Sick of Being Mis-Diagnosed

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

SadNotBiPo
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 3/17/2009 10:06 AM (GMT -7)   
nono  I'm really tired of my family mis-Diagnosing me. I have went to Counselors and they all say I am only depressed. My family insist that I will not get a proper diagnoses because they say that I mislead Therapist. Could this be true? Could I be misleading them? No, I don't tell them everything about my life why should they need to know. Their doctors they should know what is going on whether I tell them or not.
Yes I have tried to commit suicide on two occassions and almost quiet successful on one attempt. That doesn't make me bipolar. I am sure that everyone has had those thoughts from time to time. I still have those thoughts but I am able to control them. I know I have some good things in my life and those things keep me going and even if I am sad most of the time I can find some happiness. This does not make me Bi-polar!
They say I can not manage money. I believe I do very well. All the bills get paid. Yes ever so often I endulge in things but the way our economy is I believe I am actually quiet frugal considering. Yes I buy things I do not need but doesn't everyone. This does not make me bipolar.
Yes I'm a bit eccentric but I'm a artist. I enjoy creating things. Sometimes I get in a slump and don't produce. That doesn't make me bipolar. Sometimes I like everything to be black sometimes multi-colored. This doesn't make me bi-polar.
I believe people are guilty til proven innocent. Its a precaution that most of us take and want admit it. This does not make me bi-polar!
I look at the world a different way than most I guess. But, most of the time I'm right. This does not make me bipolar. And yes there are times I feel like I screw everything up and I am certain we all feel that way. This does not make me Bi-Polar!
Yes I get angry and I may throw something I may even yell. This does not make me bi-polar.
Sometimes I have to make an extra effort to be happy. This does not make me bi-polar.
I am a cheater! That does not make me Bi-polar! People do it for many reasons and unless you know the whole story then you do not understand. I am not BI-POLAR! And this does not make me Bi-polar!
No, I don't mind telling the docs I was sexually abused but I don't like going into details. That doesn't make me bi-polar.
I don't tell them I have cheated! It's none of their business.
I avoid their financial questions. That to is none of their business!
I am not Bi-polar!
I have been on alot of medications. No I don't take them. Or I might for a while then I just stop. I don't think they help. Even though Family will claim they do. I know they don't because I've tested the theory. I spent a whole month not taking them and everyone thought I was. No one complained about the sometime outburst that occurred due to them being completely retarded. Why should I allow people to say things to me. If I was what you call a normal person I would not stand there and take it. So, yes I lash out.
I sometimes get irritated when I'm depressed and ppl constantly ask me whats wrong and I might snap. Anyone would you can only say pls I'm fine pls leave it alone so many times.
These things do not make me Bi-polar.
Yes I have panic attacks in crowded places these things do not make me bi-polar.
I don't like crowds and I don't like most people. My personality conflicts with theirs. Its simply a society thing not a mental thing.
Yes I have up moods where I can accomplish many things we all do. I have down moods where I can accomplish nothing we all do! I am not bi-polar I am sick of people telling me that I am. Just because its became a big media frenzy with Brittany Spears instantly everyone is Bi-Polar!
What more can I say to convince these people that I am not BI-POLAR! and also not Paranoid.
 
What test can I have scheduled that I can not cheat? (And prove to the family once and for all that I am none of these things.)
 
 
Let me add that people that this was not to be negative toward people that are suffering with Bi-Polar disorder. But, I am not and I am just simply looking for a way to prove that I am not so that I stop running the fear that my family is trying to lock me up.

Post Edited (SadNotBiPo) : 3/17/2009 12:28:35 PM (GMT-6)


serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 3/17/2009 3:30 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi SadNotBiPo,

Welcome to HealingWell and to the bipolar board. There's only one way to get a true diagnosis of a mental disorder -- depression, bipolar or otherwise. That's to see a qualified psychiatrist for an evaluation.

Here's the thing, you've got to be ready for the diagnosis WHATEVER it may be. You're resisting so hard, you may not be seeing the forest for the trees. Mania is not the sort of thing "everyone" gets. Not everyone spends a little extra money the way a manic person does, or has a little extra energy the way a manic person does. We're talking super-charged.

