Hey BD_spouse. I've struggled with this as well. Patience. Patience until his meds stabilize and then you can get some. You need to get creative with the cuddling and touching. Maybe spice it up for yourself in front of him- sometimes visuals help? Just giving suggestions.
I have had to make babysitting arrangements for an afternoon alone at home. Something about it just being he and I home alone works. Tell him what you want. Sometimes, plain old communication works. Sometimes it doesn't because they can't help it and then you're back at patience.
You know, after sex being such a HUGE part if my life, it has been very weird for me to live a life that does not inculde it. It being gone we have learned to have more dinners together, snuggle more, and generally spend more time together. So all in all, for every minus in life there are normally some positives that help take up the slack. My wife is on meds also so her sex drive is shot also. However all that said, i still try to be romantic and affectionate, at this point its all i can do and hope for the best.
Sorry to hear you are in a rough spot right now. I know how hard it an be when you are going thru this kind of thing. I really don't know what to tell you that would help. Just offer affection when you feel like it. Not try to start something up or anything, just throw a hug or kiss on him when the feeling hits you, scratch his back or rub his shoulders without being asked to, just remember you may not get anything back, but you might be suprised too, & just a return squeeze or stroke will do wonders for you. I know it sucks, you are already having to do everything (right there with you) & you would think that this stuff would just be a natural, but this condition is demanding & sometimes everything isn't enough for them. You feel like you just can't win because you give so much to get so little back.
As for the sex part, I can say this, it's a lot harder for a man to "go thru the motions" then it is a woman. If a guy isn't feeling it then they aren't, Having the meds on top of it does not help at all. For me, I can always tell when my wife isn't into it (she usually reminds me before or after too)& it really takes away from it. I always tell her that if she doesn't want to then don't. I would rather have less sex & it be ginuine, then have it more often & her not be into it (then have to hear how much she isn't into it & only does it so I don't cheat etc..). I'm sure it's tough to try to believe that a man doesn't want it all the time, but there are a lot of times when that is the case. Like others have told you, be patient & try to take your opportunities when you can, you may have to do all the work there too, but that isn't always a bad thing. Who knows, in a couple of months he could cyle around & look out! Before you know it you'll be wishing he would leave you alone so you could get some sleep! lol
BTW, how has he been handling his grandfather passing? I'm assuming no news is good news on that front.
Take care & good luck!