How's everyone doing? Role Call 5/9

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olivia of course
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1523
   Posted 5/9/2009 9:47 AM (GMT -7)   
I just wanted to check in on everyone and see how things are going this week. Please take your time to drop us a line and let us know how you're hanging in there.

Olivia
Olivia
Bipolar Co-Moderator
Donate to HealingWell at http://www.healingwell.com/donate/

Only by seeking challenges can we hope to find the best in ourselves. ~Robert Rodriguez

Don't let your yesterday ruin your today.
 
 


red lightening
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 620
   Posted 5/9/2009 10:46 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Olivia,
Nice of you to ask. I've been depressed this week but I feel a little better today.
I am moving and my teenagers are coming to visit at the same time and I'm
working and am a bit overwhelmed but everything that's happening is good. I
will have 5 months sober this Wednesday and am happy about that! I think I'm
going to pull out of this slump. How are you doing this week?

poodles
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 180
   Posted 5/9/2009 2:06 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Olivia! I am doing better. Had to see my psych PA this week to get my meds adjusted. But I noticed a change for the better almost immediately.

Red Lightening: Congratulations on staying sober. That is a major accomplishment. Way to go!! yeah
Vickie

Fibromyalgia, Bipolar II, Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome, Anxiety, Arthritis, High Blood Pressure, etc.


loving frustrated wife
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 865
   Posted 5/9/2009 5:44 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Olivia, Today is not a great day, I feel like even though it is Mothers Day Weekend, my oldest son is pouting at me because he didn't get the answer he wanted, my H is growling at me since I tried to sarcastically jolt him out of his pity party (it didn't work 1/2 way through it shifted from playful to retaliation/meanness and he hasn't gotten off of it since!), my youngest S has spent the day yelling at me, and my D has whined at me off and on throughout the day. THEN, my mom cancelled coming to Mother's Day Brunch tomorrow making up some excuse and basically saying she sees us a lot and our brunch out last week could stand in her heart as our mothers day together as she had such a lovely time then (but in truth it is because she does not want to be subjected to all the 'effort' it takes to be around my family - and who could blame her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!), and my stepmom calls and gets so irritated at me on the phone trying to figure out how she is going to get a duffle bag back we borrowed (I did everything....I offered to bring it to her today, leave it out front so she can swing by and pick it up at her convenience, drop it off on her front step tomorrow, bring it to the quilt shop she frequents and they know her well, as she is going to in a few days so she didn't have to make a special trip to our place - NOTHING worked for her! Even though I stated I'll do whatever she wants, I just wanted to make it easier on HER!), than she handed the phone to her husband unable to speak to me anymore!!!!!!!!!!! Am I crazy....or has the world I live in gone MAD?????????????????? I feel like this is NUTS that anyone should have to live like this. I simply cannot imagine anyone else going through their life like this. I am unhappy with how this day and weekend is going and want a DO OVER and have people be nice to me!

I was asked what I wanted to do for Mothers Day. I told what I wanted, and everything practically that I asked for has been changed because it wasn't what my H wanted, or he felt right now was too expensive (Cheesecake Factory is where I asked to go....too expensive....give me a BREAK!). SO...I get it, I'll get not what I want, but what he is willing to give or do. Why I bothered to say what I WANTED is beyond me. I wish I could now be left alone to stay in bed and watch TV guilt free - at least I won't yell at me!!!!!!!!! Plus, it's free.....but PIGS will fly before I would even get THAT for real!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I may be left alone...but it sure as heck won't be GUILT FREE! There’d be a price to pay for that TOO!!!!!!!!!!!

Like I said, bad day. Thanks for letting me get it out. Hugs all. And HAPPY MOTHER”S DAY TO ALL THE MOMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I really do hope you ALL have a wonderful day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LFW

mommy.michele
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 369
   Posted 5/9/2009 10:26 PM (GMT -7)   
LFW..sorry you had such a crappy day! I will be happy to lay in bed all day...LOL

Red Lightening....congrats on the sobriety!