I sense you're not being completely honest with yourself about the extent of your illness. Please make an appointment for a psych soon. And don't fight the bipolar diagnosis if that's what it turns out to be. There are many worse fates. And I assure you, you won't be automatically "locked up".
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II


inertia
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 48
   Posted 3/17/2009 4:04 PM (GMT -7)   
Just keep working with your doctors...your family are not liscenced to diagnose you (but they can give you a second perspective). But I'd advice for the medications if you don't think they're doing anything talk to the Dr before you stop taking them, that can have very very bad effects on your body.

Bipolar II is a BP that is characterized by episodes of major depression...then normalcy or maybe mixed states....but not full mania. Then again, major depression also is marked by irritability which might be missleading to your family. I was misdiagnozed for about 9 years until I was told I was BP II (I had suspected but no one listened to me, I'd only get treatment while depressed...then after the depression phase was over the doctors and my family were all like, "you're better now no need to see the Dr anymore").

There is no set test for BP, they usualy give you a general questionaire and then narrow down the options during treatment. Also they are now finding that the brain of somene with BP is physicaly diffrent than a healty person (they same goes for depressed & psychophrenics but they all look diffrent from each other), theres somthing you can't even try to cheat on; but its probably expensive and a newer thing.

inertia
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 48
   Posted 3/17/2009 4:05 PM (GMT -7)   
sorry...you'd need an MRI to see the diffrence in the brain. should've mentioned the way of doing it, lol :)

SadNotBiPo
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 3/17/2009 8:49 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks for the replies. I'm not ready for any diagnoses. I know that some people just know their bi-polar, Paranoid, ect. and that they want help.
But, I just know I am not and I just want to be left alone.

serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 3/18/2009 9:10 AM (GMT -7)   
Then I wonder why you came to the bipolar board looking for advice... The only way to find out if you are or not is with a diagnosis.
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II


SadNotBiPo
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 3/18/2009 11:23 AM (GMT -7)   
No I came here looking for the test I need to ask my Psych for so that I can get this cleared up and move on. I am not ready because I strongly believe I will not be given a diagnoses. But, I figured if anyone know the test then you guys would. My insurance is very specific about what it will and will not pay for so I also had to make sure it was something I could get done. But, that is why I came so far I have a MRI on my list and I visit my doctor this week. Thanks

serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 3/18/2009 11:43 AM (GMT -7)   
Unfortunately there is no test for bipolar. There is only a consultation with your doctor. Best of luck.

serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II


mommy.michele
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 369
   Posted 3/18/2009 8:31 PM (GMT -7)   
I am sorry that you feel so dead set against a certain diagnosis. Being diagnosed as bipolar is not a death sentence. There are many of us living normal, functional lives as bipolar adults. And I do not think any of us asked for this diagnosis.
Once you get to the place in your life, when you are fully open, honest and truly want to better your life....you need to bring that openness and honesty to a therapist or pdoc. You are never going to be correctly diagnosed until you are honest about everything, no matter how painful it is to admit it. Whatever you are suffering from, you are on a dangerous course by trying to self diagnose.
Good luck to you.
"Just because you're in the driver's seat, doesn't mean
you have to run people over." ~ Fred Pausch


