Not sure if significant other is bi-polar

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Now What
New Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 5/12/2009 9:07 PM (GMT -7)   
Hello,
I've been involved with a man for almost 2 years now who was diagnosed with bipolar disorder 4 or 5 years ago. To the best of my knowledge he was medicated only for a very short time (less than a year) and under the care of a general practitioner rather than a psychiatrist. The GP had/has been his physician for over 20 years. At the time of diagnosis, B was going through a divorce due to his infidelity and an exceptionally stressful situation with his work due to his own actions specifically lack of verbal control.

I've been told by B that he's not sure he has bipolar disorder. I've been told by his dear friend that B got the bipolar dx as a way to save his job. Thus I'm left questioning whether he has bipolar disease or is just a selfish and at times manipulative person. I've read a few books on bipolar disorder but can't for the life of me figure out his cycles. He seems far more manic than depressive to me. He's impulsive, sleeps very little, is terribly moody(the temper tantrums!), can go from hot to cold to hot in less than 5 minutes, constantly on the go...can't stay home, works out at least once if not twice a day, can be very structured (for example...must have the same thing for breakfast everyday, as with lunch), has a tendency to drink IMO too much, is constantly on the phone or texting...he'll text me at 2 or 3 in the am, money...he makes a great income but I have no idea where his money goes. While he doesn't do drugs he does go out for a 'a beer or two' almost every night so that adds up, but not to the amount he earns. Baffling!

I'm posting here because I'm at my wits ends as the last several months have been exceptionally challenging. I feel beat down and broken hearted. I've left our relationship 4 or 5 times in the past year. Always to get a phone call, see the handsome face or a sweet text that says what needs to be said and I'm back in. Things will be okay for a while and then it's back to the same problems.

What I really want for each of us is to be happy and healthy, but I'm not sure I can be happy and healthy with him. So, if there's something I can do that might encourage him to get the treatment he needs then I'll stay. We're not married; he's not married so I can't have him committed. While his parents are involved in his life they don't talk about the BD issue. Thus, I cannot talk to them without making B very angry and I'm not interested in being the brunt of his anger anymore.

I would very much appreciate any guidance or insight any of you have to offer. Thanks for reading my long post!
E

serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 5/13/2009 9:56 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Now What,

Welcome to HealingWell and to the bipolar board.

The bipolar diagnosis is not an easy one to obtain, so I'd be very surprised if a doctor handed one out just to save his job. Most people are misdiagnosed as depressed or with anxiety for years before they get the correct diagnosis of bipolar, so it's more likely that it's a correct diagnosis. But, you never know. And he says he's not sure of it himself, so if you could gently and subtly encourage him to go to a psychiatrist for a reevaluation, that would be great. He could definitely use some meds to help calm his mood swings, and a psychiatrist is much more knowledgeable about the varieties of medicines and their properties than a GP. A bipolar person can definitely tend more toward one pole than the other, and it sounds like your partner swings more towards the manic side.

Definitely leave his parents out. That would absolutely make him angry. Deal with him, but be tactful (I'm sure you would be anyway) and don't talk to him about bipolar when he's angry or agitated or confused.

I hope this helps.
serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II

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