This much I know, you need to contact her pdoc asap. I know you mentioned the counsellor was going to call, it doesn't hurt for you to call as well. She definitely needs to touch base there. I have empathy for you. My bp hasn't landed me in the hospital for more than one night; I can't imagine a longer stay. It's different with me though, b/c I deal with depression most of the time. What your wife is experiencing definitely sounds like mania to me.
I really admire how much you know about bp and what to do. Really. You might feel like you have no idea what you're doing, but compared to my relationship, Wow, I am amazed. I'm always amazed at some of the super supportive (and well bp-educated) partners on this forum. My bf loves me so much. And I can say for sure that he hates what this illness puts me through. But he doesn't recognize my sypmtoms and sometimes he doesn't cut me a break or understand what I am dealing with basically.
Anyway, I will keep your wife in my thoughts. I hope she can see that she needs her meds and that by taking her meds she will start her path to healing. Trust me, the whole med treatment part is so tough. Half the battle is figuring out the right combo of meds, and that can take a lot of time. The sooner she starts, the better.
How did the meeting go? How is your wife doing? Hopefully things have settled down? I feel for what you are going through. It sounds like you have got things pretty together, for yourself. If you've done a lot to change for the better, that's a very positive thing, you should be proud of yourself. You also seem to be such a great support for your son and for your wife. I really do hope things get better for all of you.
I really feel for you. I know it is so tough right now. I can't imagine dealing with her condition plus an addiction on top of it. Good for you for starting to get yourself in order. Take care of you & it will help you to take care of her. That is probably where part of the "you're perfect" is coming from. It is probably a defence mechanism, she may be afraid that you are "leaving her behind" or something like that.
As far as getting her admitted, she definatly need some help, but unless she is a danger to herself or others, that is her choice. Try to go to the p-doc with her, & keep going to counseling together & DON'T CLAM UP! The info you give may be the only reliable info they get as to what is going on.
Try to talk to your son, he is old enough to know the truth, let him know that you are going to stick by his mother & try to get her help. Ask him to join you in trying to help her. Sadly though she has got to want to pull out of this herself, and it doesn't sound like she is ready to.
Best of luck to you,
Thanks for the kind words . . . We talked yesterday and she admits where she knows she has done damage. She says she is tired of being a "Foul-Up" but continues to medicate and or hurt herself. During a drunken night we got in to a shoving match (Something I should have avoided) But hold that single incident over my head like there is no tomorrow . . . While she has basically lied, cheated, stole etc . . . over the past few years . . . Anyway . . . I am not trying to judge or quantify her bads vs mine . . . I called our counsellor and she basically said she is in a very serious case of denial where all of her problems are everyone elses fault from as far back as she can remember. I am trying to love her the best i can but it is not easy. I am really trapped . . . i did speak to a lawyer and he said I'm screwed . . . She has no life skills, not job etc . . . There would be a really good chance i would need to leave the house and pay child support and allimony??
Where I am the stable one in the relationship i can not afford having my son in that situation. Nor can I or she afford a lawyer right now . . . I have hope and I pray. I am working my program (AlAnon) keeping busy. Live and let live, let go and let god. i do feel good where I know I am not contributing to the problem by fighting, arguing etc . . . Most of my aswers are just a simple OK. I didn't cause it, i can't cure it and I can't control it . . .
She says she is going to get some help for her BP but refuses to go to AA or admit she has an addiction problem.
That's all for now . . . Thanks for the support