Help in understanding Bipolar wife

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coaster550
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 19
   Posted 6/22/2009 2:27 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi, am I in the right place for getting some info on trying to understand a bipolar wife? Needless to say I have the usual spouse questions, as my world has been turned upside down in the last 18 months. So basically just trying to find out more and try and work outr a way to keep my personal pain seperate from supporting my wife, iff you know what i mean. I am a very logical guy and there seems to be so much stuff that doesnt add up, and I think it doesnt add up to her either. anyway, let me know iff im in the right place.
 
Thanks

poodles
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 180
   Posted 6/22/2009 6:45 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi coaster,
You are definitely in the right place. Ask your questions, and read other people's posts. We have several spouses of bp sufferers here who can share their experience with you. Also, us bp'rs will be glad to share our insight with you.
So welcome. I hope you two find your way through the maze and get the help you need. It is worth holding on to love.
Vickie

Fibromyalgia, Bipolar II, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Anxiety, Arthritis, High Blood Pressure, etc.


coaster550
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 19
   Posted 6/22/2009 7:29 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi, thanks for the reply. To say that the last 18 months has turned my world upside down is an understatement. Will try and cut a long story short. And beleive me its not easy for me to go through this.
Ok, married 17 years three kids, i would say a very happy life, good job never any money troubles.
Ok last xmas out of the blue wife starts saying things like, i need my space, i love you but not in-love with you anymore.
Ok so i do what i think is best and give her space and encourage her to go out, buy her concert tickets for her and a girlfriend, i look after the kids, no problem. Im thinking shes pissed off and iff i give her space it will be ok.
Ok so things escelate, the going out for a drink with her friend and il be in around 12 turns into rolling in a 7am.
things then turn into the "i hate you" "i cant bare to be in the same room as you", "ive never loved you", "marrying you toolk away my chance of being happy" and to the kids "You dont want a mother you want a cleaner"

So by now i am panicking and wandering what is going on. im physically fit but still managed to lose 2 stone in weight over that period.

Mastercard bills start going through the roof, cash withdrawels at odd times, bank account gets drained over a three month period. Bills that she told me she had paid start to come back unpaid. Starts looking for a flat and telling me that I can see the kids every Wednesday. but never actually moves out. Out of the blue wants to have sex with me and sais that "women have needs too"

All of a sudden she starts to calm down again, with no reason that I can see. A freind of ours suggests she might be bipolar. she has been on antidepressants for 3 years cyprelix i think. So she starts calming down and things start coming out of the woodwork. She offered to sleep with a friend of mine, although she sais he said no im not convinced.

Now when we speek of the events (which makes her very uncumfortable) she sais that the person that did and said all of those things seems like a different person to her.

She seems to have a very bad memory of that time, is that a symptom or convenience?

Now I am doing my best to be supportive and understanding, but half of me also sais, be very carefull. I guess I am here trying to understand more, and iff it is the case that she feels like the person that did all of those things was not in her control it must be scary for her. I guess I am rollercoastering between trying to be brave and put everything behind us and other times remembering the hurt and trying to safeguard myself.
 
At present she has not been to see doctor to diagnose BP, but she is far more exact with her depression meds, we have baught books on BP and I am doing my best to understand it all, she is scared and sais she feels like a freak 

sorry iff this is long and complicated

BPWife
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 139
   Posted 6/22/2009 8:07 AM (GMT -7)   
Coaster,
Welcome to the board! I too am the spouse of someone diagnosed with BP. You are taking the first and very important steps by getting information on BP. Being informed and educated about the condition is extremely important.

Obviously your wife will need to see a psychiatrist and get diagnosed. But some of the things you mention sound similar to what I went through with my husband's last manic episode. You also said that she is scared and feels like a freak. Your "job" is to let her know that you love her, tell her that she is not a freak but has a medical condition that can be managed and you will support her 100% of the way.

Lastly, if your wife is diagnosed with BP, she will need to see a therapist and I suggest that you get one as well. I have a therapist and it does wonders for me. And so does posting and reading other posts here. You aren't alone!

Good luck and I hope your wife gets the help she needs.

BPWife

coaster550
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 19
   Posted 6/22/2009 8:14 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks for that, just what i needed to hear, I am doing my best with the support thing and as far as the freak comment goes, I have tried to explain to her that its just a chemical imbalance the same way as our friend in diabetic and insulin dependant. Yes I admit, that sometimes im not that strong and the pain she has put me through builds up and i dont have enough heart left to be that supportive. But even then I am learning to go for a drive or get away for 10 mins so that i can readjust.
Just very hard to seperate the personal pain:
 
To follow on I have some dumb question.
 
