My bipolar girlfriend

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tag4771
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 6/2/2009 11:49 AM (GMT -7)   
I am new to the website, so will start out with my story.
 
I have been seeing my bipolar girlfriend for about 18 months...what a roller coaster ride it has been!!!  Many days of negative, abusive behavior have seriously made me consider if its worth it or not.   Why is it that every job she has there are problems with the boss or employees.  They are talking behind her back or being mean!  Its been 3 jobs in that time and every job is the same.   You know how draining it is to get a phone call from work with her  trash mouthing her co-workers.  How about a nice phone call saying...whats for dinner...whats on tv!  PLEASE just be POSITIVE.
 
We just had a set back with a miscarriage and it has been worse lately.  She went off her meds plus the hormones!!  I dont want to call her the devil, but its been bad.
Has anyone had experience with bipolar and pregnancy/miscarriage.   She just went on zonasimide(zonegram) which is mood stabilizer.   She started crying everyday and on her own started taking zoloft along with zanax.  Last night she was talking all the time and was much different...hard to tell...hypomania??  Not sure.  Any help??
Todd

serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 6/2/2009 12:06 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Todd,

Welcome to HealingWell and to the bipolar board. It's good to have you.

Being in a relationship with a bipolar person is not easy. You have to be pretty committed, because we need a lot of patience and care. The ordinary mood swings are bad enough -- even medicated, but throw in a pregnancy, and you're facing a very tough year.

First, she needs to see a psych right away. Her moods are off the charts. I'm no doc, but it sounds like she's cycling pretty rapidly right now, which wouldn't be so weird for someone who's hormones are as crazy as a woman who's recently miscarried. You said she just started Zonegran. It's going to take up to 6 weeks for that to get into her blood stream. So it's going to be a while before you see results there. Just try to be patient, make her as comfortable as you can, and help her get over the loss I'm sure you're feeling too. She's grieving as well as depressed.

I think she could use a therapist as well, someone to talk to.

In the meantime, for yourself, let me recommend "The Bipolar Disorder Survival Guide," by David Miklowitz. It's a great resource for both the sufferer and their family and friends who want to try and understand the disorder better.

Hope this helps,
serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II


tag4771
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 6/2/2009 12:11 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks for the quick response!!
 
She will be seeing a therapist in a week and going every other week.  We go see her med doctor tonight..together...i insisted.  I do think she is having rapid mood swings.   Its tough!  Part of me felt bad about the baby and part of me was relieved.  I do love her, but its hard.
She is so self centered!!!

fordman
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 6/28/2009 12:27 PM (GMT -7)   
Your story is so similar to mine, except for the miscarriage part.  I had been dating a girl whom a suspected to be bipolar as well.  We went together for over a year and a half and although we had some really good times and really cared for one another, it was just too hard on me to continue with the relationship.  I broke up with her a few months ago after a string of manic and depressive episodes.
 
I never knew who I was going to be talking to each time I saw her.  One day she could be extremely happy and joyfull, and the next something would trigger her and she wouldn't want to see me or anyone else.  I was verbally abused so often that it began to have negative effects on my mood as well. She always had a complaint about someone.  Everyone, it seemed, ticked her off for some reason.  Whenever she was upset, it was always because of someone else.
 
She refused to see a professional due to the costs involved.  Her up's and down's eroded our relationship from the second month we were together until the end. I tried explaining to her that until she received help, each relationship she entered would have the same result.  I am actually fearfull she will end up with an physically abusive person because I just don't see how a nice one would ever want to stay with her and accept the abuse she gives. 
 
Even though I could never get back together with her, I still really care for her and hope she can get the help she needs.  I fear she may do something to hurt herself some day or be hurt by someone else.
 
From what I understand about this condition, it never really goes away.  Medication and therapy can mask or suppress it, bit it will always be there waiting to resurface.  I would advise you to just leave the relationship and be glad you didn't have a child with her.  Staying with her has the potential of seriously damaging your own life.  Just my opinion from my own experience.

serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 6/28/2009 2:43 PM (GMT -7)   
fordman,

Thanks for your input.

We bipolars believe that most of us are perfectly good partners and great parents who happen to have a mental disorder. We need to be active in the management of that disorder, of course. That's part of the package. For whatever reason, your ex-girlfriend was not interested in seeing a doctor. But you are not even sure she was bipolar, if I understand your message correctly. That's unfortunate. It happens, but it's not the rule. I assure you that while I also have bipolar, I do not alienate everyone I meet, I have a loving husband and a 4-year old daughter, and we have a strong family.

I'm sorry your relationship didn't work out, but there are many facets to this disorder, and many types of people who have it. Please do not make the mistake of lumping us all together and making generalizations. Not everyone who has bipolar is toxic and must be avoided at all cost. Please don't spread the stigma further.

serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II

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