I think my DH is bipolar

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Simcoe
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 3/16/2009 5:42 PM (GMT -7)   
My life seems like a trainwreck at the moment. I've been reading the stories here and they all sound so familiar!

We've been married just over 11 years, together since 1992. We have a DD who will be 10 next month. There's always seemed to be something 'off' about DH, but I've just attributed it to him being emotionally/verbally abusive due to bad upbringing and bad temper.

For the past few months, DH has been hanging with myself and my friend on Friday nights here at our place. Last weekend, we planned to do our Friday event at another friend's house because it started as a girl's night thing that DH has taken over and our other friend has felt left out. He now expects that every Friday night we will be here while he cooks and takes over the conversation. So we went to other friend's house (DH can't stand her DH so didn't come). He had a FIT! He called there 5 or 6 times and got more and more unpleasant. I ended up spending the night there because I didn't want to deal with him.

When I got home early in the morning, he freaked out on me and started yelling at me. I was trying to go back to sleep and he BLASTED the stereo, but realized what he was doing and shut it back off. He was being completely over the top and I told him I wanted a divorce. Of course, our problems are MY fault.

The guy can be mean, spiteful and very immature. He doesn't handle anything well and flies off the handle easily. He can also be loving and generous and deep down is a good guy. He really has good intentions, just doesn't always know how to behave when he's frustrated.

I really think his perception of reality is completely off right now. There's a history of bi-polar in his family and I made him go on meds before I married him and things got much better. Of course, he quit them a few months later.

He's still acting like this is all my fault and everything that has ever gone wrong in his life is my fault. Now it's my fault I didn't pay his credit card bill on time. He's never paid a freakin' bill the whole time we've been married!

I can't believe the power I have over him. According to him, his behaviour and the result of it is my fault.

He hates himself. He's going to see a doctor. And I refuse to see my part in all of this because I push him away. OF COURSE I DO! He's a ******* most of the time.

He asked me to give him a few weeks to see if things change. He went to the Dr. and was prescribed Lexapro.

Does this sound like Bipolar?


{I edited out some strong language -- Serafena}

Post Edited By Moderator (serafena) : 3/17/2009 8:57:40 AM (GMT-6)


serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 3/17/2009 8:05 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Simcoe,

Welcome to HealingWell and to the bipolar board.

Nothing you write here sounds specifically like bipolar. Bipolar can look like lots of other disorders as well. If he went to the doctor and was prescribed Lexapro, he was most likely diagnosed as depressed. If the doctor diagnosed him as bipolar, he wouldn't have given him just Lexapro as anti-depressants can make mania worse in bipolar patients. Sometimes odd behavior is because of bipolar, sometimes it's just the person's personality. Did he see a psychiatrist or a gp? I really recommend that if you are looking for a true evaluation of symptoms you see a psych. They are much better trained in mental disorders.

However, it sounds to me like you are done with this marriage. You sound like you have no affection or compassion left for him. Whatever his mental disorder, it's going to require both for you to stick with him and stick by him through tough times. Bipolar Disorder is especially tough to live with at times. Decide if you have the stamina for that.

Good luck,
serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II


Simcoe
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 3/17/2009 10:21 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks for your response and I apologize for the strong language. redface
 
I'm sorry if I come off as uncaring. I am just SO tired of his behaviour. He becomes annoyed and flies off the handle at the slightest things. He accuses me of deliberately undermining him. He refuses to accept that it's his behaviour that has made me push him away and blames our problems on my withdrawal. If I try to address behaviours that are bothering me, he accuses me of trying to start a fight. There is no way I can get any resolution. It's exhausting!
 
I'm actually hoping that he does have an identifiable problem. Then at least we'd have something to work with and meds may help. I do love him deeply and have stuck by him all this time. I just don't like him very much cry

serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 3/17/2009 3:14 PM (GMT -7)   
I totally understand. Ask your husband if you can go to his next psychiatrist appointment with him. Tell him you want to learn how to be a better partner to him while he heals. Talk to the doctor about his diagnosis and ask if there are ways that you can help. Ask what you can expect. Tell the doctor about one or two problems which are specifically troubling you (keep this discussion kind -- your husband will be right there :-)) and ask him/her what s/he recommends as the best course of action. You may learn how to be more patient and how to engage more productively with him. He may learn what the doctor expects him to be able to do and how he should speak to you. It's not guaranteed, but it can't hurt.

serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II

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