then, you DESERVE to be happy. I hope you do try and connect with someone new.

Good luck at the doc appt.
serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II


BD_spouse
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 175
   Posted 1/29/2009 7:44 PM (GMT -7)   
Honestly. If I had been on a couple dates with my husband and he sat me down and told me how much he cared about me and that being said had to tell me something and then said he was Bipolar - I honestly don't think it would scare me off... as long as he accepted it and was responsible about it... meaning regular med checks, doc visits, etc... you know proactive about it, i'd be ok. Don't let that stop you from dating - as for being "miserable" now - I understand that it's not really "him" doing this. And all the good times we have makes those "bad" times (for lack of better words) bearable, even as crappy and horrible it is at the time. Try to build a good foundation for a relationship and that way when you need to weather the storm, you're house won't fall down! :) (bad analogy, i know!!)
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do."
--
MARK TWAIN


Whyus
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 94
   Posted 1/29/2009 11:25 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey bipolardude73, I agree with Serafena.  Be honest up front before feelings start getting to serious and then it's too late to back out. 
 
We didn't find out about my husband's bp until after we were married and then he didn't start flipping out on me until after we had kids.  I am already in too deep and can only move forward.
 
It really sucks to have to deal with a bp spouse and you have to be committed to living with this illness.  Sorry to be blunt, but I'm a little bitter here. 
 


shebsy
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 125
   Posted 1/30/2009 5:59 AM (GMT -7)   
I have tried several combinations but my present combination seems to be working pretty well. I was on Tegretol and Risperdal and then my doctor put me on Lithium. Lithium did not work on me, I stopped taking my meds and had a relapse. My doctor wanted to put me on Zyprexa but I was concerned about weight gain so he put me on Amisulpride (a drug for schizophrenia), Tegretol, Haldol and Lexapro. I take Lexapro only when I am depressed. I know Olanzapine (Zyprexa), Risperdal and to some extent Tegretol make you gain weight, I am not sure about the others. It seems that the weight gain is due to an increase an appetite. If a person cuts down on chips, fries, soft drinks and substitutes them with raw fruit and vegetables, weight gain can be controlled.

I often get lonely too since I live with my parents and their idea of a perfect holiday is to shop and watch Bollywood (Indian) movies. But I still haven't got over my past. Many of my friends dumped me when they found out I had bipolar. All the men I had casually dated ran away from me when they found out I had bipolar. The man who spent a semester obsessing over me called the cops when I had a psychotic episode instead of taking me to a psychiatrist. I think most of these people are ignorant and not necessarily malicious. But people's ignorance and their extreme and irrational fear of people with psychiatric problems can hurt as well. I still haven't got over that hurt. What makes it worse is that these are not illiterate or uneducated people but people with advanced degrees from the top schools in the U.S. Most of them were Indian and one of them was American so it is not even a cultural thing although Indians tend to be far more prejudiced than Americans. My relatives who know about my disorder verbally abuse me every time I visit Delhi. I feel helpless since I can't do anything about these people. All I know is that when they go through a period of misery in their lives (and even normal people go through their own hell), I will tell them they deserve it.

I think it is possible for bipolar people to have a relationship. After being dumped by my old friends, I have made new friends who love me and want to meet me every weekend. I have started a book club and all the members can't wait for their meetings at my place. I think it is unmedicated or undiagnosed bipolar people who bring more misery. Otherwise, don't normal people have mood swings? Don't they get irritable at times? Don't they get stressed out? Aren't some of them really mean and manipulative people? My mother verbally abuses me all day and she doesn't have bipolar. My father and sister find it extremely difficult to live with her and they snap at her all day - they don't have bipolar. My uncle is a mean and abusive man - he doesn't have bipolar. His wife yells back at him all day and she doesn't have bipolar. The children can't stand their parents and they don't have bipolar. I can give you many examples of screwed up normal people. It is just easier to blame someone if they have bipolar. My family and relatives are a set of mean, screwed up people and they all pounce on me because they don't want to look at their own flaws.

