It's all about me

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New Member

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 4/3/2009 1:21 AM (GMT -6)   
Hello everyone, I am a 34 year old women who was diagnosed as being bi-polar several years ago. Right now I take a couple of meds. that don't seem to work 100%, however they do keep me sane. I am very confused and feeling as though I am going into a depression. I have been in a relationship for four years with a man who likes to drink. When he is drunk he says nasty things to me but when he is sober he is nice, however our personalities do not go together. I am a very outgoing person most of the time and he is standoffish with others. Well to make a long story short I have fallen in love with a 23 year old man who wants nothing more than to be with me. He wants to take care of me and my three children and says that he knows being with me is what he wants. He knows that I am bi-polar and said he will stand beside me forever. Well I have told the man that I am in a relationship and he thinks it is all about my being bi-polar. He doesn't understand that I have fallen out of love with him and that everything I do is not because of my illness. I am happy, happier than I have been in a long time......however, everyone has given me so much hassle because of the age difference that I ended up cutting ties with this I feel as though my life hit a brick wall....
My question is "does a bi-polar person make quick decision that end up being the best thing that has happened to them or are we always doomed to have meaningless relationships" I am so lost and hurt that I just don't know if I'm coming or going and I feel angry at myself for allowing others to determine what makes me happy. Am I wrong for this......
 depression/panic attacks/anxiety attacks/eating disorder

Regular Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 44
   Posted 4/3/2009 1:31 AM (GMT -6)   
Were not doomed to have meaningless realationships but I'm in my 30's and I would question what a 20 something year old would want with me and three children. Sorry sounds fishy.
Don't stay in your current situation and suffer deal with that first then figure out your feelings.
It's never good to be in one relationship and get involved with another. Yes being Bipolar will definately cloud your judgement but it doesn't mean were always wrong.
Don't make quick decisions take a few steps back you'll end up regretting it later if you do not.

As far as the 23 yr old goes I would be cautious about letting him in. You have 3 children to think of first.

Just because something makes you happy doesn't mean its right nor does it mean its wrong. Get out of your abusive relationship and straighten yourself out first. Figure out who you are and what you want. Sounds like you have allowed yourself to second guess yourself so you apparently feel like something isn't right with the situation.

Just a few thoughts
The thing that I always worry about is child predators. If my husband left me tomorrow it would be hard for me to build a relationship with someone else because I would wonder if they were a predator and what harm might I be putting my child in.

Is the new guy looking for someone to take care of him financially ect.,

Whats his background
Mental Illness?
Drug or Alcohol abuse?
Does he have a criminal record?

Bipolar or not your a mom first. Protect your children from their current situation before you go floating in on cloud 9 to another possible bad situation.

olivia of course
Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1523
   Posted 4/3/2009 2:49 PM (GMT -6)   
Hello lovemybed.

Welcome to HealingWell and to the Bipolar Forum. I am glad you found us and I hope you find the support you are looking for here.

I am with LostInThought about your situation, you are in tough place. You are living with someone who who drinks and is abusive towards you. That is not good for you and your three children. As for the young 23 years old, I would be cautious with him. You never know what he has in mind.

Please let us know what happens.

Bipolar Co-Moderator
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Only by seeking challenges can we hope to find the best in ourselves. ~Robert Rodriguez

Don't let your yesterday ruin your today.

Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 175
   Posted 4/4/2009 1:22 PM (GMT -6)   
while i'd say to be cautious about dating a younger guy, i met my husband when he was only 21 and i was 25 - we were married 2 years later. i had a 3 year old at the time and we've since had another one... just b/c he's "young" doesn't mean he isn't capable of taking care of you or loving you and your children. of course be cautious - but you need to be cautious with EVERY man you invite to be part of your childrens' life.
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed
by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do."

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