I have been recently diagnosed with Bipolar. My doctor first tried me on Depakote twice a day and xanax three times a day. I could not stand the weight gain and ask for something else that would not have that side effect.
He then put me on Lamictal and that wasn't helping much. I was up to 100mg twice a day along with the xanax 3 times a day.
I was up, down, up, down, just like you. My psych doctor now just added Geodon 40mg along with my current meds and will see me in a few more days to check on things.
He said I am going through rapid cycleing also, so I know what it feels like. I always say, I don't care about anything anymore and just want to get well already. I don't remember who I was. I just know this is Hell living like this.
I hope things work out for both of us. But please get back to the doctor and let him/her know what you are going through before you hurt yourself. There are many meds out there for you to try, although I know it takes awhile WE JUST HAVE TO HANG TOUGH. Many people have worse diseases/illness than us with death at their door. We need to count our blessings, even though we seem we are going through hell.
Hope things go well for both of us.