I'll share with you what I recently went through with my husband. Things started coming to a head and he told me that he was afraid of hurting me and our kids (ages 8 and 3). So I made some frantic phone calls (although I never believed he would or could hurt me and the kids, I was not going to be naive about
it either). He was admitted to the psych ward at the hospital and was there for a few days. While he was there, he revealed to his therapist that he'd thought (and planned out how) he'd kill us and then himself. He got on some medications and eventually was released from the hospital and shortly thereafter went to drug and alcohol treatment. So I understand your fear. Someone who is bipolar will be medicated for the rest of their lives and if your husband is in denial about
that, then there isn't anything you can do. Bipolars are famous for thinking they are better or they can control it themselves - but in all honesty they can't. Maybe you should think about
leaving. Doesn't have to be a permanent thing, but you need to know where your line in the sand is. Maybe you leaving will make him realize that there is a problem... but maybe not. All you can do is take care of you until he's ready to admit that he needs help... especially if you're afraid that he will honestly hurt you or your children. Like i've said before, if you can't do it for you, do it for your kids. That's where I draw my inner strength from to make changes when they're needed... I do it for my innocent children who deserve to live in as stable of an environment that I can provide for them. They deserve to be protected and the only person who can protect them is me. Once you get some counselling maybe talk about
your fears - you know your anxiety could possibly come from this situation??? - just a thought. Maybe your counsellor can direct you in the right way to ensure your safety.
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do."
-- MARK TWAIN