I totally agree with you. i also am in a manic state right now. people look at me funny. I know I have a crazed look about me b/c I feel so frantic on the inside it has to show up in my face, demeanor, movements (like jerky and uncertain). This is a disease of affect. Non-medical people may not realise what affect means. You do. If I am feeling down it shows. This happens to me in the afternoons. I get really sluggish, don't want to engage, just want to lie curled up in a ball. if I have to go out when I feel like this, which I avoid like the plaque, but if I absolutely have to go somewhere, I am very easily read. people who know me ask, what's wrong. I just say I'm soooooo tired. When I go out in the morning I fly around getting things done, or so I think, at spitfire speed. People look at me and ask if I'm ok. What is felt on the inside shows on the outside. Watch Law and Order, CI. The lead detective, is Bipolar bear and I believe takes lithium, he is in real life also. That's why they have other episodes to cover when he can't keep it up. Watch him. Listen to him. Also, Anthony Hopkins; BiPolar. That's what makes him such a great actor, he emotes.
When I was in deep crisis about 7 months back, I went to crisis centre. The intake worker spoke with me for about an hour then said Ï can see it, I can hear it, you are up and down and all over the place, right. "Yup, that's why I'm here." She went straight to doc. He gave her a to do list to give me which included seeing a PDoc, within a week. I got some meds but refuse the mood stabilizers. I know, I know. I just don't like walking through this life with a blanket between me and the world, to protect me, or to protect them, I'm sure I don't know. I know this, it is better to feel it, process it and dump it in the out basket. Just don't hurt anyone.