SadNotBiPo
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 3/19/2009 12:34 PM (GMT -7)   
I guess I'm more afraid of what my family might do. After rationally talking with someone that I respect a great deal, not mentioning any of my own issues, but hearing how they deal with life struggling with Catatonic Schitzophrenia I have realized there are people that I thought were what our society dub as normal living lives that they would also dub as normal living with problems that they could not help but they deal with very well.
The truth is I lie and I don't know why. I always have most of the time its to protect myself or someone else and at other times its to make myself feel better. I have even convinced myself of things that I have no proof to back up. I guess this is a very good day to come to this since I have a new therapist that I have not lied to yet. I've been struggling with the truth for years but only this past month did I see a problem to myself. I came here hoping you all would tell me I was fine. Your ok these are my symptoms and you are nothing like that. That is not what happened.
I've cheated on the love of life, most of my life thinking he didn't care or he didn't love me. Or to get what I wanted. Usually only ending badly. It finally stopped a few years back not that the notion was not and has not always been there. Just because I did not put myself in the position that it was possible anymore. I became a bit recluse. I don't go out much because I'm afraid of what I might do. I have limited contact with my family because I find they anger me on most occassions and I'm afraid what they might do.
I have a tendency to steal small things and I don't know why.
How can I look someone in the face and tell them these things? How will it help to tell them what a horrible person I am?
There was a time I thought God had chosen me and then I took the wrong path and I was no longer in his Graces. I still struggle with that because I did think that I was chosen for something but I failed to fulfill it and now I don't know if I ever can. I went wrong somewheres down the line.
At 16yrs old I almost committed suicide I hated my therapist. Two weeks after I encountered him he fell off a house and died. I honestly thought I did it. I thought I had so much hate for him and so much evil inside me for turning away from God that I some how did it.
I guess if they lock me up I'll deserve it. I guess with the appt that is coming up today I've finally decided to be honest with myself and with my new doctor. This will be hard. I'm almost afraid that I will get there and start telling the doctor things that aren't true again. I'm not sure if I will or not but I will try not to. Thanks for all the advice. Thanks for your Candid response Michele it is one I got from a friend recently. I guess I deserve that. I guess I'm more honest at my lowest point. I'm broken now so hopefully I can be fixed.

Post Edited (SadNotBiPo) : 3/19/2009 1:37:26 PM (GMT-6)


inertia
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 48
   Posted 3/19/2009 4:43 PM (GMT -7)   
You're doing the right thing sweetie. It is hard, sometimes it is shameful but honesty is the only way a doctor can help you. and its the only way you can help yourself.

Don't blame yourself for something that happened so long ago I know it sounds cliche but it wasn't your fault. you should mention that guilt to your new doctor also, its probably eating you inside and you may not even be aware of the damage its doing. And regardless of the religion, god dosn't abandon his children. If it brings you comfort to pray to him, do it. alot of people do get solace and strength from their religion the higher powers are there to carry us in our darkest hour; you won't be turned away if you turn to it.

delias
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 3/19/2009 7:10 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi there,