I am fine, will have a lazy day tomorrow. I have finals next week so my mind is kind of frazzled, so I am staying low and studying.
"Just because you're in the driver's seat, doesn't mean
you have to run people over." ~ Fred Pausch


serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 5/10/2009 6:45 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi everyone:

Happy Mother's Day to all you moms out there. I hope you are treated kindly today.

LFW: I'm sorry things are so trying right now. Hang in there. Maybe they'll surprise you by being nice today.

serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II


GideonsTrumpet
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 25
   Posted 5/10/2009 7:03 AM (GMT -7)   

I'm stilll here,

Wife remains at the Shelter, with her daughter.  I try to "sneak" by every other day, just to see if her car is still there.  I assume her daughter is in school locally, I think she has transfered to another one in town.  With only 4 weeks left in the school year, and she transfers?  Not good.

Friday evening, I received a call from a man that I had contacted about an older log home in October.  Twice I've noticed it vacant but each time I called him, it was already taken.  My wife had seen it when she first arrived here, but we were too late.  Well, Friday evening he calls me, telling me it should be available in about 45 days.  He has even offered to owner finance should I wish to purchase!  I tried to get in touch with my wife leaving a message at the shelter, adding that the house was available.  No return call as of yet.

Tomorrow things will become more complicated for her.  Her driver's license will be suspended, and a seize tag order placed.  Not to mention the civil liabilities for both of us, if she continues to drive.  I offered to add her to my insurance policy, but I guess that was/is too easy.

It's been 5 weeks now, and no change.  Of course, since I have not seen her, I can't say what phase/mood she may be in.  I would assume that her knowledge of her DL situation, may trigger her, and past history tells me she may lash out at whoever is available.

Trying to hang in there.  As a spouse who loves his wife dearly, I only want the Old Kathy back.

 


TeNNiSd0C09
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 1303
   Posted 5/10/2009 5:19 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks for asking, and its been forever Olivia since we have talked.

I have been doing okay. I had therapy Friday...shes leaning toward some bi-polar-ness now and is considering talking to the doctor about a mood stabilizer and maybe a different anti-depressent since mine isnt working. The best part about therapy is that she wants my parents it go in my place next session! Lets just say, my parents were not happy about that... Im having to guilt trip them into going... I told them she would think they were horrible parents if they didnt go! lol

I graduate May 29th so... high school is almost over...then I have the summer off to chill and go on vacation. And then college starts in the fall. Im actually very excited about it so... things are going okay I guess..

Thanks, take care
Lyrica(15 months on, but now officially off of it!) and Paxil(about 6+- months)
Fibromyalgia, Depression, Anxiety, Panic Attacks-currently in therapy
www.myspace.com/wilson_gal22
"Cracks in the concrete are just reminders that you fall apart no matter how strong you are"
"Sometimes it is best to forget what you feel and remember what you deserve"
    "Im going to smile like nothing is wrong, talk like everything is perfect, act like its all a dream, and pretend its not hurting me."


loving frustrated wife
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 865
   Posted 5/10/2009 9:08 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi all, just an update to the day. Well, it looked like it would stay crappy, then my H got off it sometime last night, but still refused to hear what I wanted for my day. Then this morning, it looked like I was going to have to go with the plans as he wanted, when our youngest S got glass stuck in his finger from a broken light bulb just as we were about to leave. We couldn't get it out and it prompted a visit to the ER, which messed up our reservations. In the end, the finger was fine, there is glass in it, but the ER dr said it will in time work its way out and will not do any other cutting while in there...the body will push it out to a point we can extract it on its own vs. cutting into his finger to get the sliver out (which was the concern). So, we will soak it daily and wait. So in the end, we ended up going with the original plan I asked for - cheesecake factory and a movie! The rest of the day was delightful and all were kind and actually quite loving. H was kind, pleasant to me, even though he struggled with all the energetic dynamics that take place with our family. FYI, the new Star Trek movie was GREAT!

