Frustrated Again, Can't turn my brain off

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Learning2deal
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 52
   Posted 5/23/2009 7:43 AM (GMT -7)   
I am so frustrated, I can't turn my brain off. It keeps going in circles with ruminating thoughts mostly of how my husband doesn't measure up to my expectations. What in the heck was I thinking when I got married. I mean I love my kids but sometimes I wish I could turn back time and never gotten married. My husband has gained 55 pounds since we met and is now over 70 pounds overweight. It is not fair to me to have to watch every little thing that is brought into the house so that he won't eat it. He ate a whole pizza after dinner the other night after I left for my bipolarsupprt group meeting. I have to some how come to terms with this before I drive my self crazy. When the kids are grown I might just up and leave. I wouldn't be surprised. I think he has no idea how I feel. We have talked about his weight before and agreed that he needs to loose weight but he never wants to excersize or eat less. Duh!!! If I could just forget about it that would help but I cant seem to. I need some advice about marriage. Is this the way it is supposed to be? Is this just the way it is? Is there more to be had? Help!!

Ne Ne
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 243
   Posted 5/23/2009 1:44 PM (GMT -7)   
Have you not changed seance you got married???? I feel you need to look at what you fell in love with....Looks are not everything, What would do if he was in a accident and he was scared up?????? I love my husband for a lot of reasons, one is how he looks over my imperfections and he loves me with all his heart....Marriage is a job you have to work at it all the time, when you don't you both start having problems..... And talking to him about his weight can cause problems...... Make less food, do it in Stella ways, make more salads...... once he starts to lose weight praise him......



Dawn turn yeah
49 Female
Dx June 07 Crohn's take asacol 2x3 a day ,lotrel for HBP , omeprezole for stomach , potassium , calcium & Vit D , lomotil for lose stools , tramadol for pain , started humira in Feb 08 on 1 shot a week, vit-B 12 shots , crestor,off crestor,now pravastatin, pristiq, abilify,
Dx Bipolar May 08


serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 5/23/2009 6:43 PM (GMT -7)   
Learning2deal,

I think you guys are great candidates for marriage counseling. You need to be able to talk to each other. If you're feeling like you shouldn't have married him, you're probably angry about more than just weight gain. It'd be a good thing to have a therapist help you both learn how to communicate better and work your problems through.

Good luck.
serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II


sukay
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 1432
   Posted 5/24/2009 11:10 AM (GMT -7)   

Hello,

I would like to ditto what serafena just said.

Counseling sounds like a good thing for both of your right now.

I bet there is a reason why your husband is over eating!

blush
~sukay~
 Bipolar - 2004
     Crohns disease - 1995 
Arthritis & Fibromyalgia 
 
Leo Buscaglia


Learning2deal
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 52
   Posted 5/26/2009 6:46 PM (GMT -7)   
Well, today was a better day. I am feeling better about my relationship with my husband. I just doesn't bother me when I am not ruminating. I mean sure it could be better and in small ways I still avoid contact with him (Physical contact) But I don't feel like breaking up with him. this whole bipolar disorder complicates relationships. I dont see how I have not ruined my marriage. I am somewhat worried that I eventually will. I guess you can't live in fear. Just in the now. And for right this second, everything is okay.
 
P.S. I know that I judge. I wish I didn't . It is not my place to judge my husband or anyone and I know that. I just wanted to clairfy that. Thank you to all...
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