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mogli
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1191
   Posted 3/19/2009 3:50 AM (GMT -7)   
Ugh...Not good.  I have slipped into an episode of deep depression the last few days and I'm really struggling.  I have to leave for work in a few minutes.  I don't want to go.  I am not even functioning.  Everything is slow motion right now and my energy is gone completely.  Even typing right now is difficult.  I am anxious about how long this episode will last.  I see the pdoc next Friday, he's away right now.  Haven't had an episode like this for at least 2 months now.
 
Anyway, thanks for reading.  Just wanted to get this out before my work day.  Hugs to you all.
Mogs
 
Bipolar II, Anxiety/Panic Disorder
Clonazepam .5mg as needed, Risperdal .5mg/day & Lamictal 325 mg/day


shebsy
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 125
   Posted 3/19/2009 7:16 AM (GMT -7)   
Dear Mogli,

This is how I am feeling. Even though I am taking anti-depressants, I feel everything around me is in slow motion. I can't find the energy to complete my work, can't find the energy to talk to anyone, can't find the energy to even make myself a cup of coffee. Nothing is energizing me and I am in dumps. Things are slightly better from 2 weeks ago when I was crying everyday, but things are not dramatically better. My colleagues at work do not understand depression :(

Why does bipolar have to be so hard?

Sheeba

serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 3/19/2009 8:00 AM (GMT -7)   
Oh,

I'm so sorry for both of you. Keep working, keep going, keep slogging through. You'll be okay. Shebsy -- call your doc! (((Hugs))) You have my thoughts and affection.

serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II


mommy.michele
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 369
   Posted 3/19/2009 8:08 AM (GMT -7)   
I am sorry that you both are going through this crap right now. Gosh being severly depressed is not fun. Remember that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and you will make it through. Try and do something that usually brings a smile to your face :)

((((((hugs))))))
"Just because you're in the driver's seat, doesn't mean
you have to run people over." ~ Fred Pausch


mogli
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1191
   Posted 3/22/2009 7:38 AM (GMT -7)   

Thanks for all of your support.

Shebsy, how are you feeling today?  I had some really low days, then it seemed to lift a tiny bit..Then last night had a fight with my bf, so now I'm feeling low again.  And I have to go back to work tomorrow, ugh.  I really hate working.  It so hard to do really.  I wish I didn't have to.  I know I would qualify for disability, but it's not nearly enough money.  I guess I wouldn't like not working at all either.  What I really wish is that employers would understand mental illness and offer (unpaid) mental health days to those that suffer.  I could use those here and there to help me cope.

Anyway, hope you are well.  Serafena & mommymichelle, thanks for your support. I am trying to fight this and remember this will pass.

Hugs to you all,

Mogs


Mogs
 
Bipolar II, Anxiety/Panic Disorder
Clonazepam .5mg as needed, Risperdal .5mg/day & Lamictal 325 mg/day


loving frustrated wife
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 865
   Posted 3/22/2009 11:26 AM (GMT -7)   
Mogs, I am so sorry you are struggling again. YES, THIS TOO SHALL PASS. It is BP and it always DOES!!!!!!!!!!!! Hang tough and know, BP OR NOT, you are not alone in the not wanting to go to work part. With my boss, it is totally awful not knowing what kind of day I can count on from him, so DAILY I have to force myself to go in and cope with whatever comes until I find a new job. I do it because it is something in life we must all do....work. I need the money, as do you. SO....we cope. THAT is what we do. You ARE big enough and strong enough to handle that. I just know you are. But I do understand it doesn't always "feel" good. I can certainly relate. As to the depression...pull out the comedies, tell your bf you need a break from ALL talking, you need laughter and a good long soak in a tub with lavender and rose scent! Maybe a few candles to boot! Then....nice warm chocolate cookies fresh from the oven (make a batch…I like mine with walnuts). And a good piece of fish and vegetables grilled for dinner with some warm chamomile tea before bed. Get a good night sleep. open your eyes, take a deep breath, and see tomorrow as a BRAND NEW DAY that can be filled with all the possibilities we CHOOSE to let it have….fresh, clean and happy. I'm pulling for you Mogli....hang in there and be good to yourself!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LFW
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