I have a question about Bipolar

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

Red_34
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2004
Total Posts : 23413
   Posted 5/14/2009 10:13 AM (GMT -7)   
Hello everyone!  I'm from the Uc forum (normally) but I have a question about Bipolar if you don't mind indulging me? 
 
My daughter is 13 years old and she is madly in love with this one boy - as in love as a 13 year old can get I guess.  This boy is 14 years old and is Bipolar.  We had a bit of falling out with this boy not too long ago for some illegal activity in which my daughter participated in.  We quickly put a stop to this activity and my daughter was grounded for quite a while.  We tried getting her to stop seeing this kid but anyone with teens will tell you that the more you try to get your child to NOT do something, they are going to try harder to DO it.  This boy is not allowed over our house anymore but I know my daughter still meets up with him but she is always with friends.  I told my daughter that we may let her hang out with this boy if he comes clean with us.  He lied directly to my face about denying the fact that he did this illegal activity when I know for a fact that he did and still does. 
 
I will be truthful, I don't really know that much about Bipolar - other then the basics.  But is lying a part of being Bipolar?  It seems as if he can't help BUT to lie it seems.  He treats my daughter very nice and he is super sweet to her.  He seems like a decent enough kid if only he would stop doing this one thing that we don't approve of.  His mother said he is on Lithium - this seems like a powerful drug, is it? 
 
Sorry this is so long but if anyone can give me advice on how to proceed with this, I would be very grateful!  This is my first exposure to anyone with Bipolar and I feel a little lost.
 @--->--SHERRY--<---@
Moderator for Allergies/Asthma and Co-moderator for UC
~Left sided Uc-'92-Colazal(9 daily),6mp(50-100mgs),Bentyl, Prilosec,Biotin,Forvia,Pro-Bio**Unable to tolerate Asacol, Rowasa or Canasa**~Year-round allergies-Singulair, Zyrtec~Secondary Reynauds Syndrome-'04-Norvasc~Sacroiliitis-epidural injections~bulging and herniated discs C5/C6 & C6/C7~3 epidural injections-second series starts 2/17, OA in my fingers -Celebrex, Tylonel Arthritis and Voltaren Gel
To help Healingwell - click here: DONATE
 
 
 
 

 
 


mommy.michele
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 369
   Posted 5/14/2009 10:55 AM (GMT -7)   
Lying is definately part of the territory. The fact that he is partaking in the illegal activity and lying about it can be a sign that his bipolar is not being controlled very well. Does he go to regular therapy?
This is a hard age, I am bipolar and I have a 15 year old daughter. If I were in the same shoes I would probably steer her from this person as much as I could. Bipolar is such a complex thing to deal with for an adult....imagine how it is with a child. We have a lot of spouses of BP on here and they could give you a better idea of how hard it is to be with a bipolar person, I would not wish that on my daughter.
Those of us with bipolar and have it under control live pretty normal lives. But it takes alot of regulation and self control...hard for teens on both levels.
"Just because you're in the driver's seat, doesn't mean
you have to run people over." ~ Fred Pausch


serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 5/14/2009 1:14 PM (GMT -7)   
I would echo mommy.michele on most counts. Bipolar definitely is unpredicatable and can cause impulsive behavior and lying. But I think I'd be more concerned about the illegal activity than the bipolar. Lots of kids have emotional troubles. More than likely he just doesn't trust you.

Lithium is a powerful drug, but it's a very common drug for bipolar. It is difficult to manage, but significantly easier with medication and therapy. A lot of it depends on the support structure he has. How involved are his parents. You said he otherwise seems like a nice kid. That counts for a lot.

serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II


Red_34
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2004
Total Posts : 23413
   Posted 5/14/2009 3:45 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm not sure how involved his parents are. I only talked to his mother once when she stopped by to tell me what was going on with him and his Bipolar. I have a feeling though that he is abused by his father just by reading some of the things he puts on his Myspace but once again, I don't know if that is the truth or not. I do know that as of know he is expelled from his school for fighting and he may end up transferring to my daughter's junior high. My daughter really wants both her dad and I to like this kid and to accept his apologies but I just don't know. It IS the illegal activity that bothers me the most to tell the truth.
 @--->--SHERRY--<---@
Moderator for Allergies/Asthma and Co-moderator for UC
~Left sided Uc-'92-Colazal(9 daily),6mp(50-100mgs),Bentyl, Prilosec,Biotin,Forvia,Pro-Bio**Unable to tolerate Asacol, Rowasa or Canasa**~Year-round allergies-Singulair, Zyrtec~Secondary Reynauds Syndrome-'04-Norvasc~Sacroiliitis-epidural injections~bulging and herniated discs C5/C6 & C6/C7~3 epidural injections-second series starts 2/17, OA in my fingers -Celebrex, Tylonel Arthritis and Voltaren Gel
To help Healingwell - click here: DONATE
 
 
 
 

 
 


serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 5/14/2009 5:46 PM (GMT -7)   
If your daughter does stay involved with this guy, she's going to need some extra "help," as it were. I'd stay involved. Ask her questions, kindly, about how things are going, how he's doing, how he's treating her, how she feels about it, so on... Especially if he's being abused at home. He's a guy coming along with baggage. She's bound to have friends (boys or girls) like that, but she doesn't have to deal with them alone if her parents are proactive about it. You sound like you're really caring and concerned. If he's going to be around, this might be a good opportunity to teach her how to set personal boundaries and how to care about someone without getting enmeshed in their troubles. Hope that makes sense.

Good luck!
serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II


Pink_Poison
New Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 5/14/2009 7:06 PM (GMT -7)   
hello! I am new to this and this post really caught my eye. I am 18 years old with bipolar. I have been taking lithium off and on for five years now. Puberty is hard for anyone, but it is espacially hard for somebody who does not have that much control over their moods to begin with. Its a scary time and I know I engaged in many impulsive behaviors such as illegal activities and lying. In no way am I saying this kid should be doing these things, but he might not have as much control as others. I wouldn't let the fact that he is bipolar affect what you think of this boy, I would look at his overall personality instead. THere are crummy, mean people who happen to have bipolar and then there are sweet and nice people who happen to have it to.

Just a thought from someone who went through that only a few years ago! [=

Good luck!

Red_34
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2004
Total Posts : 23413
   Posted 5/15/2009 3:57 AM (GMT -7)   
Pink Poison, oh no I wouldn't ever judge someone for something they can not control! I have no issues with him being Bipolar. I was just wondering if lying was part of the territory with BP. Thank you for posting :)
 @--->--SHERRY--<---@
Moderator for Allergies/Asthma and Co-moderator for UC
~Left sided Uc-'92-Colazal(9 daily),6mp(50-100mgs),Bentyl, Prilosec,Biotin,Forvia,Pro-Bio**Unable to tolerate Asacol, Rowasa or Canasa**~Year-round allergies-Singulair, Zyrtec~Secondary Reynauds Syndrome-'04-Norvasc~Sacroiliitis-epidural injections~bulging and herniated discs C5/C6 & C6/C7~3 epidural injections-second series starts 2/17, OA in my fingers -Celebrex, Tylonel Arthritis and Voltaren Gel
To help Healingwell - click here: DONATE
 
 
 
 

 
 


BD_spouse
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 175
   Posted 5/15/2009 11:49 AM (GMT -7)   
What about educating your daughter?  Maybe if she knows what she is getting into, she'll be in a better position to stay or go - but if she stays and things start happening that were predicted during her time of education of BP then maybe she'd think twice - on her own!
I remember at that age, my parents knew nothing and i knew everything!  You can't stop her from seeing him, you'll only make it worse, but maybe trying to help her by saying to her that if she really wants to be with this boy, she should know from an expert what she's getting herself into - not to WARN her, but to HELP HIM!  She'll see for herself one day that a BP relationship is not something light to get into and she'll figure it out on her own.
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed
by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do."
--
MARK TWAIN

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Saturday, December 03, 2016 12:00 AM (GMT -7)
There are a total of 2,731,977 posts in 300,977 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 151141 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, LydiaLoftis.
207 Guest(s), 2 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
Girlie, gitane44


Follow HealingWell.com on Facebook  Follow HealingWell.com on Twitter  Follow HealingWell.com on Pinterest
Advertisement
Advertisement

©1996-2016 HealingWell.com LLC  All rights reserved.

Advertise | Privacy Policy & Disclaimer