I hate to hear you are going thru such a tough time right now. I am sure you are at your wits end. Try to get some time to yourself to decompress, even if it is only for a couple hours. Maybe the doc can put him on something else that may help his moods stabilize better. I can understand your feeling like you are getting shafted having to deal with this & feeling unappreciated. Sadly though, that is something you will just have to deal with, he will probably never fully understand the sacrifice that you make for him. He may get a small idea, but that will be about it. You said "He should be kissing the ground I walk on for EVERYTHING I have to put with with his illness!" Trust me, I know EXACTLY how you feel, I have been there too. When my wife was doing a lot of the same things, she would take her illness out on me & blame me for everything. Then I would have to hear how lucky I was she was even still with me. That's about when those thoughts would go thru my head. I know you are probably just venting, but these thoughts can be poisonous in dealing with his illness & if you cling to those thoughts, you are setting yourself up for dissapointment. Remember your decision to stay is exactly that, your decision.
Cling to the hope in knowing that with the right meds this condition is controlable. It will always be with him, but it is possible to control it if HE wants to. I know how hard it is being married to a BP, I would say it is harder when it is the husband who has it, as men usually tend to refuse medical help & deny anything is wrong & so on. Just keep in mind that you are not alone that you have soulders to lean on here when you need it.
wishing you the best,
I just read your post. As I said before, I don't know your husband's case history on his illness but him being committed and actively pursuing getting help for it is KEY!
He should be meeting with his pdoc on a regular basis for medication adjustments until they get it right and he needs to be involved in talk therapy to discuss and learn how to manage his emotions. It takes a lot of commitment and hard work on his part. If he is not cooperating it is going to be a living hell for both of you.
I've been committed to my wellness program for years. That doesn't mean that I still don't struggle with issues but my family knows what is me and when something is starting to get out of whack and that I need to bring more attention to alerting my pdoc & therapist so that things don't get out of hand.
I hope your husband is willing to be active & committed to his wellness program for him and your family.
Post Edited By Moderator (serafena) : 3/17/2009 9:08:03 AM (GMT-6)
Hope everything is getting a little better for you. I have been here every day reading up on everyone, but hve been trying to lay a little low with responces because I have a feeling my shoulder is being looked over if you know what I mean. Just some comments have been made lately about some things I have said that I have only said here, makes me think I am being cheked up on. My wife is starting to cycle into her manic period & I don't want to give her material to feed it with. Plus the spouces have been kinda quiet lately so I haven't had much to reply to, but be sure I am here reading every day.