I read your post and my heart really goes out to you. Labels are so frustrating. The thing about diagnosis is that there are so many 'disorders' that have overlapping symptoms. I am not a doctor, or a therapist, or an expert in any way, but I did feel like I wanted to share some things with you about what I have experienced in the hopes it might help you find your own way with whatever problems you might be struggling with.I always knew something was 'wrong' with me. I knew that there was something wrong with my head. I knew even when I was a child something was wrong. I could see that other kids didn't seem to have the same struggles I did. I knew life shouldn't have to feel so bad, and I could never figure out what was 'wrong' with me. I think some people really do simply have a chemical imbalance in their brain that holds them back in some way. With those people, medications seem to help. I was in and out of counsellors offices, saw a few psychiatrists, was hospitalized twice, and saw just about every type of therapist you can think of. Cognitive-behavioral therapists, social workers, psychotherapists, etc. I tried a lot of different therapy approaches, nothing seemed to help me. When I was hospitalized, I had all sorts of tests done. Sleep studies, they gave me MRI's, looked at my what my brain was doing awake and asleep, monitored my brain activity. I was given stacks and stacks of psychological tests. Because of some of my beliefs, I answered some test questions according to those beliefs. Like do I believe people can have extra sensory perception...do I believe I have 'special powers'. Well, yes to a degree, I think everybody has a certain level of intuition. So I answered yes to those types of questions, not because I thought I was god, or had god-like powers, or anything even close to that. Simply because I believe everyone has intuition. Because of this, the doctors labeled me to have 'schizotypal' tendencies at the time. Which I do not actually have. I just believe some people have gifts and are extremely sensitive to things. I don't think I am psychic. But I think some people do have that ability. All of this because of a few questions on a psychological test. Towards the end of my hospital stay, they could not figure out what my diagnosis was. The only thing they could say was that I was possibly bipolar, but that I would have to be one of the most rapidly cycling bi-polars they had ever seen. I was tried of so many different types of medication. Different mood stabilisers, anti-depressants, anti-anxiety meds, even ridalin at one stage. None of it made any changes for me, or changed how I felt in any area of my life. That was almost 10 years ago. My family, or rather, my mother, has always been more comfortable with the idea that there is a chemical imbalance in my brain and I need medication. I've been in good, solid therapy for two years now, with a counsellor who I really trust, finally. It is so hard to find a good counsellor. Not because most of them are bad, but because it is hard to find a counsellor who is a 'good fit' for you. My situation ended up being that I wasn't bi-polar, or borderline, or any of the other diagnoses I thought I might fit. For me, I started to make progress and feel better once I had found a counsellor who listened to me, I could trust and establish a relationship with, and who wasn't so preoccupied with labels. Because she wasn't preoccupied with labels, we just talked about what my problems actually were and started to work through them. That is what has helped me the most, so far. My mother doesn't cope very well with the idea that a lot of my problems started as a result of our family life when I was younger. She doesn't want to feel like anything she did could have caused me to have the kinds of problems that I do now. That's understandable, and it's understandable then that she would want to cling to the belief that it is something genetically wrong with my brain, some chemical problem that affects me. I'm not saying you should abandon the perspectives of your doctors, or your family altogether. But at the end of the day, you know yourself best. You know how you feel, you know what you struggle with. I got so preoccupied with trying to find a label to fit myself into that all of my energy went into that instead of going into finding the help that I really needed. I couldn't trust myself because of all the other 'expert' opinions that were out there, and as long as I tried to find an 'expert' opinion that fit, I just got nowhere. There are a lot of things for which medication doesn't solve the problem. Sometimes it can help take the edge off, but it doesn't solve the problem. If you were abused, then you'll probably have some wounds there, it will be affecting your life in so many ways. A pill cannot take away how you adapted to survive that abuse. Only introspection, hard work, and a therapist who you feel safe enough to be completely honest with can really help you do that. I don't know the full story of your situation. Only you know that. But I guess what I am trying to say is, you are first and foremost a person, a human being, with a whole life history of experiences. You are not a diagnosis. You've probably adapted yourself, your feelings, and your behavior to suit the experiences that you have had in your life. So as stupid as it might sound, don't be disheartened. Maybe you do have bi-polar disorder and maybe you don't. Either way, it sounds like you are hurting about something, and you need some help with it. What really matters at the end of the day is that you find help that works for you, helps you get better, and helps you feel better and cope better. I hope there might be something in this rather long post that might help you with your situation. I am not a doctor or an expert like I said, but I have been struggling and fighting myself for years, and for me, what really worked was not focusing on a diagnosis, but instead just going with what I knew on the inside I needed in order to heal (and sometimes those things were the complete opposite of what a doctor would have told me).


mommy.michele
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 369
   Posted 3/20/2009 1:00 PM (GMT -7)   
It is very hard to outright and honest about our past regressions. But trust me, you are not the first person that has had to do this with a therapist...and you will not be the last. You have to admit to everything to truly be helped. In time you will learn that everything bad you said that you did....that many of those things are common for bipolar sufferers. Getting over the guilt and moving on is an important step.
"Just because you're in the driver's seat, doesn't mean
you have to run people over." ~ Fred Pausch

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Wednesday, December 07, 2016 9:10 PM (GMT -7)
There are a total of 2,734,464 posts in 301,216 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 151332 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, Blueswoman.
306 Guest(s), 7 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
DQueen, Charmed3, mspt98, time2reclaim, Suffering34, Red_34, Yarbo3


Follow HealingWell.com on Facebook  Follow HealingWell.com on Twitter  Follow HealingWell.com on Pinterest
Advertisement
Advertisement

©1996-2016 HealingWell.com LLC  All rights reserved.

Advertise | Privacy Policy & Disclaimer