How i felt before i started to take my lamictal again

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Regular Member

Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 33
   Posted 6/16/2009 2:45 PM (GMT -6)   
<H3 class="post-title entry-title">My Bipolar is taking over me this was about 2-3 weeks ago</H3>

I feel like I am losing all control of my emotions and I feel like i am losing all my friends and it seems like every one hates me.. I feel so alone and I don't know what to do.. i am taking medicine and they just don't seem to be working.. I feel like my life is falling apart and i have no control.. I have a good job making OK money I have a great boyfriend and my daughter is my life.. I have been getting along with my mom i really have no reason for any of these problems to be happening.. I know that bipolar comes and goes and reacts to everyone differently but why now.. I feel weird around a lot of people and at work i think people are talking about me i don't know if they really are but i think they are.. today i seen my dad he always makes me feel better but today i told him that i missed him because i have not seen him since Christmas eve and he didn't say anything.. and he tells me he loves me but when were together he doesn't hug me or talk about anything that matters to me he talks about his work and my sister that i never seen and how she is just like me.. and that she acts just like me when i was a little kid and about how how is spoils her because he never got the chance to do anything for me.. he asks about my daughter but he really doesn't care.. I feel bad for my mother she doesn't know how to deal with the fact that my bipolar is back i can tell she is scared for me and that she knows that the demon is back and she knows i cant control it.. my mother has gone threw so much with me and my issues i don't want her to have to go threw it again.. She doesn't relies that when she says i am going bipolar again that it hurts or when she calls me crazy.. I hate being like this but i have no control.. All day at work i try to not cry but it is so hard i feel like crying all the time and i think some people can sense something is wrong with me so they keep their distance and it bothers me so much.. I have so much on my mind.. <SPAN class=blsp-spelling-error id=SPELLING_ERROR_0>Jaqulynne's father is being a wicked jerk not paying child support and he does not relies that I so had it and if he keeps messing with me i am going to take him back to court and make him pay for <SPAN class=blsp-spelling-error id=SPELLING_ERROR_1>Jaqulynne's health insurance and wicked screw him over.. lets see what else is bother me I am my period so bad I just keep bleeding.. I just want to sleep all the time because <SPAN class=blsp-spelling-corrected id=SPELLING_ERROR_2>that's the only time i have no worries and i am not crying i cry my self to sleep.... well i guess i will end for now i hope that i will have a better day <SPAN class=blsp-spelling-corrected id=SPELLING_ERROR_3>tomorrow


<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: windowtext; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">Hello I have been on all sorts of meds for my bipolar I have had bipolar for 10 years and lamictal and koltapins and I still have anxiety that is the only thing but at first when you get on the meds they make you feel weird but after a while if you don’t take them you will feel more messed up and if you have bipolar it never goes away you might be ok for a little while but the demon comes back so you are better off just staying on your meds..<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>

[I edited your post for vulgar language per Forum Rule #3 -- thanks, serafena]

Post Edited By Moderator (serafena) : 6/17/2009 3:49:33 PM (GMT-6)

Veteran Member

Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 1432
   Posted 6/16/2009 10:13 PM (GMT -6)   

Hi Q & A,

Welcome to the healingwell Bipolar forum.

Yes it is definitely better to stay on your medications.  You can't play with them and take them when you feel like it.  You need to be on them consistently to see the full effects of them.  Plus you need to stay in close contact with your pdoc so that he/she can make the necessary adjustments along the way.

A lot of people with bipolar benefit from also seeing a therapist as part of their wellness plan.  Maybe you should consider this.

Wishing you wellness.

P.S.  You only need to post your question 1 time.  If you post your same question on someone else's thread, it takes up their space and confuses everyone.  Thanks a heap. blush

 Bipolar - 2004
     Crohns disease - 1995 
Arthritis & Fibromyalgia 
Leo Buscaglia

Post Edited (sukay) : 6/16/2009 9:34:14 PM (GMT-6)

Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 6/17/2009 4:55 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Q&A,

Welcome to Healing Well and to the bipolar forum. I'm sorry that you're having a hard time. It sounds to me like your medications need to be looked at by a doctor. You need to have them reviewed and adjusted from time to time to keep up with the mood swings, and yes, you absolutely need to keep taking them (even if you feel better) or you will have a relapse.

It also sounds like you're under a good deal of stress which makes the mood swings worse. Have you ever seen a counselor? Therapists help to resolve some of the issues we have in our daily lives and help us reduce our stress. I'd really recommend it.

It also seems like you could use a little more information on how bipolar works. I'd really like to recommend a great book by David J. Miklowitz called The Bipolar Disorder Survival Guide. It's a easy read, but it's really informative. It's comforting to know you're not just nuts -- that all bipolars go through the same things you do.

I hope that helps,
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II

Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 6/17/2009 5:07 PM (GMT -6)   
Q & A,

For the future,

Please do not flood the board with posts. I appreciate your keeping your questions to one thread a piece. Thanks,

Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II

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