husband in a full blown manic

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BD_spouse
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 175
   Posted 4/17/2009 10:45 AM (GMT -7)   
so, i was right... here we go again.  except for now, it's not too bad... it's nice to come home to a clean house, but it's annoying that he pauses the movie just to clean off the coffee table...then re-arrange the dvd's... lol
i'm laughing because part of me likes it, the productivity, the increase of affection, the fact that he helps me in the morning with the kids... but the spending ... so far is kinda curbed, but god forbid he have a couple bucks on him... even if he doesn't need anything he'll just buy something to buy it.
i don't know what's next.  after the manic comes the crash, right?  can i do this? 
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed
by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do."
--
MARK TWAIN


BPWife
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 139
   Posted 4/17/2009 2:07 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm actually right where you are BD_spouse. Except my husband isn't seeing a doctor and for about two weeks has totally gone off the meds he got right after his was in the hospital last month.

For me, what usually comes next is him driving around for hours (I have no idea where he is and he doesn't answer the phone), playing poker in Atlantic City or some illegal club and spending on stuff we don't need or want. Then from there I have had to call the police in order to get him involuntarily admitted to a hospital. So, I have never experienced it where the crash just happens because he's in hospital getting the meds he needs in order to be stable.

Does anyone know when the crash happens?

As for whether or not you can do this - I can't answer that for you. I know that I personally intend to fight for my marriage. But I also wonder that if I'm the only one fighting for us - what's the point?

Hopefully his doctors appointment will go well and you'll get him back.

Good luck and BIG hug from me to you!

BD_spouse
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 175
   Posted 4/17/2009 2:48 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you BPWife. It really is comforting (i guess in a sick way) to know I'm not alone. I'm just so confused. I love my husband so much and I want to spend the rest of my life with him, but I feel myself detaching from him and feel like i'm helping a friend out most of the time... don't get me wrong, it's good that we are friends too since we strived for so long to get a friendship and a solid foundation, but when there is little to no affection, it's hard to feel close to him. Part of me hopes that this manic will affect him in the sexual department so I can feel close to him. FEELING that connection makes all the bad times bearable - not feeling it makes me wonder why I stick around. But then I feel guilty because it's not him it's his medication that supresses the "urge"... it's really a vicious cycle.
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed
by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do."
--
MARK TWAIN


BPWife
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 139
   Posted 4/17/2009 5:23 PM (GMT -7)   
This site has been very comforting for me just for the reason you listed. It's so nice to know that there are people going through this and feeling the way I/we do.

I, too, love my husband more than anything in the world. He is my best friend too. And, like you, I am now feeling very detached from him. When he's manic he's not the man I fell in love with nor is he my friend. I actually hate the sexual side of him when he's manic because it's the mania wanting to be with me, not him. I feel nothing for that person and find it very hard to be intimate.

I am also asking myself why I stick around. I wish he would just stay on his meds long enough for him to get stable and see a pyschiatrist so I can explain to him that he's going to lose me if he continues to not be compliant with treatment. We have something so special and I can't believe he's willing to throw it away because he won't accept his condition and try to manage it. I want to be supportive of him but he makes it so hard.

I mean, can I really handle another episode after just six weeks? Right now, the answer is no.

BPWife
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 139
   Posted 4/18/2009 1:41 PM (GMT -7)   
How is your husband doing BD Spouse? How are you doing?

Rocketman
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 156
   Posted 4/20/2009 1:19 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey BD;
 
Yep, sounds like he is definatly cycling up. It would be so nice to find that level happy medium & stay there, wouldn't it. Enjoy the upside while you can. I know it is incredibly hard because you know that it won't last & usually about the time you feel at ease & relax a little is when the crash happens & devestates you all over again. But hopefully the upcycle & downcycle will be mild this time around.
 
Take Care,
Rocket
"The struggles make you stronger, and the changes make you wise, and happiness has it's own way of taking it's sweet time.
Gary Allan- From "Life Ain't Always Beutiful"

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