My goal for future is to get to the pleasant part WITHOUT all the negative stuff leading into it. Hope everyone else’s mom's day was honoring and lovely. HUGS....LFW

paktype
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 7
   Posted 5/11/2009 5:04 AM (GMT -7)   

Not so well. My wife has been very harsh this past week, constantly irritable and blaming me for everything. confused

The really frustrating part is that I'm never sure how much of this behavior is her illness and how much is simply genetics. Her mother also was a critical person who never thought she was wrong about anything.

 

 


olivia of course
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1523
   Posted 5/12/2009 3:08 PM (GMT -7)   
Hello All,

Sorry for not responding right away, I am dealing with really stressful things in my life right now. Hopefully things will get better with time, that is the only thing I can do wait and see how things go.

Red Lightning,

Congrats on being 5 months sober, you should really be proud of yourself. Addiction is a hard thing to deal with, especially added to a mood disorder. Things can get really jumbled up between the two.

Vivkie,

I am glad that there are positive changes in your life, and that the meds are helping you get better. Please keep us updated on how things are going.

LFW,

I am glad that things are better with your husband and that you had a good Mother's Day. I am happy that things turned out for the better in the end. I hope things keep getting better for your hubby.

mommy.michelle,

I hope you had a great day being laying low. I wish you the best with your exams, just keep studying and you will be fine. Please let us know how things go when you get a chance.

Gideon's Trumpet,

Wow! you have been going trough a lot of rough things lately. I hope the housing situation gets better, I know that has to be a big struggle there. Also, I hope your wife's soon realizes that things are not what they seem and get treatment as well.

Tennis,

Congrats on graduating soon!

I hope you get the stuff with the diagnosis cleared up soon, it is a terrible thing not to know where things stand. I know you must be scared about your parents going to therapy, but it can only be for the best. Your parents may not agree with everything, but at least they are trying to understand or they wouldn't go. I wanted to wish you the best in that situation and please keep us updated on how things go.

paktype,

From what you describe your wife's mood has shifted. My guess is that both her illness and her nature are at play here. Please try not to take things personally, chnaces are she doesn't even know that she is doing it. People with bipolar tend to be stubborn and have a hard time seeing things clearly when their moods are off. That doesn't excuse the way she is behaving, but she probably doesn't realize how bad things are.

Have you tried talking to her and bringing up that her moods are a little of, she might respond differently if she knows how much it is affecting you.

Olivia
Olivia
Bipolar Co-Moderator
Donate to HealingWell at http://www.healingwell.com/donate/

Only by seeking challenges can we hope to find the best in ourselves. ~Robert Rodriguez

Don't let your yesterday ruin your today.
 
 


loving frustrated wife
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 865
   Posted 5/12/2009 4:42 PM (GMT -7)   
Olivia,  So sorry to hear your having stressful times.  Hang in there and remember we are also here to support you.  We're here if you need us.  BIG HUGS TO YOU MY FRIEND!  LFW

maggiern
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 223
   Posted 5/13/2009 10:05 PM (GMT -7)   
Olivia thank you for asking how we are all doing.  I am getting better each day, and my husband and I are getting along so good I am afraid it is just a dream.  I was on such a bad manic time that it feels almost foreign to me, and I sometimes wait for myself to screw something up, but I will prevail.  I stop taking the Geodon to see if some of the side effects I was having would stop, then restarted it again.  I stopped for about 4 days and boy oh boy did I feel my mood change back to the way I was going before so I am getting on and staying there.  Thank you for asking and hope you are doing well also.

tyno3
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 1081
   Posted 5/14/2009 8:35 AM (GMT -7)   

