I recently sought help for depression in Jan but I also have this other side of me that was literally destroying me and I couldn't take it anymore. The dr I saw said bipolar but long story short she didn't really elaborate, I had my 2.5yr old with me so it was very distracting. I didn't get the answers I needed at the time but I was very optimistic about
the meds prescribed because of my symptoms. And I often wondered if I could be. So in all this time I've been looking up as much information as I could about
bipolar, mostly looking at hypomania or bpII because I don't fit in with full blown mania. But everything I've been reading I can't relate to and it didn't describe what I was feeling. So for some reason today I decided to look up the symptoms for anxiety and I have almost all of them. (GAD) So I wanted to describe to you all what I experience just to get your advice. I'm going back to the Dr on the 10th because I need a higher dose in my meds because they haven't been working in the last month and I had planned to ask a lot of questions because I'm desperate to know what's happening with me. This is what I experience: I have a racing mind, I think about
everything and it almost feels like my mind is in a frenzy and I talk to myself outloud because it helps to get it out. I literally get headaches because of my racing thoughts. I worry, I feel stressed,tense unable to relax I feel like I can't just sit down I have to be moving and all I want to do is focus or dwell on what I'm thinking about
and I can't focus or concentrate on normal everday things. I get irritable and naseas (spelling?). I almost feel a sense of hyperness in the center of my body
and I can't calm it down. I procrastinate a lot and once I do finally sit down I'm exhausted. I don't want to sound like I'm a walking crazy person but these are my symptoms. I also suffer from depression and feeling this way leads me to the depression because I literally hate myself because I'm like this. But I also have other issues that cause depression. Could this be anxiety? I've looked up OCD and I don't have any compulsions or the symptoms of OCD obession thoughts. I can't have a "normal" day ever when I experience this other side of me. I am so lost as to what this is, mania anxiety? I just cannot relate to anything I read about
mania. I do not feel happy at all when I'm like this. I also can feel totally normal when I'm around other people or if I'm out and about
but once I'm alone this is the way I am. Sometimes it leads me to believe I can control it because it just doesn't make sense that it only seems to happen when I'm alone and isolated. I know talking with my Dr will be my best outcome for the info I'm seeking but I have nobody to turn to right now. Anyway, thanks for any insight!
Sought help Jan 2009
Taking 100mg Lamictal and 25mg Strattera.