I am sorry to know you are feeling this way and going through all of this pain. I can relate. I am sure we all can here. When I get to this point, I often call my local crisis line (we have one in our community) and honestly it almost always helps me through (through for the moment, so I can survive and keep hanging on). Just the voice on the other end of the phone who understands, it's such a comfort in such an awful time. We have a distress line too; I use that line as well.
Glad you posted. Know that we're all pulling for you and that you truly are an important person in this world, and I am sure the most important person to your wife. Take special care of yourself...
Bipolar II, Anxiety/Panic Disorder
Clonazepam .5mg as needed, Risperdal .5mg/day & Lamictal 325 mg/day