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volatile
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 7
   Posted 2/25/2009 6:26 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi everyone,

This is my first post- I'm not really sure how this all works. But I came to these boards because I'm not sure if or how I can explain my current state of being to anyone I know- they all seem to be drifting farther and farther away...

Every year around this time I get a bit depressed, and each year it has gotten progressively more intense- even so much so that I will often have to go home for a while (I live in Illinois, my family lives in Texas) just to be looked after. But recently something else has been happening to me that I'm not used to. Along with the unusually low low's, I am now experiencing a "high" or happiness and energy I haven't ever felt- and an irritability that manifests itself for no good reason. I wake up in the morning unsure of what I will be feeling. My friends are scared, my mother is worried, and I can't seem to control any of this.
I don't sleep- often staying up all night long and never going to sleep, then eventually sleeping through an entire day. And I don't eat- hunger escapes me and I rarely think about eating anyway. I only leave my house if I absolutely have to and even making music brings little to no excitement.

I am shortly starting therapy, but I'm skeptical as to whether that will help. I feel as if I do not get help soon that I will lose it. I don't know myself right now and it is frightening.

I guess I'm just asking for some encouragement, or anything really.

Thanks...

tyno3
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 1081
   Posted 2/26/2009 2:08 AM (GMT -7)   
It seems to me you've come to the right place. Earlt morning awakening, 2 Am ad again 4Am is common for me. Feeling depressed is common. Sometimes I have to force myself to get up and move around although I feel like burrowing deeper under the covers. Those manic spells you describe, very light hearted (and light-headed). have gotten me into some trouble, so beware (shopping sprees, gambling, etc). You are lucky you can escape to warmer climes. That in itself helps me feel better. Sounds like you need a mood stabilizer. See a Psychiatrist, will you?
Hypothyroidism, Fibromyalgia, Facet Joint Syndrome, High Blood Pressure, menopause, Migraines, Chest Pain, Anxiety and Depression/BiPolar II
Synthyroid .075mg., estradiol.5 mgs., Amyltriptilene, 100mgs, bedtime, Tylenol 3 PRN (six-eight, daily), Valium 7.5mgs. daily prn. Flexeril, prn (not so helpful), Zoloft,150mgs., Zomig approx. 12 per month, prn., Meds for High Blood Pressure, vary.


shebsy
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 125
   Posted 2/26/2009 7:17 AM (GMT -7)   
Dear volatile,

Are you seeing a psychiatrist? Are you on any kind of medication?

Therapy and counseling will help but only with medication. You might have to keep trying till you find medication that suits you.

You will find a lot of support on this forum. I experience irritability and anger even though I am on medication. Bipolar is a terrible disorder to have.

Sheeba

serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 2/26/2009 9:00 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Volatile,

Welcome to HealingWell and to the bipolar forum. While none of us would attempt to diagnose you, you certainly seem to have some of the symptoms of bipolar, so I would definitely make an appointment with a psychiatrist soon and tell him or her what your fears are. I would choose a psych over a gp because bp is hard to diagnose. There are lots of variables and it can look like lots of other things. Many of us were misdiagnosed by gps before we were properly diagnosed by a psychiatrist. So save yourself the time and fuss and go straight to someone who knows the ins and outs of mental disorders.

I'm sorry to hear about your struggles though. I can certainly relate, as I'm sure many of us can. The sleeplessness, the hyper-energy, the lack of interest in life. It's enough to drive you batty. But hang in there, and give the therapy a fighting chance. The therapy, along with a properly treated diagnosis, can really help you improve. I couldn't live without my therapist.

serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II


volatile
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 7
   Posted 2/26/2009 6:56 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks everyone for responding.

To answer a few of your questions, I am not on medication but I am going to a psychiatrist for the first time starting Tuesday. I spoke with her on the phone today (the psychiatrist) and she seemed nice... My mother, however, has expressed that she really isn't keen on the idea of me being on medication, but would, of course, be open to a professional opinion. I am wary of it myself, however at this point I'll do anything not to feel this flighty...

tyno3, I noticed that you are hypothyroid. I found that interesting because I have been hypothyroid since I was born (My thyroid was actually underdeveloped and nonfunctioning at birth, so it was removed and I've been on medication since I was about two weeks old) My current dose is 125 mcg of synthroid, but that diagnosis has been a hardship in itself. For years, come to find out, I was undermedicated and have been flucuating dosages just to get myself back on track for a while now. Is it possible that my thyroid hormones could be unstable still, and thus triggering some of these feelings?
It's just a mere prediction. Because I have read a number of articles linking thyroid disorders with bipolar ones.

This is all a mystery. I hope it gets solved sooner than later.

Thank you all.

maggiern
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 223
   Posted 3/2/2009 5:11 PM (GMT -7)   
When someone else like a parent is not keen about you taking medication for your illness is because of the sterio typing some put on you when you take meds.  Get to that doc and tell the truth do not hold anything back and they will start you on meds, and remember it may take a few different meds to get the correct needed effects of the drug.  Do not lose hope, hang in there and you will eventually get the right meds.

volatile
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 7
   Posted 3/4/2009 9:55 AM (GMT -7)   
Well, I'm not really sure what to do. I had my first session yesterday. I told her about everything- my eating patterns, my mood swings, my sleeping patterns, my severe depression- even suicidal at times, being inexplicably hyper, poor concentration, social withdraw, lack of interest, and head/body aches. Then I talked about whatever I wanted to talk about. She asked me how I felt about medication and I said I wasn't sure, that I wouldn't totally disqualify the idea but wanted to give it a few sessions. She said that was fair. But the truth is, I'm afraid my mom won't understand or that she will think I am simply not trying hard enough to "figure it out" (she's not as mean as she sounds, i just dont think she knows how to accept whats happening) She is the one funding this care so I feel obligated to do things her way.

serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 3/4/2009 10:48 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi volatile,

She may be funding it, but she's also going to have to take the word of your doctor. I think you were very wise to say you wanted to give it a few sessions. Try it out, see what the doc says, and then discuss medication. I have to tell you that I think medication is very helpful. Your mom may view it skeptically, but it has truly changed lives. Tell the doc about your mother's concerns and ask how to approach the topic with her. Doctors are familiar with patients' families being resistant. She will help you find ways to talk about the medication with your mother which will be productive for both of you.

serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II

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