Does what I have written tie in with BP symptoms or am i looking for a scapegoat?
 
 

Post Edited (coaster550) : 6/22/2009 9:23:24 AM (GMT-6)


coaster550
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 19
   Posted 6/22/2009 11:00 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi again, just a little update this evening. I openly showed my wife the post I had made on this forum as I suggested that iff she felt alone or a Freak this would be a place where she could communicate with people that may have had or are going through the same experiences. Obviuosly she read what I wrote about last year, when I asked her how she felt about its she said that it was as iff I was writing about someone else.

Whyus
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 94
   Posted 6/22/2009 2:55 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi coaster550.  I agree with BPWife's adive.  You need to get your wife to see a psychiatrist to properly diagnose her so you can move on with getting her properly medicated.  Counseling is a MUST for both of you. 
 
I too have a husband who is bipolar and joined this forum in December after he had two similar episodes like the ones you describe your wife had recently.  If you love her, you will see her through this.  It is very painful and very draining emotionally and physically.  Living with someone who is bipolar is not easy, but with A LOT of hard work on both ends, it's do-able.  
 
Good luck.
-Whyus 
 


serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 6/22/2009 5:05 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Coaster550,

Welcome to HealingWell and to the bipolar forum. Glad you're here.

Your first step is to get your wife diagnosed. Until you both know for sure, you're walking in circles. You've put an idea in her head, and she won't know how to proceed until a doctor advises her. She'll feel less like a freak once a doctor gives her a definitive diagnosis and tells her what to do next.

Yes, she will need some community (like this one) to help her feel less freakish, but even more important is proper medication and counseling. She will certainly be welcome if she wants to join, obviously, but make that appointment pronto.

Yes, some of what you have written sounds consistent with manic behavior, but it also could just be the behavior of a woman fed up with her marriage. Bipolar Disorder is a very complex and difficult to diagnose disorder, which is why we don't even try to do it for you here on the board. You really need to see a doc for a diagnosis.

Let me echo BPWife in that I really recommend counseling for you as well. You have undergone something very painful and being the spouse to someone with bipolar (if that is the case) is extremely difficult. Just ask my husband. :-) Having someone to talk with is very helpful.

Good luck,
serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II


coaster550
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 19
   Posted 6/22/2009 10:06 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks again for all your posts, She is going to see her GP this week to get a refereral. Will keep you posted

coaster550
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 19
   Posted 6/22/2009 10:41 PM (GMT -7)   
@ Serafena. I totally agree with your comment, I too have tried to look at the situation and wander iff it is just a case of fed up with husband. Two things to mention, firstly it was a friend that has known us for 15 years that first mentioned that my wife could be bipolar, should also mention friend is a nurse, as the actions she was displaying didnt match her "normal" behaviour. Secondly it is my wife herself that after the event doesnt understand her actions. For me, the question you raised is one of the hardest to resolve, which is why I came on this site. Was it a mid life crisis or a bit of fun, or was it a case of not being incontrol of your own actions. And yes, obviously i am now slightly paranoid so i do have days when i am not sure which it is, but then i also think that not wanting to be with me wouldnt explain hating her own children. Also the lack of clear memory of last year made me wander iff it was more of a condition than life choice. I have also just noticed that I didnt mention she has been on anti depressants for the last 3 years, cyprelex i think they are called

Post Edited (coaster550) : 6/23/2009 12:20:20 AM (GMT-6)


coaster550
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 19
   Posted 6/23/2009 3:08 AM (GMT -7)   
Ok, all happening faster than I thaught, Wife has been to see GP today who has refered her to a psycholagist, wife sais she feels better for taking some action and better news is that psycholagist office is 5 mins from where we live.

BPWife
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 139
   Posted 6/23/2009 8:08 AM (GMT -7)   
Coaster,
I'm happy to hear that you and your wife are looking into getting a diagnosis - that's the first and foremost thing you both need. Your wife seems to want to get help and get better which is an important step. But make that appointment ASAP! You both need to know what the situation is before you can start working on it.

The comparison to being diabetic is very accurate in that BP is a medical condition that can be managed. Personally, I say medical condition because it doesn't have the stigma attached to it that "chemical imbalance" does.

Based on your posts, I can see that you love your wife and want to support her - she needs to know and feel that.

If it is BP, then work with a pdoc for her and get your own therapist so you can work on yourself too.

Keep us posted. Good luck and know that we're thinking of both of you!

