... and i'm not afraid to say it. I know that a lot of people, friends and family mostly, don't understand why I stay - but after reading about other spouses staying, i've sat down and done some real soul searching and i've come to realize that I really love him. I have a couple friends in particular who seem to be treating me like an outsider lately and I know it's because they don't understand - you can't understand what someone goes through (from either side) unless you've been through it. They keep telling me that I need to leave because of my kids, and I understand this is hard for them, but doesn't it teach them something about love and commitment? I think it does. I'm not trying to justify staying with him either, because if it becomes harmful to them, I will leave and I know my kids better than anyone else - I know how much they can handle, and there is a lot they don't see.
I kept saying that I didn't sign up for this - but you know what? When I said the words "in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health" I was promising him that I'd be there for him in every moment. And I did sign up for this - I have the marriage certificate to prove it! But he also signed too - and his signature means that he promises to do what he can to be healthy and make good times, and it's up to both of us to hold up our end of the deal, doesn't it? If he doesn't then I won't feel bad walking away, we both made a promise to each other, we both need to keep it.
I love my bipolar husband and I don't care who knows it either!
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed
by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do."
-- MARK TWAIN