Hello all. I am sorry that it has been a while since I have been here. Very busy with two babies - I hardly have time to breathe! Hope all is well with all of you.
I need advice. My husband thinks that I should talk to my step-father about how hurt I am over the Christmas ordeal. It is really affecting me in such a bad way. My bipolar has been acting up more since the ordeal. I am having a hard time letting go of the pain.
My mother and he suggested that we (kids) start our own Christmas tradition. Since my husbands family lives in W.V., we thought that this past Christmas we would spend it with the kids. They thought that was great. So then we thought we would have my parents over for a Christmas Eve dinner so they could see the kids for Christmas. We have a very small house and my step-siblings were going to be at mom and dad's the next day anyway so we decided not to invite them. Plus, they have never treated me as a sibling anyway. So mom and dad said that would be nice. Then dad said that he was not coming because we didn't invite my step-siblings. Then he changed his mind and decided to come. Then he changed his mind again. So my mom came and had dinner with us and my dad showed up after dinner to see the kids open their presents so much as babies can anyway. He never said a word to me or my husband. He ignored us completely. We informed him that he was not welcome in our home again until he apologized. Two weeks later after my husband went and talked to him about all of this, he apologized for all of it.
I never got the chance to talk about how I felt to him. He apologized to my husband. When he came to talk to me, all I could do was cry and could not speak. He deeply hurt me. I have always treated him as if he were my real father. I never had a real father. My father was an abusive drunk. I still hurt so badly over how my step-dad treated us. If it were one of his kids, he would not have demanded that they invite us. His real kids treat him badly and I have always tried so hard to treat him properly and with lots of love. Then this is how he treats me and my family. He is very immature, as we have discovered lately, and I really don't know how it would turn out if I spoke to him about my feelings. If you don't kiss his butt, then he doesn't seem happy with you. But anyone who thinks he is the greatest, well they are just the best to him.
Please give advice. I am desperate. I cannot seem to let go of the pain he has caused me and I do not treat him as I did before all of this happened either. I just can't. This is really affecting my illness. I was doing so well before all of this happened.
Please help me.
"I'm not crazy; I'm just a little unwell." Matchbox Twenty
Post Edited (missflip) : 4/14/2009 6:38:31 PM (GMT-6)