Hello, all. It has been a long time since I've posted here. The Fibro Forum is where I have been posting as most of my problems are related to pain, fatique and weakness. Not being able to jump the physical hurtles, being hurtled at me. I appreciate your concern, Olivia, and am sorry you are struggling so, as well. The moderators are indepensable, and without you, basically, none of us would exist. At least not in our individual persona, as me, tyno3 for example. I would have no place to turn, except to my pdoc, and it will take 3 months to see him. I sometimes turn to my brother, but he is mad at the moment, b/c I went ahead and dealt with the parents crisis situation w/o consulting him. There was pretty much no other option to the way it all transpired, and since he lives a thousand miles away and claims to be w/o any resources to contribute, can't even come to see parents, there really wasn't much point, was there? My sister is dealing with the parents demise by demonizing me. She says I turned her Dad into a monster. Dad has a brain tumour and I certainly did not cause it. My stepmother has end stage kidney failure, Maunchausen's Syndrome, and is a big boil on my butt which I tend with double kid gloves. She isn't my biological mother, she was our housekeeper who stole my Dad. But apparently, it was his choice, so I've treated her with a great deal of respect, kindness. Somewhere, I have heard, "chose your enemies carefully, for it is they that define you". Friends come and go, enemies are forever. I don't have that kind of time or energy to waste on her so I treat her fairly and firmly. She does not return the favor. So, to answer the question; what's been going on? Well, the short answer is; far too much.

I am allergic to stress. Not only due to the BiPolar II, but even more so due to Fibromyalgia. There is a study mentioned in one of the forums' entries about Fibromyalgia and the inability of the Central Nervous system to recover from stressful events. I think it goes something like, the Parasympathetic Nervous System is underfunctioning; while the Sympathetic Nervous system doesn't let down from assault or percieved assault. Therfore, Fibromites are constantly in a state of high alert, adrenalin pumping, cortisol generating, fight/flight reaction always on. The off switch is broken. Therefore, one is constantly in a state of high anxiety and eventually, this wears and tears on the body. Also, one takes a long time to feel "normal" again. We cannot reach the deep levels of sleep required for the mind and body to heal. So we carry a bag full of every psychic and physical injury evr contracted, around with us , always. I cannot remember when I last felt, OK. Add to this BiPolar II, where we are perceptively challenged and percieve things much more acutely than "normals", (whoever they be), and we can get pretty messed up. That is where I am, right now. Taking baby steps to try and pull out of about 16 unresolved assaults of life, totally out of control (my life that is).

I don't know how to shorten the storey. Everybody has a storey that will break your heart. Credit Amanda Marshall. No relationship with bio mom. She also is BiPolar, was institutionalized repeatedly as I was a young child, shock treatments, self medicating and always taking too many pills. That may never get sorted out. Dad ran away with the hired help, can't really say I blame him, but, he picked a drunken, compulsive gambler (of course none of this came to light until he had some money for her to dispense with). And dispense with it, she did. Robbing my children and my sibs children of any decent chance at a future. Family violence, infighting and bickering has been the norm for as long as I can recall. So, I went ahead and had children at age 27. No rush to fill the gaping hole in my middle as many do, but rather a calculated, well, I seem to have enough on the ball, I am resourceful, I am aging, I may as well have kids now (27), if at all. I went gene shopping, looking for someone as polar opposite from me as possible, with no history of BiPolar Illness. I had my 1st. Great. Just like his Dad. Whew, dodged a bullet. Then , 18 months later, lo and behold, just as I'd landed my dream job, having to sign a one year contract, I began throwing up. No!, not, well, yes. OK. So I have to turn down this job I'd been working towards my entire life, everything I blieved in, Social Justice, and all that. Became a stay at home Mom. Husband stopped coming home. Stopped bringing paychecks home, so I went to work. My first two months, it cost more to gear up for work, clothes, lunches, childcare, than I was earning. But somewhere deep inside, still a believer, I hung in. One thing turned into another, eventually I was earning real money and since hubby, (gene donor) had other places to be, I said adios. He was fine with it, as was I. Except my life became twice as hard. On the second role of the dice, the not expected one, childwise, I flubbed. Snake eyes. BiPolar, just like me. Then elder was determined to be ADHD. Younger, we couldn't ever get a handle on it, just moody. Surprized, nope.

