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evilhippiechild
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 3/26/2009 1:30 PM (GMT -7)   
confused  Nothing seems to work anymore. I just turned 30 and I'm a failed musician. I've lost all hope in there being a "God" and I don't think I ever really believed in the first place. The only thing I have going for me is my lovely wife and I know she would be better off without me! I just don't want this life anymore. I don't want anything anymore. It's all a hoax and I want no part of it!

olivia of course
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1523
   Posted 3/26/2009 2:09 PM (GMT -7)   
evilhippiechild,

I am glad that you took the time to post us a message that you are reaching out and looking for help. We are here for you, so please do don't hesitate to post about your feelings of depression.

Below are list of crisis numbers that can handy to you.


U.S. Helplines


The US Suicide Hotline 1-800-784-2433

NDMDA Depression Hotline | Support Group. 800-826-3632

Suicide Prevention Services Crisis Hotline 800-784-2433

Suicide Prevention Services Depression Hotline 630-482-9696


Crisis Help Line | For Any Kind of Crisis 800-233-4357


Suicide & Depression Hotline | Covenant House 800-999-9999
Olivia
Bipolar Co-Moderator
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Only by seeking challenges can we hope to find the best in ourselves. ~Robert Rodriguez

Don't let your yesterday ruin your today.
 
 


BD_spouse
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 175
   Posted 3/26/2009 2:09 PM (GMT -7)   
I think your wife is absolutely stunning and she'd be devastated to lose you.  You said you enjoy being musical together so hold onto that.  No matter how hard it is, hold on to the good times and get to see a doc or psych fast - sounds like you need some med adjustments.
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed
by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do."
--
MARK TWAIN


Denzel
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 3/26/2009 2:11 PM (GMT -7)   
I too have felt like this. But there is always something worth living for. I'm sure you have a very loving wife who cares a lot about you.
 
Maybe you just need to try your hand at something else. Maybe you could set up your own music class. Or try something completely different.
 
I get real angry at God sometimes but things seem to work out eventually.
 
Just take things slowly and ease back into life=)
 
good luck

mommy.michele
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 369
   Posted 3/26/2009 3:25 PM (GMT -7)   
Please call your therapist/pdoc. You are obviously very low right now and need some help. Your wife would most definately NOT be better off without you. You just need a med adjustment right now, and a good ear to get through this rough time.
"Just because you're in the driver's seat, doesn't mean
you have to run people over." ~ Fred Pausch


mogli
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1191
   Posted 3/26/2009 4:23 PM (GMT -7)   
I am sorry to know you are feeling this way and going through all of this pain.  I can relate.  I am sure we all can here.  When I get to this point, I often call my local crisis line (we have one in our community) and honestly it almost always helps me through (through for the moment, so I can survive and keep hanging on).  Just the voice on the other end of the phone who understands, it's such a comfort in such an awful time.  We have a distress line too; I use that line as well.
 
Glad you posted.  Know that we're all pulling for you and that you truly are an important person in this world, and I am sure the most important person to your wife.  Take special care of yourself...
 
Hugs
Mogs
 
Bipolar II, Anxiety/Panic Disorder
Clonazepam .5mg as needed, Risperdal .5mg/day & Lamictal 325 mg/day


LostInThought
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 44
   Posted 3/26/2009 5:17 PM (GMT -7)   
I've been in your shoes.

There is a way out and this is not you it is your disorder. Don't let it take you from your wife. Call your therapist, call 911, call someone.
You wife loves you and you will get through this and you are not fail. Maybe you just can't concentrate. Get help please.
I just started getting help a bit over a week ago and I'm already feeling better. It will destroy your wife and everyone that loves you to be without you.
It will be ok. Trust me. Just today I feel like my life is coming together. The therapy is helping.
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