BPWife

coaster550
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 19
   Posted 6/23/2009 8:17 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks allot for that, sounds stupid but it really helps getting a bit of moral support on here. And yes my wife organised the appointment herself today and also spoke to her GP at length and on the referal note it sais suspected BP. There is another little hurdle we have had to cross and that is we live abroad and although we speak the local language talking about something so intimate in a foriegn language can be a bit stressfull in itself, however psycolagist apparently has a good grasp of English so that should help too. My wife came to see me in work today to tell me about events and also said that she was worried about going on medication, she had some difficulty with cyprelex at first. I told her that whatever she gets subscribed we will ask you lot on here about and get some feedback so that she is more informed. And on a good note, although i am not the one with BP, I feel much happier in myself having this forum to write on rather than going over things in my mind and analyzing things into a hole.......................So thanks

BPWife
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 139
   Posted 6/23/2009 12:37 PM (GMT -7)   
Coaster,
This site got me through one of the most difficult times so far in my life. It has truly been a godsend for me - along with my therapist of course!

The meds is a very scary part of this. Unfortunately it's a huge trial and error because what works well for one person may not for another and it can take some time. Evenutally you will find the right meds for her. Just get all the information you can and talk to the doctor about it.

You both seem to want her to get better and that's great. It took my husband a LONG time to finally accept his BP. He doesn't like that he has to take the meds, but he accepts it and knows that I am going to support him 100% so long as he does.

I understand your hurdle but hopefully the doctor is fluent enough in English that nothing will get lost in translation.

Keep doing what you're doing and know that we are all pulling for you!

BPWife

mommy.michele
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 369
   Posted 6/23/2009 6:35 PM (GMT -7)   
Welcome coaster....your wife taking the initiative to check out what is going on is a good sign. That is the first and hardest step sometimes, just agreeing that there is something wrong. Being correctly diagnosed is the firlst step, and then getting onto the right medication would be second. I was diagnosed as bipolar while in a similar situation to your wife. I had been on only anti-depressants for 2 years. THis cause my mania to go through the roof. I was then correctly diagnosed and put on a mood stabilizer.
Therapy would also be good for both of you at this time. It is going to take it to help you get through the beginning stages of being diagnosed bipolar. It is trial and error as far as finding the correct medication.
But it sounds like your wife is off to a positive start.
"Just because you're in the driver's seat, doesn't mean
you have to run people over." ~ Fred Pausch


coaster550
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 19
   Posted 6/23/2009 11:12 PM (GMT -7)   
@mommy.michele.....................Bit of a stupid question, you say you were in a similar situation................I know you cannot diagnose but do the events that i have described coincide with your experience with BP. I know its hard to say but i still think of events and cant quiet get my head round them on a logical basis. For example..............ok so we are in the middle of the "I hate you stage"....one night she was calmly sitting on the computer looking at a furniture website making a list of the furniture she needed for her new life / flat..............a flat that she had only seen advertized and never even visited or worked out how she would pay for. She threw a birthday party for me....which i was really suprised about and pleased I asked her how she had payed for the caterers etc she said she had saved up............obviously next month when visa bill came in it was all clear, she had been waking up nights taking my visa card and taking out large amounts of cash........what strikes me about that is that she is an inteligent woman, surely she would have worked outr that the bill would come and i would realise......what do you think? I appreciate its opinions only

mommy.michele
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 369
   Posted 6/24/2009 12:55 PM (GMT -7)   
Well coaster....a lot of what you have written about your wife's actions...could have been written by my husband. A lot of what I did does not make sense, it doesn't even make sense to me now looking back. I am also fairly intelligent, was always a straight A student, etc. But the choices I made as far as spending, were just stupid.
My husband is very "black and white", so bipolar for him is very confusing. For him everything must have a definite answer. So excusing a lot of actions because of a disease was very foreign to him. But once he learned about the disorder more, went with me to therapy appointments, and most importantly when I started to take responsibility for taking care of the bipolar...he was able to see.

I spent, and then hid the bills. I was taking money out of a money market account to cover up the spending on the credit cards...I ended up depleting that account. I opened additional credit card accounts in both of our names. Everything was very illogical. Especially the thought process that makes you believe that no one will notice at some point. So it might be wise for you to run a credit check on both of you to start taking care of any damage before it gets out of hand.

I was also taken off of all accounts. It was hard at first, but now I rather like not having to pay the bills and balance the check book. After a while my husband did allow me to open a savings account, and every month he puts in some money, so that I can still feel like an adult, go to fast food if I want, or go to the grocery for a last minute item needed for dinner, etc.

