welcome aboard. I hope you find this forum as helpful as a lot of us other spoues have. It sounds like you got hooked u with a pretty crummy counselor. I asked my wife's counselor one time about her "monthlys" & the mood swings being worse & maybe the birth control contributing to that & she (the counselor) told us that it shouldn't have much effect on her mood swings & that my wife needed to learn more control over herself & shouldn't use that as an excuse to unleash on people. I have to say that she has a great counselor. She doesn't cut my wife any slack & really pushes the accountability part of things. She is also great at seeing thru some of the B.S. that my wife tries to bring in sometimes. Hopefully you can find someone good too, but how you will get there I couldn't tell you. My wife started with hers thru her G.P.. SHe was being treated for all of the stuff that your wife is & finally the G.P. recommended she start seeing someone. Maybe that is the route you could take.
Best of luck to you,