Wow. I'm heartbroken for you and your son. First off ((HUGS)) and welcome to the board. A lot of people have experienced very similar things. I can't tell you that things are going to get better and he'll come running home to you - but would you want him back after being with another woman? He might be bipolar but he's still responsible for his actions - just because he's bipolar doesn't mean he HAS to cheat. Mine hasn't and wouldn't and I firmly believe that. Honestly hun, unless he is willing to get the help he needs, there isn't anything you can do. If you want to stand by him and support him, be prepared for a lot of hearbreak and if he's already cheated - then he may do so in the future again should he come home to you. He'll come out of this cycle eventually and either still be happy with his new life or feel so guilty he'll come crawling back to you - but again, you either have to be strong and say no - or put his cheating behind you and move on with some counselling. All I can tell you, is from what i've learned about
BPD, sometimes it takes a long time to find the right combination of medication before you find one that works. I feel for you, I really do. You have some tough choices ahead of you to make. Be strong for your sons sake. He's looking to you on how he should be feeling. I'd get him into counselling too... regardless of what happens with your husband.
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do."
-- MARK TWAIN