I hope your wife continues looking forward, to help her start living a better life. I tell you it is horrible to be in her shoes. Trust me, she does not want to be this harmful and hurtful. Regret and guilt go hand in hand for a person with bipolar.
"Just because you're in the driver's seat, doesn't mean
you have to run people over." ~ Fred Pausch


jeeper
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2008
Total Posts : 30
   Posted 6/24/2009 3:09 PM (GMT -7)   
about the money thing...we almost lost our home.  I was in charge of the bills and I just wasn't paying them but I was spending money like crazy.  I was borrowing money from payday loan companies online and by the time they took their money out of our checking account we were overdrawn.  I too, was taken off of the checking account and just did get my priviledges back (after 3 years).   I wanted to leave my husband and get my own place, even if it was just a room to rent.  BP's do a lot of illogical things - I still do, I just don't spend money any more.  I'm on a mood stabilizer which keeps me from being so manic and out of control.  Sounds a lot like your wife, huh?  I hope she gets the help she needs and it sounds like she's on the right track.  But like everyone else has said, its important for you to take care of yourself.  I admire you for hanging in there with her.

coaster550
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 19
   Posted 6/24/2009 11:14 PM (GMT -7)   
Just wanted to say, I really appreciate that you have all taken the time to reply. It is a great help for me to get "neutral" opinions. I too am a Black and white or realistic person so all of this has been a mental strugle for me. I have done the analyzing, trying to work out iff its just a case of her having a mid life crisis and being bored of husband and then i get upset, then i start to think of things that dont add up in that scenario and i feel sorry for her being ill, so it is a roller coaster ride for me too.
As far as the money goes, she went through our savings and got in debt in the bank, but i covered that and had her locked out of the accounts so that got controled before it got out of hand. Now I show her every bill and wage slip and show her what "we" are doing with the money.
I remembered some other, what I consider to be "odd" events: She had loads of unpaid speeding fines hidden away even a fine because she bumped a parked car and didnt report it.
We had a new house built for us three years ago, a lovely house fully fitted and finished.................during her "episode" she said she hated the house and never liked it............Now that she is not in an episode she loves the house and sais she always has.

Anyway. Tuesday 8.30 is appointment with Psycholagist, She asked me what i thaough its going to be like as she is nervous. I dont really know either but i said that i thaught it would be allot of talking and it will take time for psycholagist to get to know her and the things she has been feeling, I also know it is going to be hard for her as she gets very uncomfortable talking about last year and sais that it doesnt feel real.

And yes I do love my wife very much and when things are not in the "Twilight Zone" we are the best couple ever

coaster550
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 19
   Posted 6/25/2009 12:50 AM (GMT -7)   
I also have another question....................when you were coming down off your manic phase, was it a sudden thing or a gradual thing?

BPWife
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 139
   Posted 6/25/2009 7:42 AM (GMT -7)   
Coaster,
Glad to see that you got the appointment taken care of. That's probably one of the hardest parts - getting started. I don't know what exactly is going to happen at that appointment as every therapist is different. But, I would assume that the first couple of sessions would consist of telling the therapist what happened in the past. Are you going with your wife? If so, you can perhaps explain what happened in the past year. You said that your wife doesn't like talking about it because it doesn't feel real. Say that too! It might help her therapist understand where she's coming from.

But, not to sound like a broken record...you should also speak with a therapist on your own. Your needs are different from your wife's. Going to therapy with her is fantastic. I wish my husband would let me come to one of his sessions (he's just started so hopefully soon he will) so I can learn more about his needs.

I too had cut off my husband from all money and am slowly letting him have some more control. We had a long talk about how much comes in, how much goes out and how much is left over. Like you, I still pay all the bills but now I show him what they are when they come in. I tell him about every check I write and we talk about our balance about once a week or so. Money is one of the main reasons couples fight and when you through in a BP spouse, chances are that you'll fight more than other couples. My husbands pdoc even said to him that it isn't uncommon for the non BP spouse to handle all of the money. Just give her a little on her own so she feels like she has some money to do with as she pleases (new shoes, a manicure, etc.).

Since your wife seems to want to get better and that she has the support of a man who truly loves her, you guys are lucky. Keep supporting her through this - she needs it. Also, keep finding out about the condition; the more you know and understand it, the better it will be for both of you.

I know what you're going through. It's tough but you can do it!

BPWife

mommy.michele
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 369
   Posted 6/25/2009 11:13 PM (GMT -7)   
The therapy appointment will be the start of a good thing for both of you. And as another has said...to have your own terapy where you can vent is also a good thing. I know that every bipolar person is different but it helped that my husband went with me to my first few appointments, and then again anytime he felt the need or the therapist did.

