Daughter has bipolar and now possibly schizo affect.......which way do we go now....

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Helper of Mankind
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 40
   Posted 5/14/2009 10:43 PM (GMT -7)   
I am 42 and parent of daughter 17 diagnosed last year with bipolar type I.  In the beginning, I was adamant that I would not fill her up with pills.... got her a psychologist who saw her on a weekly basis.
 
After some therapy she stated she wanted to try the medicine because she was tired.  Just tired.   A psychiatrist started her on lamictal and ability 2.5 mg   We started medications, then a diagnosis of ADD came in.  She was started on Adderall XR.  It worked well for a few months.  Her grades went from failure to A & B.....Out of the blue she suffered a relapse. 
 
 Or is that what we call it?  An episode of inconsolable crying.  When asked why it was evident that she was overwhelmed and very paranoid about students at school, one teacher.  At home she felt that she couldn't trust her brother or dad due to the curiosity they would have about her behaviors.  She has always had paranoia about people staring but never read into it.   She stated that night that she was tired of being alone.  She said "Never felt so alone". 
 
 I was stuck and confused.  Her psychiatrist stated she should be evald for admission into an adolescent mental health facility.  We did and they concurred.  But I walked out with my daughter that day.  I just can't do it.  Don't know what to do.......My daughter is gone, even before I got to know her.  Who is this young lady?
 
"Gotta stay healthy, got three wonderful children to watch out for.............this is my goal."


serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 5/15/2009 12:27 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Helper,

Welcome to the bipolar board. It's good to have you and I think you're in the right place. We have a few parents of bipolar teens here.

It's time for you to get a little more educated about bipolar disorder. Your confusion and fear is keeping your daughter from getting the treatment she needs. She is not gone, she just needs help. You've done the right thing by taking her to the doctors and getting her medication. But if the doctors recommend hospitalization, then it's probably the right thing to do to get her stabilized again. In the hospital she will have her medication adjusted and spend a good deal of her time in therapy. It is not as scary as it sounds.

Let me recommend The Bipolar Disorder Survival Guide by David Miklowitz as a good place to start reading more about Bipolar. Bipolar Disorder involves big swings of emotions like the ones your daughter's been having. The medicine calms the swings, but doesn't make them go away always. And not all medications work for everyone. So sometimes it takes trying a few medicines before you find one that does the trick. That's something they could work on in the hospital. The medicine she's on right now doesn't sound like it's helping much.

Hope this is helpful. Hang in there,
serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II


loving frustrated wife
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 865
   Posted 5/15/2009 10:33 PM (GMT -7)   
Helper, I hear your fear and sorrow about what you child is going through. You are not alone. I am a mom to a 15.5 yr old S who is BP II, rapid cycler w/ADHD , and another S who is 8 going through the evaluation process with quick anger triggers, and a mouth of angry words, and ADHD type symptoms. It will turn out to be BP II & ADHD like his older brother, or one or the other. At this point not sure. I will share that we have come close to hospitalization only once with our oldest when he scared himself over an incident.

I completely agree with Serafena, you need additional education which will help you not be so afraid, and allow you to move forward to help your child with the best treatment options for her - even if it means hospitalization. I know it’s sad, I know it is scary....but bottom line....I get you love your daughter and she needs you to be strong enough to give her what she needs right now and it sounds like the hospital at this moment may be it. I will share that I have been dealing with having a BP child for almost 8 years now. My oldest was dx'ed at 8.5. The HARDEST part was finding him the right meds, at the right levels, and staying diligent to not waver in staying out of denial about it all.
Today, while we have our ups and downs, he is a remarkable child and S. He participates in his own wellness having learned about his own condition and how to help communicate and be honest about it with his wellness team. He gets we are all working together for him. You and your daughter will get there too. But it takes time. Sometimes, when they are so unstabalized with meds, the hospital is the BEST place for them to be. It is supportive, it is SAFE, it helps teach them in a good place how to start recognizing things and helping themselves. Your daughter will continue to grow into the wonderful woman she was meant to be, SHE IS NOT GONE…just a little temporarily lost in the muck and mire, but if you get her the help she needs now, and you teach her not to be ashamed about the BP, but learn to OWN it from the beginning as something manageable if she is committed to it. She can surpass your dreams.

As for you mom, you'll get through it too, and eventually, you won't be so afraid, angry or sad. You'll understand that it is nothing more (in many ways) than diabetes and your daughters medication is HER insulin....it just affects balancing her brain chemistry vs. her blood sugar. That wonderful child will surprise you. My S's are loving and wonderful people who will go into the world and do great things one day because I faced the truth and helped them from the beginning when they needed it. So will your daughter. Take a deep breath, come here and get support when you need it, and be brave for your daughter and do what she needs - scary or not. Get honest with yourself and her or you will do her no good. Don't be ashamed, don't wallow in sadness that she has to go through this...hold your head up high and continue loving your daughter and take care of her like you always have. And educate yourself as much as possible. Denial about what is real will serve no one....ESPECIALLY the one you love the most....your daughter. Plus, the longer it takes for her to get help, the worse it will be for her.

Welcome aboard Helper! We're always here to support you, and listen. You'll learn a lot here...just keep breathing and be strong! LFW

Helper of Mankind
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 40
   Posted 5/15/2009 11:30 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you so much for your input.  It really gives me hope and some insight.  I have just recently started reading and getting educated.  Sad, but true.  It was very encouraging to read about your journey with your sons.  I have hope after reading.
 
After my daughter and I walked out of that treatment center last week, her psych md adjusted her meds but forbade her from attending school.  She was quite upset.  He had her come back today, to do a re-eval.  I had expressed my concerns about missed time, material missed, and her being overwhelmed when returning to school.  She, on the other hand believes she can do it.  Or does she?  I somehow feel that she is avoiding the tx facility due to paranoia and other insecurities.  I understand.  I voiced my thoughts and opinions,  when she was excused,  to the md and let him know that I felt she was being setup for failure.....that she would be overwhelmed upon returning.   As it is now she has a hard time working on assignments that I have picked up for her to do.....
 
 He stated that he wanted her to come to the realization on her own and that this could turn out to be a stepping stone.  I am hoping that after the first day she will get off that school bus and say I need treatment ......We have until Wednesday.  I will wait everyday until 3:30 p.m. to make sure she has had a normal day.........

"Mother"  It's the best job I have ever had.......three beautiful, smart and unique individuals.   My children.

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