I wish you the very best with dating. I am sure you will find a wonderful partner.

bipolardude73
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 24
   Posted 1/30/2009 2:13 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks for the advise, I really needed that. Yeah, as far as one's family goes, I was the star child in the family until 1994 when I had my very first psychotic episode. Until then, everyone looked up at me as a family role model and my family constantly told me how proud they were of me. I say that because I was at that time a young Baptist minister with a very thriving radio and TV ministry and I was associate pastor of a local church. I had an awesome future or so everyone thought plus I was excepted into a private Christian college on a full scholarship. However, in 1994, I went wacko, crashed my car into a tree and tried to commit suicide 2 more times. I was committed into an institution and I remember my preacher coming to the hospital along with the head deacon and they told me that once I got out I would have to stand before the congregation and resign all of my positions because I was no longer a good example for young people to follow. Now imagine if you will, already being depressed and suicidal and now I have to hear that!! My life was over as I knew it because I was shunned and ridiculed by my entire family. Now, I still have family that don't want to associate with me because I "fell from Grace" as they call it. I have not been back to church since then except for funerals. Now, all I really associate with are just my mom and dad whom I live with because I have no choice. My relationship with my parents is a strange one because both of them only have a limited education (my dad has a 4th grade education and my mom has a 6th grade education) and don't understand what is wrong with me- they only think I am a drug addict because I have overdosed numerous times and will not accept the fact that I was suicidal each time I overdosed. My last suicide attempt was last October of 2007 when I overdosed yet again. While I was in the hospital, my mother went through my bedroom and completely ransacked it taking all of my meds. Now, she demands that she be the one to give me my meds because she is afraid that I will overdose again. The problem with that is if the doc puts me on a new med and my mom reads the side effects, she will refuse to give the med and will flush it down the toilet!!! Ya know, I realize that I have overdosed many times, but come on, I feel like I am retarded or something because she does this. The first thing I am planning on doing when I get approved for disability is move out and be on my own again- yeah, it will be a huge fight, but it is something that I think I must do to keep my sanity. Ya know, thinking back on it, I have NEVER overdosed or tried to commit suicide when I was living by myself oddly enough. Maybe I will move back up to New Jersey where I lived for 2 years or down to Florida.

As far as dating, my dating life has been a huge disaster. In my 20s, I went from girlfriend to girlfriend. It wouldn't be unusual for me to have 2 girlfriends in a month's time because I would either get bored with them or dump them or they would dump me. Other than being married which lasted exactly a year, my longest relationship has been about 6 months. I still miss being married or being in a relationship- the thing I miss the most is lying in bed and just talking for hours- not doing anything but holding each other and talking until the wee hours of the morning. That's what I miss the most. My problem is that when I am in a relationship and the girl doesn't yet know about me being bipolar, they ALWAYS run when I have a psychotic episode or get really moody. Heck, they run when I tell them that I am bipolar too- so it's kinda like I am danged if I do and danged if I don't. It's too bad that there is not an online singles site for people like us!! HAHA! Ya know, all I want in this world is to have a sense of normalcy with my life again. I used to have many friends or I thought that they were my friends (where are they now?) and to feel normal again and having someone that I could call a girlfriend or heck, even just a friend would help tremendously.

Anyways, sorry to get long winded. I am soooooooooooo bored today. Its cold as crap outside and really windy so I can't go walk my 3 miles that I walk everyday plus its supposed to snow here Monday UGH!! Anywho, reply or email me if yall want because I will probably be online or playing a video game for the rest of the evening. BORED BORED BORED BORED
Diagnosed with Mixed Bipolar Disorder with hallucinations, PTSD, OCD and Major Depression since 1994.

Always feel free to email me- sometimes an email just to say Hello is the highlight of my day.

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