For me I did a lot of damage and a lot of lying to cover it up. So therapy at first was hard for me...I had to "come-clean". And a horrible memory is another thing bipolar people deal with. So my husband had to at times prod me to tell everything. It was really hard. And I was very angry at him at that time...like he was against me. But now I know it was needed.

Him being there, so the therapist could tell us both at the same time helped. It also helped my husband learn a lot about what I was going through. Kind of an eye opener for both of us. It took a long time for the therapist to convince my husband that if he was going to successfully help put our marriage back on track that he better start looking at the gray areas...not just the black and white. So besides me having to learn how to live with bipolar, my husband understood that he had to learn too.

It is a lot to take on for a spouse. You have to take on the responsibility of a lot of different things that maybe you did not have to in the marriage before. For example I was always the one who handled the finances (which ended up making it easier to hide the damage I was doing). Now he does it all (which he hates, and lets me know he hates from time to time.)

It is a long road but is doable. I was diagnosed in November of 2007, so we are going on 2 years and I think that bipolar is hardly an issue in our marriage...due to my control and his understanding. I am faithful with my meds and dr. appointments. We do not have a perfect marriage, still have normal spouse arguments and stresses. But now I know when I need a time out and he knows when to step back. My main problem is with the depression side....makes me not want to do anything until I get myself out of it...which at time can take days.

A supportive spouse, when married is a huge part to living successfully with BP
"Just because you're in the driver's seat, doesn't mean
you have to run people over." ~ Fred Pausch


coaster550
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 19
   Posted 6/25/2009 11:42 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks for the reply...............I think I may be allot like your husband as fas as Black and White.........Its one of the reasons I came here..........Its easy for me to think "she doesnt give a crap about you" that is black and white, like you say, there are so many events that dont fall into a clear category for me that have made me look at the possiblity of grey, and then i sometimes panick and think that I am making excuses for her actions.
We talked a bit last night, not that she likes talking about it, and still the main thing she sais is that it feels like it was someone else. I also showed her this forum and the replies people had given and she said that it was wierd for her because it was like I was writing about someone else and someone elses life.

For me I think the main thing now is that she is honest with Doc, I am not going to first appointment as I dont want to appear "controlling" but i want to go to some afterwards basically to make sure that she is letting it all out, which I know is very hard for her. Now im hoping that she likes the Doc as that will make a big difference too

Whyus
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 94
   Posted 6/26/2009 10:31 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi all.  I've been reading your postings.  I have a question about the money issue.  My bipolar husband needs to be taken off our accounts and I need to set up a savings account for him where I deposit money for him to spend.  How do I present this to him without having it turn into WWIII? 
 
I am in the process of saving our home.  I allowed him to handle the finances for a very long time and it has come to this.  We are in major credit card debt- we've stopped using credit and are in the process of settling with the various companies.  Basically I am cleaning up our mess.  I say ours, because I allowed it to happen.
 
Needless to say, every month we still manage to run out of money until the following pay period.  He is a control freak and is responsible about paying all of our bills on time and is always obsessing over the budget.  This causes him stress and he gets irritable.  I have tried to take over the budget and for whatever reason he ends up taking control over it. 
 
Clearly, it's a communication issue between us with regards to the whole money situation.  I don't want to fight with him over this.  How do I accomplish this?  If those of you have either taken your bp spouses off acccounts or are the bp spouse who was taken off the account would share your experience with me, I would be grateful.  I'm thinking I'm going to bring this topic up with our therapist in two weeks.
 
Thanks,
Whyus
 


mommy.michele
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 369
   Posted 6/26/2009 12:47 PM (GMT -7)   
Whyus...wel in my situation it was kind of fast and blunt. I had just let my husband know about all I had done and he told me I have to be taken off or he was leaving. Luckily in my case my mother works at the bank so she was able to bring the needed paper work to our house for me to sign. I basically had to sign papers giving permission for me to be taken off of all the accounts.

A few months later my husband let me open a savings, which he always makes sure I have money in, and that he can check the activity on whenever he wants.

He also put a fraud watch on ours and childrens' credit. So if anyone tried to open an account in any of our names he would be notified.

You can bring up the subject during a joint therapy session if you want, or during a calm moment between the two of you. But you must expect some anger or hurt feelings from him. To be an adult, but be forced to have no control over your families finances is very hard and humbling. But in the case where money is involved...especially to the point where you might lose a home, I think it is a necessity.

I cried so hard sitting at my dining room table signing all of those papers...mainly because it was embarrassing that it had come to that point, I felt guilty, etc. It was hard.
"Just because you're in the driver's seat, doesn't mean
you have to run people over." ~ Fred Pausch

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