Don't give up just like that!
You have more strength then you give yourself credit for, you care for your childrn, you don't want to cause others pain, that shows that you have so mcuh strength hidden underneath the pain and suffering that you feel right now. God doesn't give us more than we can handle, and he is trying to show you right now at this point in your life that you are a very strong person. Look inside yourself and you will find it. I will be praying for you this all my heart. Don't look to drinking, believe me it only makes matters worse, it makes your sympotms worse. i know what you are going through believe me, but pushing everyone away wont make things better, just stop and think things through I know that you can make it through this. When you feel overwhelmed just take a deep breath, go for a walk, take a hot bath and think about something that makes you happy. Your family makes you happy right? It'll be alright, your family loves you, there is a higher power that loves you. Just take it one day at a time, don't think about the future just live for today and I promise that a great weight will be lifted off of your shoulders.