Well, here I sit, 21 years later, Son #2 whom I love dearly, sleeping in the next room. Sleeps about 16 hours a day. Cannot get a job. Cannot do much of anything. And me here, on the computer, pouring out my soul. We are percieved as weak. It's like we got a sign on our back's saying, "kick me". Almost everybody hurting out there takes the opportunity to do so. Helps them feel a litle better about their own situation, maybe. But not for long.

We have moved twice in the past year. We have gotten the news of Dad's brain tumour, added to his dementia. He had to be institutionalized. I was locked in a toxic mould, run down, water soaked, musty, nasty house with him, just him and me, for two years and three months, before Adult Protection stepped in. I had a week to find better housing. I did. It cost too much. Had to be done. I was fought by not only my Dad but by Brothers, and Sister, who is seriously BiPolar to the point of being psychotic, bless her heart, she shoots arrows into the tent, totally unaware of what she is doing.

Then the RCMP (Like State Police) get called as my Dad becomes increasingly aggressive towards me. I can no longer care for him. He gets placed under 72 hours observation, then institutionalized, then determined to have a golf ball size tumour, in his head. So, I have a house I cannot afford, a son I cannot support, a stepmother I cannot appease, a sister who sees me as the devil, a brother who wants to wear the pants in the family, but hasn't any, and a mother I cannot speak to, without dredging up ghosts which haunt me. Then a move, a landlord who treats me as if I work for him, calling at 9:30 PM last night screaming at me on the phone b/c I didn't get up and go out and move my truck when his pit bull b----, forewoman decided to mow the grass at 8PM, $20.00 to get me from the 14th to the 28th, or 29th, (does it matter?), impending allegations of misappropriating funds from proceeds of sale of parents house (which had to be burned due to a health hazard) which had a mortgage bigger than the house itself. Oh yeah, and phone calls about my stepmother's 13,000 Visa which she burned at the Casino. How are the rest of you making out? 

Beware of rural emergency rooms. Ten days ago, I went to emerg, chest pains. Serious chest pains. Was given a shot of who knows what, in the butt, began to feel some relief, blood pressure back down to almost normal, and released with a prescription for NSAIDS, which I cannot take, ulcers, and another prescription for something the attending doctor called "a muscle relaxer". Well, it was not. It was a very high dose of ephedrine. Like Speed. Like Meth. I am seriously hypertensive, and almost died. This didn't help my ability to cope, nope, not a bit. Two weeks before it will be entirely out of my system. Then I have to drive 60 miles (actually, since the twenty bucks I have won't be around then, I guess I won't have to drive, will I?) Supposed to drive 60 miles to see the doc who wants to reassess my condition. My condition? It would take twenty doctors twenty years to reassess my condition. Think I'll join my second son, whom I love dearly, and just sleep through the next two weeks. Hey but, I got a roof over my head, although I expect the crazed landlord or his pitbull forewoman to come crashing through the door any minute, all day, every day, cause there are dandilions growing in the garden. I hapen to like dandilions. Tasty when ya only got twenty bucks. So, how are you all, doing?


Hypothyroidism, Fibromyalgia, Facet Joint Syndrome, High Blood Pressure, menopause, Migraines, Chest Pain, Anxiety and Depression/BiPolar II
Synthyroid .075mg., estradiol.5 mgs., Amyltriptilene, 100mgs, bedtime, Tylenol 3 PRN (six-eight, daily), Valium 7.5mgs. daily prn. Flexeril, prn (not so helpful), Zoloft,150mgs., Zomig approx. 12 per month, prn., Meds for High Blood Pressure, vary.

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